Second check in
I’m in bed already, it’s 9:30 pm. Usually I’m a night owl but today? 
I still can’t chew on my right side, I did wait long enough to give my tooth enough rest. I know what comes next: root canal. Awesome.
I’m so fed up with that tooth guys, that really ruined my mood. But I have no choice, it needs to be done. I’ll call my dentist next week.
My head hits the pillow sober.
Best feeling ever 
@Rebabeeba I hope the mat helped and that today has been better 
🩵
@Markjackson congrats on 80 days 
@Juli1 keep fighting the monster 
🩵
@SoberWalker that Orchid is stunning 
I hope you had a nice time with your family 
@onthewagon31 congrats on your year 
@Dazzle welcome congrats on double digits
@Amy30 sorry about the panic attack glad you stayed sober 🩵
@BrOKenWolf belated happy birthday 
@mewmcmew sending strength 🩵 you’re doing all the right things
@Noshame congrats on 2 weeks no weed
@Cjp enjoy your vacation
@Seb congrats on 60 days
@Catmama23 sorry to read this but welcome back and I hope you do find a sponsor soon
@Scorpn congrats on 200 days
991 days no alcohol.
456 days no cocaine.
78 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.
Typed most of this last night but fell asleep before tagging and posting…
Woke early. Went to collect meds and got a haircut while I was there, to pass some time while I waited for my MH assessment.
Had the assessment. It was difficult, speaking about my history of traumatic experiences. Towards the end she said I would probably be looking at Complex Trauma Therapy, but she said it was group therapy, which I’ve done before, but I don’t benefit from it because I go mute in groups and feel suicidal around other people even with only being online and not in person. I said I was hoping for a referral for EMDR therapy, but she said that’s usually for people who have a single trauma. She said she has a meeting with the necessary department next Weds, and would ask a colleague to update me either straight after the meeting or on next Thurs, to see if there’s anything they can offer besides group work.
I tried so hard to fight it, meditated, layed down with my curtains closed while my cats napped next to me for 1.5hrs, but in the end I lost the battled and went to the shop and binged badly. Suffered the mental and physical consequences and slept all night and all morning too. I’m not shocked that it happened, the appointment was heavy and my coping mechanisms weren’t effective enough for it.
Today I’ve managed my meditations and lake walk, I haven’t binged and haven’t had any urges to, thankfully. I’ve felt peaceful.
🩵
Thank you my friend! 
I was at the pool today first time after 2 weeks because of covid… It was soo good.
Now I feel a bit more normal!
The outdoor season is beginning and so i will have a further location to swim soon. I am looking forward to it!
I am always reading your post.
You are so strong doing your routines.
It’s so good to have you here! 
Im sorry that you are being pushed back into group therapy. I know thats never worked for me either. Are you able to get another opinion or referral. Here in the states we can go directly to EMDR specialist- is this not the case in UK?
You are doing amazing and i do enjoy reading your posts. Sending you love and support.
Hope you are able to get the help your body and mind are requiring.
12 days AF. I’m not so much looking forward to the weekend as this will only be my 2nd weekend AF. The weather is a bit triggering as well as we are getting a good summer tease and my wife wants to do a family poolside cookout on Sunday where the default is typically flowing margaritas.
I have a hike this evening with a sober group I found on Meetup and a breakfast tomorrow with another sober group…kind of nervous having not ever met any of these people before but all of my friends and family are drinkers and they’re supportive of me, but not in the same way that someone trying to remain sober can be. I have another group cycling activity planned for Sunday morning…it isn’t a sober group per sei, just an outdoor enthusiast group and we’re doing a 15 mile round trip ride to “Bike In Coffee” and back, so hopefully I have enough going on to occupy my free time.
Day 111. Glad it’s Friday. Feeling a tad better today but still stressed and tired. I should be able to have a restful weekend.
Day 80 check in. Glad it is Friday. It was a stressful week.
Going tomorrow for an overnight father / son camp out in the woods so that will be fun to bond with my boy.
I hope you all are having a great Friday and have an awesome weekend!
@cwolfman13 congrats on 12 days! Yes the weekends are hard if you find yourself with time on your hands. Best to keep yourself busy (seems like you have that covered). The beautiful weather has me reaching for a nice cold beverage - always alcoholic in the past but not retraining myself to find non alcoholic mocktails / lemin water / ginger beer / la croix etc refreshing.
Having a cookout on a nice weekend can bring on anxiety - take your own beverages so that youll have something for you to grab onto.
Hope you have a fantastic sober weekend.
@CueBall8n9 so excited for your camping trip. Hope you snd your son have a great bonding experience
Day 15 no marijuana
Day 175 no alcohol
My sleep schedule is messed up. I fell asleep at 3in the morning then woke up at 1 in the afternoon. That doesn’t help anything much especially when it’s late
I had both weed and alcohol cravings last ight till right now. But I know sometimes we just need to stay afloat.
I’m saving quite a bit of money. I feel very good about that
No more caffeine today and hopefully in bed by 10 tonight
ODAAT
We got this everyone
Thank you Jasmine! 
Thank you, I’m trying!
@Catmama23 Aw, I remember that, feeling like the back of my throat was going to fall out because I had puked so much. Be kind to yourself while you are feeling so shitty. Sips of lukewarm water, etc. But then once you do feel better, throw everything and the kitchen sink at recovery.
@Scorpn Congratulations 
@Megan3 You can always think of it as you haven’t had a drink this whole year (2023).
@CATMANCAM Hope you get refered to some therapy that suits you soon.
That’s a good way of putting it
I haven’t been on here much in the last month or so. I need to get on more often. I’ve been doing lots of meetings and shares, but there is something about coming here that really helps too. Even if i get on to just read some will help. You’re all so supportive and inspiring! Thank you
You can do this! Im pretty sure none of us are going to give up on you🙂
i had a temp sponsor the last month. To start she had me go to 30 meetings in 30 days and share in them. I have been doing multiple meetings some days. Most of them have been online and I’ve shared in the majority of them. Sometimes i just listen while I’m working. It’s been a HUGE help, more than i could have imagined. You got this!
You’ve got some good numbers there, feels good to be free. Well done 
Thank you Paul.…not feeling great but definitely feeling awesome about the numbers. Looking forward to all the healthy benefits that come from sobriety 
I gave up all 3 at the same time as well didn’t get healthy, got fat 
replaced them all with chocolate but doing a bit of swimming now so maybe one day. 2 years 7 months and I bought someone a packet of cigarettes the other day and they are still saying I should have one whilst in my coat pocket. Still don’t trust myself 100% helps keep the gaurd up.
Oh wow! Now thats an impressive number! Yes, sweets are really calling me too. Yikes!
Glad you are able to get back into swimming. I do find that is a full body workout and i do just live the water.
Id gained a lot of weight in 1 month jan 22 (like 32 lbs) due to all the steroids and other meds and since then i have not been able to reduce cause then i was drinking heavily and now just teetering on the weight issue. I just know that im on a path to better myself and like you said maybe one day the results will show. We just know that going backwards will never get us the results we desire.
You have some self control my friend!!! I couldnt be that close to a pack of cigs. Its unfortunate but i do think we will forever gave to keep our guard up.
Thank you