Hurrayy 14 days sober
2 weeks
I woke up feeling good
Made the wifey a cup of coffee
My kitty escaped in the basement and wouldn’t listen but I got him
I think today will be ok 
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Day 236
Thursday: done
Next up: freaky Friday 
The day started very cold with only +5°C but in the meantime the sun is back and shining like a rockstar, that lifts my mood a little.
Since meeting this man I already wrote about, some thoughts popped up in my head.
I have a problem with letting people in my life and letting them get close with me. I’m alone for so long that, right now, I don’t know how to do that any more. That may sound crazy to some of you but it is what it is.
And the other thought is that the outer shape of a man is still pretty important for me. I always say that the inside is more important than the outside but when that time comes for me I suck at this.
And then I think why should I ever be worth it to meet someone when I’m still like this?
I’m not even in a good shape myself! I have flaws like everyone does.
And then my mood drops and the day is kinda … yeah.
That’s currently on my mind and I don’t know what to do. It’s not easy to break that wall I have build up around myself the last years 
I hope you’re having a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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11 days going strong, tired today but managed to buy some new plants and looks lovely on the balcony, dinner later then netflix in bed, sober! 
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@Trashpandaa WOW – how enlightening – wish you the best of luck with your new trajectory. I myself left a careen in Mechanical engineering and started a bakery (now working with family at restaurant and doing wholesale baking). It is so great when you make a change for the positive to help yourself.
@Juli1 damn – that sounds like an awakening swim for sure! All your cells must have felt so alive. I do hope the project completes soon so that you can enjoy your holiday and hopefully find a different, happier place of employment
@CATMANCAM I do hope that you aren’t being too hard on yourself for giving into nicotine. SO glad to hear that you woke up the next day with no urges. Are you actively going to any meetings? It is great that you have come so far in your recovery but I do think that we all need some help and support.
@Butterflymoonwoman so sorry that you slept badly and then had a crap day – Hopefully today is starting out better for you. It is hard to deal with resentment and pushing people out of your head space – sending you strength in accomplishing this.
@anon74766472 – It is important to engage with people but also to do it at our own pace – Great that you are able to see this and communicate your needs in a polite manner… Doing great!
@jjcarson92 I don’t think it’s too much to ask for help. You may have let the maintenance lapse but you have also been spending a good amount of time working on yourself and I can see how a vehicle’s maintenance can be overlooked. Don’t be hard on yourself and do reach out.
@JennyH I am so sorry that you are dealing with ongoing health issues. It is no picnic being in constant pain. Are you able to take anything for it? Do you have your surgery scheduled? You are not being annoying by taking about your pain or health issues. You are now working on becoming clean and living a healthier life. I do hope that your health issues do sort themselves out soon and you are pain free.
@Amy30 – that’s an awesome share – so happy for you and so liberating
@Sabrina80 Totally understand that a outter physical attraction is important at first to start a relationship but many times when you do and get to know the person the inside is shit. Would this new man in your life be willing to start slow and just be friends? After getting to know him more then the outside might start looking more appealing (the saying love is blind imo is because we start seeing the amazing souls inside shine on the outside). I too have been alone for a very long time and am in no shape to start dating again and can’t imagine how I will let anyone in when the time is right… I think we just dive in and see what happens. You deserve to be loved and happy so I would say if any feelings are there you should pursue them.
Checking in on Thursday morning….
I weird day for sure – but I have hope that it will get better. I am sober and so far, have had no thoughts of any of my DOC’s. I am meditating, praying and moving around with the energy I have and hoping that it lasts me all day.
Have a fabulous day everyone – sending much love 
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Yes he does 
I already was open to him about what I struggle with. Not everything tho because I don’t want to overwhelm him.
And yes, those who have been beautiful on the outside have been ugly on the inside
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So happy that you are taking it at a comfortable pace and slowly opening your heart. Wishing you the best in this adventure 
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Day 18 checking in. Feeling meh… it’s been a long week, and I have an interview tomorrow to stay on permanently where Ive been for the past year. Im sure it will be fine even if its not…Just not feeling it at the minute but Im a morning person, so hopefully after a good nights rest I’ll snap out of it. Have a good evening everyone
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Checking in
Day 466
Really have been needing to rely on my HP these last few days. My mind has just been so preoccupied with diff scenerios and diff things and all of this is taking my focus off of what i need to do to stay a healthy person. I have had to force myself to do the things that are good for me (prayer, exercise, self care, meditation etc). But every single time i do something positive, it always helps me. I just wish there wasnt so much resistance there. But this too shall pass. These past few days have just been weird and out of character for me. Things are always changing and this will too.
