Day 13
Stay strong everyone
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4y 11m 15d
Iām really hurting/missing my Dad.
He was here visiting for 3 weeks and left a week ago. Iāve woken up teary-eyed the past few mornings when I get up and remember heās gone back home.
I called him yesterday morning to tell him I miss him and Iāll probably call again later today. Just hurts right now.
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@Scorpn so sweet of you to say that to the workers (I know you made their day and lightened the negativity being spewed at them). Happier that you took your own advice. Hey love you are doing a fantastic job and you will kick the smoking habit in time too ā donāt give up hope
@jjcarson92 welcome back to the TS Site ā doing great on your sobriety journey. What an awesome commitment (5 mile daily walk) ā I love it. Congrats on your CDL license and good luck with the school bus driver gig (more power to you ā all them kids 
)
@Bomdhil glad to have you on this thread Thomas !
@james83 congrats on 12 days my friend ā Great to plan ahead when you have to be in a ādrinkingā environment. Maybe call the place ahead of time and ask for their non alcoholic offerings. If you find na drinks to be triggering then do stick to lime and soda or ginger beer or virgin cocktails (which are mainly fancy juice). Good plan to duck out early if need be.
@Venga030 Welcome to the forum Marco. Way to go on 3 days of sobriety ā this is an amazing community to help you. Also, possibly try meetings and doing activities that will keep you focused on things other than urges. You donāt have to worry about your English ā It is perfect and we can understand you completely. We are here for you and hope to see you around
@Becsta AAhhh ā I do know that limbo sleep ā Iām know I donāt feel fully rested but do feel that my body did get some recovery time. Keep at it ā proper sleep will come. Have you tried melatonin, magnesium before bed, warm bath, lavender oil on your pillow or as a diffuser, a mindful body scan with deep breathingā some or all of these have helped in .
@RosaCanDo Thank you so much for sharing that story ā Really needed to hear that today. I do hope your insomnia gets better.
@Rockstar24777 So thrilled for you getting some sleep!!! OMG that is so awesome. Lets hope the antidepressant meds start doing their thing soon too.
@Nowenbrace Congrats on 100 days my friend (now 101) ā you are doing fantastic ā keep up the amazing work.
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@Catmama23 It is super hard and you are doing it! I just realized that I havenāt had my eyelids twitching for a minute now ā I know at 4 months I was still experiencing it. Funny how when you start healing you almost miss the positives ā Hang onto your sobriety ā the excruciating work will pay off 10 fold. Becoming sober is NEVER going to be the wrong decision. You are strong my friend.
@Marc3 Itās good that you are thinking ahead and trying to attack whatever questions/ feelings may arise from the weekend get together. You have shown incredible strength so far and I know you will be able to handle this as well. Have your own pitchers of mocktails ready (who knows everyone may just want what you are drinking). I know many have posted on threads here for handling social gatherings (may want to read around)ā¦best of luck my friend.
@Noshame āWOOT WOOT! I am so excited to read this. Sorry itās been such an ordeal but hey first step is done ā you passed. My fingers and toes are still crossed for you my friend ā hoping for some great news
@TMAC Iām sorry - I do know how you feel and even though I am 45 I still need to have a ādecentā conversation with my mom daily (hell - I work with her and still canāt get enough). You should try to get daily calls (possibly face time) - it will be great for the both of you and maybe even your doggie?
Checking in quickly ā didnāt realize the time and I need to go pick up my brotherā¦ Iām still sober ā a bit out of sorts today but figuring that out and giving my mind a break so to speak (maybe iāve put too much of a load on it)ā¦ Have a fantastic afternoon my friends - stay strong
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24 days,
Feeling great. Made a decisions to go back to school. Ive realized no matter how often i change jobs to get away from bad influence the feild im currently in is just prone to drinking. So im gonna get out and do something that helps people
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Hiya thank you, hope your journey is going good as well ā¦ and having a good day.
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Thank you, hope your haveing a great day
Thank you Mno hope your having a cracking day
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement! Diet Coke for me and off to the gym after an hour and half to get those endorphins Iām missing. Turning down free champagne has never felt so good
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LOL ā
Such an empowering feeling!!! Enjoy the endorphins when they kick in 
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Checking in sober
I had my freaking first outdoor pool swim of the new season today! It was 14,5 degree air and tonight it will be around 3 degree in Germany. Anyway - I also had the cold shower afterwards (cold is for free, warm costs extra, so I am doing a āKneippā treatment everytime after swimming at this location). I bought a seasonal card, so I can even swim 2 times a day if I want to. No limits.
