Been very busy recently I have alot to catch up on here and I hope all are doing well
The bank holiday weekend was really relaxing as I managed to get some good news that I honestly thought was never going to happen, so I was able to actually out my problems down after 3 years dealing with it all for the bank holiday Easter weekend. Back to busy today but it’s good busy for once.
My prayers have been heard after 3 years I believe the lord’s timing is always right.
Forever grafeful for so much that wasn’t possible, if I hadn’t tried my hardest and still do on a daily basis to stay sober … Well none of the good stuff would of happened. It’s taken alot of small things keeping on track to make the big things happen - still a working progress - that’s life.
I will catch up today at some point, I have missed you all.
You can do this, I beleive in you
We all have relapsed, know that it is hard to come back from and leaves us feeling defeated.
Your here and that means so much, it says alot about how much you want to keep trying
My relapse lasted 2 years as I was beleiving the lies my brain told me. I did alot of damage in those 2 years.
You have a great chance for yourself and I’m really pleased you are here trying hard, that’s all we can all do, keep trying our hardest and hope it sticks.
We are all that one drink away no matter how many days we have.
It’s good to see you post today, stay strong you got far before you can do it again
This is my first morning in a new seaside town and I’m pretty excited about all the beach walking I can do. I gotta find a new coworking, so been doing some online research. All in all, it’s a great day to be sober!
Out of my own experience I can say that food supplements containing 5-HTP helped me a lot to feel better throughout the day, and to sleep well at night. In combination with herbal teas this helped calm my nerves down to a point where I got room mentally to think about other activities that would help me in the long run. Might be worth a try for you, too.
Thanks for all the support you spend to @zzz
… All the best for you!
Learned a lot from your posts.
Hopefully.
My plan is just to dive into void… If it comes and not to choose a exit strategy again, that doesn’t work. Maybe I can learn from my new diving experiences.
Had lot of clean days, didn’t drink that much but it’s crashing me down so hard mentally and physically if I do. And I hate the 3-4-0-1-1-0 numbers I am creating these days.
Happy and sober. Life is good, I got my promotion at work, (found out about a week ago but a good friend had some good news and I wasn’t wanting to steal any of her joy by announcing it).
Checking in, Sobriety Date 4/7/2023. I am doing well. Today. Called my sponsor this morning and had a good conversation with him. I am seeing progress which is good. I got to keep running with that. One Day at a Time. I am powerless in controlling my addiction and this is becoming more evident to me. I need the help of God and others. I need to surrender everything every day. That will keep me sober. So today is a good day because I am remembering this.
Yes, I agree that this is progress; a step in the right direction.
It’s quite possible that all of things are working together leading you to relapse with alcohol, and in order to quit alcohol, you’ll need to address all three of these.
The one thing I’m noticing in your response is that alcohol is still being assigned value; along with porn, nicotine, and junk food. Much of my path comprised of breaking down the crazy high amount of value that I placed on my DOC. Like you, I really believe I’m getting the best feeling in the world when I use. But I’m going to admit that I was being deluded, tricked. I might admit that my DOC does a good job of altering my mood. But never again will I use stress as trigger assuming that using will cure my stress or make me feel better. The fact is using doesn’t cure stress. It creates it.
I think of my favorite example. I imagine a guy coming up to me handing me $1500 in cash. I’m stoked, elated. Only later, I find out the this same person embezzled $2000 out of my bank account. Did this person give me $1500? No, he actually stole $500 from me. But instead of having him arrested, I choose to seek him out to do it again??? Why? Because I want to feel the same excitement of him giving me the $1500 as I felt before. And meanwhile, I’m watching my bank balance deteriorate. That’s what our DOC’s do. They trick us into believing that they’re offering something of value. When, in fact, they’re only stealing from us and leaves us wanting more.
Furthermore, I wanted add. My subconscious, the main decision maker, doesn’t and will never understand this. So it is possible to allow my mind to drift away into craving so much that my subconscious takes over and I no longer have choice. In your case, the cravings turn into crossing boundaries (porn, nicotine, junk food), which raises the toxicity level, which leads straight back to alcohol.
@Scorpn congrats on 6 months substance free your other numbers are looking good too @JenMar that’s definitely a win good luck for your convo with your husband, or I hope it went well @FeelingBetter congrats on 40 days @zzz don’t give up, stay connected here I will say one thing though, if you have time to drink beer, you have time to meditate for ten mins you could even find a quiet spot in the forest @ShadowFax congrats on 9 months @Markx congrats on your PB @liminal.rehab congrats on 40 days @Noshame congrats on your weed free week @Dmcg1987 welcome back keep trying @Teresa.13 congrats on your year
973 days no alcohol.
438 days no cocaine.
60 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.
Checking-in for yesterday…
Using dreams during my no binge-eating streaks. Spiked with an E, didn’t feel anything apart from irritated that I’d have to reset my sobriety date. Another one where I was actually drinking hard spirits in some kind of dive bar. Can’t really remember any more details than that now, but I’ve also been having very vivid flashbacks of traumatic experiences, I’ve been deep breathing my way through them and letting them pass, and I’m okay. It’s just making me wonder if this is what life without my last major addiction (binge-eating) is going to be like for a while, or from now on. I’ve had memories come back that I’d never recollected before, for example. It always intrigues me how the mind works, so I’m trying to remain an observer rather than getting caught up in it all.
I do not binge anymore . I’ve been teary, emotional, terrified, but it’s time to fully feel my feelings. I’ve been putting my hands over my heart and telling it I love it and I’m going to look after it.
I didn’t get any sleep at all on Sunday night, then last night I had a last minute visit to my dad’s and my brother and his family came, so I got to see my niece it was a nice visit, but I was emotional again when I got home. It was late when I did my walk, I started my check-in but since I’d had no sleep the night before, and it was already late, I fell asleep. I slept well and feel good so far today.
I really do understand this. I have done the same, can’t
drink, don’t want to eat, so I pace around the house like a mad person looking for escape. You said you train? Why not do exercise when you are feeling like this?
Day 192
First day of work after vacation is always meh, but it was oookay mostly. The little bitchfights between some coworkers bother me more than the stress does.
I don’t understand why ppl keep on fighting each other instead of supporting each other. Everyone wants to be the best, prettiest, the smartest.
And the talking behind ones back…oh my…I hate that. Adults behaving like little kids.
Okay, enough
I’m doing good, the spark keeps sparkling, the sun is shining, all is good
My skin is upset but this will get better eventually, I ate a lot of stuff what’s not good for me. I did it anyways
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong
Cam - this is such a powerful tool! I try my hardest to do the same with myself in hopes of understanding myself a bit more. You will certainly have some adjustment period when you relinquish a coping mechanism (aka addiction) and I hope this transition away from binging will pass quickly. You have the power, you have done it before and you CAN do this. Sending you so much love! You spread the love so often and you deserve some back.
you got far before you can do it again 
your other numbers are looking good too 
good luck for your convo with your husband, or I hope it went well 
I will say one thing though, if you have time to drink beer, you have time to meditate for ten mins 
you could even find a quiet spot in the forest 