Today i got all my running around done. I did my prayer and exercised (and boy did i not want to). But im so grateful i did bcuz it really helped!! I have planned my meals for the day and will begin my cleaning soon. Not much else to report. Hope everyone is doing well 
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Hey guys checking in. I’m off the next couple days, I’m home by myself and honestly having a hard time getting my ass off the couch 
. I did manage to go food shopping this morning and I walked one of the dogs, but that was it. Now sitting here readng trying to catch up on here. I just finished watching boogie nights, I thought it sucked but the cast was great, (only reason I even tried it). Wife will be home from work in a little while, then I guess I’ll start my day 
. I still gotta pick the kids up later, probably hit the gym and there’s a 7:00 meeting I want to check out. Alright enough of my rambling. Have a great day guys. 
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Good luck on your interview, hope you get to stay on if that’s what you want. 
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Today is day 18 
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@Marc3 good luck tmrw with ur interview. Hoping ur mood lifts and u feel better in the morning
@JazzyS love ur outlook on life jasmine! Even when ur feeling off ur so positive. Hope ur day has gotten better friend
@Noshame HUGE congratulations on 2 weeks!!! Hope ur day has turned out great! Keep up the amazing work 
@amy30 proud of you for ur hard work! And way to go on speaking ur truth in front of ur friend. Glad they also showed support for u and ur visit went well
@mno beautiful post! You alwyas have so much wisdom and i appreciate it when u share it
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Aloha! It’s me MARcO checking in again 
First I am at a point where i do important dates again!
I’m really glad I had today dates with my addiction counseler to keep on working for going on a rehab/therapy this year!
My second date was my dentist I’m a big yellow-belly all of my Life but I try to put a lot effort in going back to a healthy all around.
It was my second date with the dentist within 2 Weeks and I am still having sweat attacks while sitting on that horrible chair 
I think my dentist is pretty cool handling this with me giving me some tissues after I tried drowning all the place 
After this I went to the city and did have some trigger moments of course but it’s day 4 without alcohol! Now I want to spread some love for all of you!!!
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Checking in. Day 230
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Hey there! Just wanted to check in on u and see if ur alright. U mentioned u were feeling terrifed in ur post 20 hours ago. I know u dont want to talk about it but plz know that we are all here for u if u need 
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602 Days check in 
I have been here reading in the early mornings and evenings in bed like now.
I have had to spend a few days doing some stuff I’d been avoiding … A few days of getting it sorted means I’m seeing progress.
" If I can sit down in the evening and I’m in a better place then when I woke up … Well then that is a good day "
I heard this said on a podcast and it motivated me to spend a few days just doing the things that I didn’t want to do. Realising when I do the things I don’t want to, well, things get done.
Hope everyone is doing okay
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Thank you for taking the time to reply, such a lovely thing to do. I can take standard painkillers and have to wait for surgery until I meet with a Gastroenterologist. Think it is due dillegence which is great, but sadly the NHS struggles to do things quickly. It doesn’t help that my referral letter got lost in the post thanks to the strikes…
Today was a better day though, think it is a lot easier when I work from home.
I am fascinated by you changing from mechanical engineering to a bakery. What inspired that change?
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@Alisa I was doing well with the previous strength patches, so going back on those. I haven’t had a cigarillo for 173 days, but I gave in to my cravings for vapes, which started when the dose of my patches was lowered 2 weeks ago. I was fine at first, but with the combo of that and the situation with the neighbours above me, I was weak.
@XXIX I hope you’re okay. 
Congrats on 9 years smoke-free 
@anon74766472 both. I have reached out to an eating disorder service that I was signposted to by the mental health team, so waiting to hear something back atm.
@JennyH congrats on double digits
@Noshame congrats on 2 weeks
@JazzyS unfortunately anything involving groups and mixing with others makes me suicidal. The Social Care team are going to try to help me with this. I have tried NA and CA, but both were very bad experiences in the end, and I did go back a few times to try again but it just made me really unwell mentally.
@Marc3 good luck for your interview 
@Soberbilly congrats on 13 months
@Twizzlers congrats on 600+ days and well done for getting stuff done 
1018 days no alcohol.
483 days no cocaine.
I bought more vapes at 7am. I’m just looking forward to getting the new patches tomorrow morning so I can get back on track.
Today has been stressful, there was a big leak in the waste pipe of the toilet, so anything that went in, was coming back out, so I only did number 1s, and now I’m constipated from holding it all day. I had to battle with the estate agents to get the maintenance man to come, and he eventually arrived at 6pm and has not long left, he had to take the whole toilet out and replace the waste pipe. There’s an issue with the toilet seat and he agreed it needs a new one, but refused to replace it without a separate works order from the estate agents, so now I have to email them again tomorrow but I’m out til late afternoon getting my shot then helping my eldest step-beother with some form-filling. Hopefully it can be arranged for late afternoon or if he works Saturdays.
So I was supposed to have a day to decompress today, and it wasn’t so. I don’t feel like my usual self. It’s likely because I’m due my shot tomorrow, so I should start to feel better over the next few days, I hope so anyway.
🩵
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Checking in sober. Battling a migraine. I did not need that this week. I’m way behind at work. Trying to remind myself that nothing at work is actually life or death, so it can wait.
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Congratulations friend!!! Im so proud of you 
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