Feeling refreshed and strong 
Love temperate flashs to feel my body.
Super busy with a special project at work. Itās fun, I love exciting and successful work.
Due to the toxic environment, I asked my boss today concretely to fire me, but they definitely wonāt! This would give me some time to recover from this situation and find new ways. Anywayā¦
Will finish this project in 2 weeks, followed by some holiday for 2,5 weeks. So letās go on applying. Had a very open communication with some coworker who knows me well since a few years and he gave me some helpful feedback of how my work and personalty is effecting from his pov. 
I wrote it down to not forget it.
Much love 
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Iām glad youāre back to swimming and loving it again.
I forgot you all donāt use Fahrenheit over there do you. 
Thatās still way to cold for me to be swimming or taking cold showers. ( Maybe youāre part polar bear? 
)
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We donāt ā¦
We also use meters instead of miles 
Crazy folkā¦
I am looking different after such a session, especially my face and eyes, but I didnāt notice the polar bear until now 
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@ArtMama congrats on 90 days 
@Wakikki sending strength š©µ
@RosaCanDo congrats on 600 days
@Rebabeeba congrats on your year 
@jjcarson92 welcome back congrats on your continued sobriety
@ChickenLarb welcome
@Venga030 welcome congrats on 3 days
@Nowenbrace congrats on triple digits 
@Kelwooo congrats on double digits
@TMAC 
š©µ
1017 days no alcohol.
482 days no cocaine.
1 day no vape.
So the nicotine demon finally got me yesterday, I made it until 3:30pm then gave in, I hated myself for it, and felt very disappointed in myself, and sad that I couldnāt resist like I had been the previous 10 days that I was on the lower mg patch strength. The nurse has prescribed the higher strength patches that I was on while I was doing well and not suffering with intense cravings, but I wont get them until Friday when I got for my shot.
I couldnt stop bingeing last night, I even drrove to the supermarket after the local shops had closed, just before midnight, because I really wanted to finish the last episode of the program Iāve been watching. I havent gone out late at night for bingeing before, but I think its because of how I was feeling about myself for buying vapes, so hopefully it wont happen again.
Today, has been much better. To my surprise I dont have any cravings at all today, no romanticising either, I feel peaceful. I woke up in the afternoon, because I was awake til the early hours. My cats woke me up at 11am, I fed them, took my meds, and had to go back to sleep. Since waking up properly, Iāve done my morning routine, and been for my lake walk.
š©µ
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Itās funny you say that because the second I get a job I have non alcoholic rose to celebrate with the wife and dancing sounds great too
You are so kind for your words of encouragement
Stay awesome as you are
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Thanks friend ā Thatās a great way to celebrate ā I do hope you and the misses get to enjoy some NA rose and have a dance or two.
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Checking in. Day 229
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@CATMANCAM No hating yourself please. You have no cravings today for the nicotine? I am not sure of your not smoking journey and I want you to do what is right for you. The craves will come and the craves will go. It sounds like they were there last night and they are gone today. Has anyone suggested that when the craves come you sit back and let it happen without giving in? Then they will go? Let them wash over you? Without giving in. Throw the cigarettes out.
Right now I donāt think you have a patch on unless you have the lower dose on and you do not have the crave.
A higher patch will put a higher level of nicotine in you. For me it intensified my wanting to smoke, to the point of taking the patch off, smoking ten cigarettes and putting a new one on.
You are feeling peaceful today. I know that a lot of this is very hard for you, as it is for everybody, and I am not trying to disrupt the boat or upset you.
I think, I am not sure, that you can cut the patches in half ( I am not sure) Congratulations on your days free of alcohol and cocaine.
Big hugs ā¦ I am on your side.
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You are a feeling person and that is wonderful. Glad yall had this special time together and he was a part of this new part of your life. I also like the idea of the Face Times or whatever w Chief in the pics also. Big hugs for you, I am sorry you are hurting rt now although it is for a good cause. Big hugs
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