Checking in on Day 417
Sending peace and love to you all!
Have a great day everyone!
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Thank you so much for sharing with us, friend. There is some heavy stuff there but look at where you are today! You amaze me and inspire me.
Iāve been learning more about bittersweet feelings and I think there is something really important about understanding those feelings. Susan Cain wrote a new book but I havenāt read it yet. Here is a summary:
Bittersweet is based on the premise that ālight and dark, birth and deathābitter and sweetāare forever pairedā. Cain encourages the reader to accept feelings of sorrow and longing as inspiration to experience sublime emotionsāsuch as beauty and wonder and transcendenceāto counterbalance the ānormative sunshineā of societyās pressure to constantly be positive.
Your post resonates so much with me on this idea because we can appreciate, feel grateful, and find the great joys in life when we have gone through such difficult times and worked so hard to get through them. Worked out asses off!!! But it is so worth it to have the life we have now, and itās okay to look back at times and feel the hard feelings as long as we pair it with the brighter ones. Your share presented that beautifully. Love your way 
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Thank you so much!
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Thanks, that makes sense! 
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Day 4
Feel less bloated and pretty good! I do love waking up without feeling like crap.
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Mine as well, I play in a Nirvana tribute band, front man looks exactly like Kurt, and shares his birthday
AIC was introduced to me later, but Soundgarden is hands down my favorite, I always admired Chris and we share a namesake, thatās the one that shook me when he died my best friend from growing up was at his last show, he said he didnāt act like it was the end, but you can feel something in the air. His last song was in my time of dying by Led Zeppelin.
Chris and I also share another thing, his last name is actually Boyle, Cornell is his mothers maiden name he used for performance likewise I use a spin on my name for my music
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This morning was pretty good. I woke up feeling refreshed.
Ive been eating healthier and wayyyyy cutting down on the vape and I think the both of these help with my sleeping.
I went from 0.6mg of vape all day long to 0.3mg every hour at the least and sometimes I can go 4 hours without the 0.3mg vape.
In the morning Iām just starting going longer without starting the vape.
Letās keep up the progress
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Day 43. Feeling so good today and so positive. Have navigated a lot of triggers in recent weeks. The biggest is ahead with a 3 week trip with extended family in June. Hope to be in much more solid ground at that time. Have a good day everyone doing the best you can for yourselves
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Thank you
Iāve been a heavy smoker sence I was 13
That habbit is no good. Wicked unhealthy
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This is my thirteenth day one. Desperate for this to be my last day 1. Trying to stay busy.
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Hi Sarah, glad to see youāre back on the saddle. You are courageous and tenacious and I admire that. You deserve respect, from yourself and from your peers; you are walking forward on a bewildering, challenging journey, and you are not giving up. If you keep learning and keep an open mind, you will find what you need to be the person you are: fully you, fully present, fully sober.
I took the liberty (I hope you wonāt mind) of scanning your posts since you joined in February. There is a common theme of going-it-alone, and there is heartbreak too, a sense of loneliness and deep yearning to connect and be the recipient of connection from people who care about you (your story captures this deep aching feeling: My story: Just wanted to share my story).
Being lonely and being addicted go hand in hand. Our addictions create patterns in our brains and our behaviour where we instinctively isolate (even if weāre physically with other humans weāre not really there); we form a relationship with our addiction, which in its backwards way becomes our ācompanionā, always there when we need it.
We addicts are alone. We are always alone, in addiction.
In recovery we connect (some of us learn for the first time) and have meaningful, fulfilling relationships. This is one of the reasons why recovery groups serve such an important role. The effort - all the imperfect, courageous, tenacious effort to connect and be honest and true - that effort, with other people who care about you, fills a deep human need, and it is helpful.
Courageous, tenacious effort. Sound like anyone you know?
I know your faith is important to you. Have you tried Celebrate Recovery? They have an app where you can connect with their biblically inspired recovery program:
https://www.celebraterecovery.com/what-we-offer/find-a-cr-meeting
Youāre a good person and you deserve to be your full self. You are in a heartbreaking space now, yes, but you are far from being lost. I promise you will find what you need if you reach out and connect, try something new. You can do it. You are a good human and a good mother and you can do it.
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Checking in on day 341.
Generally feeling good at the moment. The kids and I are enjoying the Easter break and having nice breakfasts and chilling out. My daughter has been looking through my wardrobe for clothes to try out. Sheās going for a ādark academiaā look.
When I was out earlier today I saw my āexā that I ended up having to distance myself from last year. He tried to say hello, and then when I got home I saw that heād sent an email asking why I wasnāt speaking to him. Heās saying he stopped drinking a few weeks back, and part of me feels that I should be encouraging him, but the list of things Iām upset at him for is actually pretty lengthy and I wouldnāt know where to start.
My son has been asking if we can go somewhere (like Dublin) for his birthday in July. Flights seem reasonably priced but accommodation seems really expensive. Thatās what Iām going to spend the evening researching.
Wishing everyone a sober day!
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I really appreciate your insightful wisdom @Matt . You nailed it for me and Iām grateful for that. I learn new things here daily. I just came from my weekly Al-anon meeting. There was so much love expressed today in the shares. Itās so beautiful when people have the courage to change. I am so blessed. I receive love from everywhere I look. Iām not sure gratitude is a big enough word. Hope your day is blessed.
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Welcome back Sarah. Itās commendable, to put it mildly,that you have the courage to keep trying. I just read Mattās response to you. Imho he laid some wisdom on you. I feel strongly that we do this together. I know I certainly need support from others. Lean into this community for whatever you feel you need. We got this ODAAT! All the best.
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462 days no alcohol. And if I have had a lot of triggers latley, ohh my! But not one drop. Had I drank I would not be abel to stand strong in my role as a mother and a rolemodel. It have been a few tough weeks.
Much love to you all 
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Wow.
Thank you 
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Thank you so much
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Day 187
Not much going on rn, Iām doing good and still no cravings in sight.
I had to get my bike fixed again, the saddle was too low. Now I can bike perfectly 
Slurping coffee now, at 9 pm 
Weāll see how the night is going to be hahaha.
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Day 34 and going well. Hoping to keep on keeping on. Looking forward to long weekend
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