It got me all amped up on adrenaline and now im having trouble trying to sleep 
imma do a meditation. That usually does the trick
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Iām so sorry you feel like this. I know you feel totally redfaced, but you didnāt hear someone calling your name a few times, so what? Iām sure everyone will have forgotten about it. The asking someone to be your sponsor does feel a bit awkward, but it will happen when it happens. And donāt ever take someone saying no, or it not working out personally. People just mesh at the right time, there is not fault on one side.
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Itās good youāve written out how you feel. The intrusive using and self harm thoughts arenāt so good so Iām glad youāve written that out. Also glad you physically feel better and had a good day. Checking in is beneficial because youāre able to write down how you feel, be accountable, share your thoughts and feelings with others who āget itā and care for you and your sobriety from your addictions.
Youāve got lots to keep you occupied. Plus all of our minds are our worst enemies lots of the times ( I posted a song called worst enemy in anthem this past week. Maybe Iāll also post it here). Lots of us suffer from that and also accepting that not so good is as good as itās going to get, etcetera. The older you get, I really think that thereās more that gets taken on and harder for free time and relaxing but itās important you have time for yourself even if youāre not really alone but doing something you enjoy with others. Quiet time, relaxing time. I vote you get all of you on a five minute ā relaxation/ meditationā time. I think it would be nice and something different with a lot of positives for all of you. Life can be hard, then when you add in everything going on all around and all the electronics and, and, and ā¦ five minutes of relaxation could be good.
Iām glad you checked in, I hope the using and hurting thoughts will go away.
Big hugs. Lots of love.
Donāt take each of the words of the song literally, itās just the title.
You are cared for. You are loved. Your sobriety is important and youāve done a great job of maintaining it.
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535 Days
Motherās Day today in UK. Itās a sad day for me today with a missing child.
My beautiful son is here at home so Iām not alone.
Anyway I will not be celebrating but Happy Motherās day to those who are 
.
Instead Iām going to go to fitness class then a long swim to keep busy. Then Iāll come home and cook then get an early night.
The best thing I can do today is not think. Push it all to the back of my mind.
Have a lovely blessed day all 
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This song for myself reminds me that what happens to us happens to us, but at some point we have to either decide to let it wound us or let it get us wise.
It made me think that when stuff happens or our greif gets to a certain point it is us who has to take control back of how we react to - how it controls us.
At a certain point we have to pick ourselves up and accept. I donāt know lol just what came through my mind listening to it for my situation/life.
Thank you
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1380
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
Did my first ride on my road bike in months yesterday. Forgot what a smooth ride it is. Love it. Bike been payed for by me not smoking. They said back when I got it should last me something like 5 years. Which will be in June. No way Iāll quit riding it now already. Even though I could afford a new one thanks to not drinking too. X
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cycle by for a cup of coffee 
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.
I am sorry your meeting didnāt go well. What you felt about it. From my experience, your embarrassment is a real feeling, yet often when I ask people of their perception they tell me a completely different story. And I can reframe it. I hope you give it another try. And I am not talking from an AA point of view, solely from feeling awkward.
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That would be nice. It is a short cut through Heemstede and back to the beach
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#Day 1643 
Still chilling in my onesie beneath an warm electric blanked. Because heating the whole living room has become very expensive these days we turned our heating system on very low temerature.
Today? Enjoying my 1 day weekend with doing nothing beside maybe a small walk and going to the cinema tonight. Worked a lot this week so have to get my energy back for tomorrow.
So acting a bit like me new furry friend
Both sober and lazy
Congratulations everyone with adding another day sober/clean! 
Keep repeating 
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Thank you very much for your analytic post and welcome back to day 1. I am there with you, day 2 today - 3rd sober evening will follow. I also do a lot of sports, especially swimming and yoga. And I had 5 sober months till December.
Guyā¦ We can do it this time 
Will follow your way!
My sleep is not the best, but I made some changes last year, that helped a lot.
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Light: I have a kids night lamp, projecting stars in my room. It has a timer and after 20 minutes my room is absolutely dark (also the light of the alarm clock!.. Itās dimmable)
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Magnesium: taking it before going to bad, as itās not only against sour muscles, itās also relaxing the muscles and is good for the nervous system
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Meditation: putting on some sleep meditation or meditation music (be aware of autoplay)
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Timing: our bodies love rituals and having a fix time going to bed and waking up is really helpful
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Pillow: I am using a neck pillow covered with one of the hyped Mulberry pillow case by āSlipāā¦ And sometimes a mask that fits to it. This is not a mustā¦ But to me it helps feeling good provided
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Air and temperature: of cause fresh air and low temperature helps, as well as a minimalistic and clean environment
Good sleep 
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This cat 
Sunday moodā¦ Have a nice one 
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Day 18,
Good morning, I overslept today and I love it. Happy Sunday. Iām gonna get up soon and do some journaling then make brunch. Not sure what to make. I have some dried chorizo in the pantry thatās been there for a while, some greens, some eggs, onions, breadā¦itās an omelet kind of day. Think thereās also some pineapple juice? Gonna bake some chicken thighs later, top it with caramelized onion and chicory then serve over rice. Gonna be good.
Took a nice long bath yesterday and now thinking about this attractive person I met at the gym yesterday. Itās time I started dating again.
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I want to excuse. I sometimes catch myself thinking when I read here, how can they feel like this or that, how can they be lonely when they have family around, a partner and kids. Now, in some clear moments with myself I realise from my own experience that this is awful. It stressed me and I felt guilty at the time. Itās so easy to forget when we are no longer in a certain situation. Drinking and the unsurmountable task to stop is another one.
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Day 1010 clean and sober. Slept like crap so Iām up early. Itās the usual though so whatever. Iām really proud of everyone here for staying clean and sober. Have an amazing day, love you guys 
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Day 950
I sometimes wonder if Iām right in the head. Got preemptively stressed about a disagreement, practised retorts and rebuttals in my head, and it didnāt even happen. Entirely pointless stress and resentment. I wish I could just stop my brain from going there, but it always does. Playing out old resentments, imagining new resentments. Such a waste of time and energy. I just hate that about myself.
In good news, I bought a new shoulder bag, just a few dollars second hand, and put all my things from my old ripped bag into it, minus of course the old receipts, empty packages, dirt, lurking at the bottom and it feels great. It feels fresh, like getting a haircut.
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Day 40 today sober and feeling great about that. I have business travel this upcoming week and the next. I am a bit anxious about that due to the opportunities that will be there.
I have talked about this with my sponsor and downloaded intherooms app on my phone to stay connected.
I will check in here daily as well.
Any other advice or tips for traveling solo?
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Hey all, checking in on day 1008. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Checking in Day 35 AF
Felt so much love yesterday in/around In-person Refuge Recovery meetig 
mind blowing!!
Grateful to be in this space but unfortunately feels unsustainable, Iām guessing Iām learning the language of love after so much isolation and shame. I call HP Love Absolute and Iām VERY grateful for LA seeing us through .
Today is a ride in the woods but bike is giving trouble so this is just a test run to troubleshoot.
Pirsig: āThe real cycle your working on is a cycle called yourselfā
Grateful to enjoy another day above ground with you all,
Ride the craves (Iāll try to choose wisely)
Happy Sunday from Vancouver 
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