Happy spring! Have an awesome day my friend’s
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Thank you so much!!
@DLS @anon74766472
I appreciate that 
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Day 170
Work was okay. Not good but not bad either.
Public transportation is on strike again, this time for 2 days. I still have one option I can use but if the shit hits the fan they’ll strike next monday too. Then no train, no bus, no airplane, no highway will be usable. I don’t know if they’ll really do that. If yes I can’t go to work bc I have no car. We’ll see and wait.
I had a good chat with my coworker who also struggles with hormonal rollercoasters because she’s trying to get pregnant. She exactly knows how I felt the last week, this felt so good!
I downloaded a diary for pms / pmdd that should help getting a diagnosis. But I need a gynecologist who knows and treats pmdd. It’s still a pretty much unknown diagnosis here.
I had yummy food and relax on the couch now. I think at 9pm I’ll have a shower and then hop in my bed.
No cravings today 
Got enough healthy stuff to make my own ginger shots. But I’m lazy now 
Maybe I’ll make them tomorrow 
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Day 3
4th sober evening
My lifeguard training was very cool 
The trainers pushed us and I was just best with a girl that is 16 (I am 39).
Already passed the test for:
- Swimmimg fully completed in 9.47
instead of 15 min - Diving:
made the 25 meters
3 x 3.7 meters deep diving and bringing back a 5 kg weight - 3 jumps from the 3 meter tower
Next time we need to learn towing and rescue handles.
Now I just inhaled 2 naked (no bun)
Angus beef burgers 
In Germany we say “ohne Mampf kein Kampf”
Like no food, no power! It’s a silly rhyme.
That’s it for today!
Satisfied, tired, no craving!
Love 
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Wowza!!! That is a big number!!! Super huge congratulations on your 400!! So happy for you. Love your contributions here. Sending love and hugs and 
!!
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Congrats, amiga! It’s a great number!!!
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Congratulations on hitting 400 days Dana. You’re doing amazing and are seriously such a huge inspiration to me. Keep up the great work girl
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Way to go @Butterflymoonwoman!!! That’s a very nice number indeed!
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@KarenKW congrats on 70+ days sorry you’ve been through Cancer
@2JTravNZ congrats on 6 months
@Scorpn sending strength
@CueBall8n9 congrats on 40+ days
@Twizzlers I’m glad you’ve found your way back to the gym and swimming 
I’m planning to go back to the gym ASAP.
@pinkcloud welcome back
@Butterflymoonwoman congrats on 400 days
952 days no alcohol.
417 days no cocaine.
39 days no vape.
The visit to the cemetery went okay. My niece is apparently very emotional atm. She’s very clever for her age, and the oldest in her school year, so she’s more than ready for school now but it’s not til September. She cheered up by the time we got to my dad’s bless her.
My dad wasn’t doing good at all yesterday, I experienced what appeared to be addiction, staring gnarlingly in the face, it was ugly and frightening. But after a phone call with him just now, he sounded much more with-it. Yesterday he was completely off his head on a concoction of pain meds and sounded like he’d had a load of alcohol (he hadn’t). He was acting very odd, and when we were alone he said he is in so much pain during the night when the meds wear off, that he considers shooting himself. He has spoken to the doctor today, and had some different meds prescribed, so I’m hoping he takes them as per his prescription and that they help his pain. More than anything, I just hope he will be free from the pain ASAP.
I needed to decompress after the visit yesterday, so when I got home I shut my curtains and layed down at 16:15, and didn’t wake until 20:15, so I fed the cats and took my evening meds I was gutted I’d missed my walk. But nvm. Then I slept again until 4am, then again from 5:30-9:30am this morning. Socialising really does exhaust me.
I’ve done my walks and meditations, and now I’ve caught up here, so I’m allowed to watch a show now
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Day 72. Still feeling sick to my stomach and developed a bad headache this afternoon. Not sure what’s going on. Work was pretty good. I was able to be fairly productive until the headache hit. I’ve been reading about Dharma Recovery and might try one of their meetings. I still need to call my insurance company back to see what they’ll accept. I have a sort of case manager with them that follows my after care. AA just isn’t a good fit for me.
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Legally speaking I don’t believe your insurance company can force you into any type of treatment.
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Woo hoo! Congratulations on 400 days @Butterflymoonwoman!!
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tonight will be day 383 of no self harm
still not doing good since quitting. i haven’t felt this low in years.
I can’t stand to have a chance of seeing those kids so on Wednesday my mom is going to pick up all the stuff I had at the daycare and drop off all my uniform shirts.
I applied to the new daycare twice already but I haven’t gotten a confirmation email for either application and I’ve never applied to anything online and not gotten like an automated confirmation email. I don’t want to have to worry about two daycares at once so after my mom picks up my stuff on Wednesday I’m going to call and make sure that the application went through.
until then I’m just trying to keep sane and safe
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Is the new daycare close by. I’d take trip down there and maybe introduce yourself and mention you were just checking on the status of the application. Might make a good first impression
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it’s a 7 minute drive. that might be a good idea, thanks
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Hi. I was thinking…I probably have 20 plus worries.
That seems excessive, this could be a worry in itself!
But actually most of my worries seem to be about negative outcomes that havent happened yet.
Paying bills or rent can be a legitimate worry. But is there ever any point of worrying at all? I am happy with being part of the living again, its simple really, knowing at the end of the day, I was my best, realizing my potential.
But spending days ruminating about the past, feeling guilt and shame, etc. This is not a beneficial activity.
Today, going for a walk by the water, breathing in Ocean air, seeing people at their best. Connecting with people, in this ever changing world was a better use of my time.
It is always important to check-in, no one needs to be alone anymore. I felt ashamed of my addiction, I used alone, missing out on many moments. That voice that wants me to give-in, give-up is no longer there. Its been replaced by a positive outlook and mindset.
Knowing everything and anything is possible, its never to late to change, by first being honest and humble.
Today I chose to listen to those that cross my path, with an open-mind and caring heart.
Happy Spring.
Ron🙏
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Strength to you, brother!
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day 183 AF
Work, in some rather windy and wet weather but instead of us going home we are chilling in our cars, so at least im still getting paid.
Hopefully it blows over by tomorrow because I need a good pay day.
Still here, still sober so always a good day when thats happening, first day of Autum/Fall here in NZ
Much love team stay safe
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Checking in on day 186. Celebrated 6 months sober last week. I haven’t been posting much but check in every day. Today feels like spring and I am happy.
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Generally annoyed and discontent. I hope this passes
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