I’m following! 
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Day 578
I am waiting for an electrician 
It’s 7:45pm, I was getting ready for bed when all the plug sockets just turnt off. I have tried to check each plug etc… and with all the plugs of from the sockets … It’s still tripping off with every plug socket turnt off.
The electrician said they can be any where up to 6 hours wait.
Tomorrow is an important day for me, and in worried it’s all going to be messed up.
The thought of drinking crossed my mind… But then I know everything will just be ruined I can’t choose that for myself.
Deep breathing right now and grateful it’s not an the electricity and we have lights. No fridge though. Hope it can be fixed tonight.
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Yep deep breathe Twizz. It sounds like you’ve done all you can right now. I’m sorry you have to deal with this with an import day coming up tomorrow. You’ll figure it out without drinking. You don’t do that anymore. And you’re right it would only make for a bigger mess. I hope it can get sorted out in soon enough time for ya.
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Thankyou 
Get home safely in your travels 
Yes I can manage this. IV managed worse. And there’s still so much to be grateful for even through the bumpy roads.
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day 225 AF
Woke up from a drinking dream, id snuck a couple in between my usual goto but felt very intoxicated was strange and not overly enjoyable. I definitely dont want that life back.
The thought of holiday beers is also creeping in, especially when my wife and i talk about visiting Vietnam again, that will be hard especially not having my goto right there to grab instead.
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@JazzyS thank you for the encouragement - your words have bolstered me each day. I’m aiming for 30 meetings in 30 days!
@Soberbilly your words made me cry (in a good way)… I have been hating myself lately so this is something I need to work on. The support and love in this forum is so amazing. Thank you for reaching out your post brought me comfort today.
3 days AF baby! I’m loving it! I went to a meeting this morning and told about my relapse and said I’m looking for a sponsor. I didn’t get one yet but went to lunch after with a group of lovely people and got some more numbers. I am going to prioritize this over everything. I realized that I may need to give notice at my job. My work is a huge threat to my sobriety. It is toxic, overwhelming, and everyone is unhappy. It’s not worth it. It’s scary but drinking is scarier. Have a good day all and rock those sobriety socks!!
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Day 11. I just miss how relaxed and freed I felt when I was drinking. Don’t know how to get relaxed in my mind.
I spend time easily but nothing helps like a bottle sometimes. I know it was not a helping hand. It was more of a time killing deception. I was drinking alone %95 percent of the time and it felt cosy and safe - I don’t know how. I feel claustrophobic like I am being held in a room without windows.
Still, I am not drinking today. I hope I can replace that momentary feeling of freedom and peace it gave with something else.
I cannot deny that I’m more healthy, productive and far less anxious. Also this community and very nice people here have been very helpful. These must be enough for now. No need to be hasty or greedy, I guess.
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Oh girl…
Hope they will still arrive tonight and fix the problem. Big hug
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Allright! Be as serious as this crazy blue guy Mark! 
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Day 4
Latenight checkin back home safe
and sober!
Staying sober from:
- alcohol
- toxic relationships
- eating drama
Did a lot of decluttering today. I have something like a dessing room under the roof, behind the wardrobe, this chamber has deep niches where you can hide and forget a lot.
It was such a mess 
Christmas decorations, shoes, electronics, picture frames, folders, bags, creative accessories, suitcases, even more decorations and many strange individual parts.
I haven’t even started on the clothes yet.
Had to pause in the later afternoon, will go on tomorrow. Having holiday this week.
Had good food, a nap and a nice 2200 meters swim. So the fundamentals are covered today.
Much love 
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Oh my goodenss love - so happy for you
3 days af
made it to a meeting - met some like minded lovely people. I can feel the positivity in you today! I love it and am so excited for you.
1st meeting - don’t worry, you will get a sponsor soon enough. Atleast you got some real life numbers and remember we are always here for you too.
You got that right!!! Rock on love - have a great evening 
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Day 114. I find myself wishing I could drink like a “normal” person because I miss it. But then I remind myself that I didn’t like drinking too much and then feeling guilty and ashamed. And while it might relax me in the moment, it’ll make my anxiety worse the next day. I’m just finding it really difficult to relax or enjoy anything. My neck and shoulder muscles are rock hard with tension. Triggering headaches. I think of sleep as my one escape, but don’t actually manage to sleep well. I’m just tired, depressed, and feeling sorry for myself. I’m tired of everything being such a battle. But I’m not going to drink today. Probably won’t drink tomorrow.
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@Andrea4 9 months is massive. Congrats on your freedom from alcohol.
@GenG a month? Already? Wow! Giddy-up! Happy for you!
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Thank you for all your support–it’s meant a lot to me. Checking in on Day 442
Today has been reeallly good. Amazing though, how each day is so different from the last. Yesterday, I was super triggered. Even had a triggering dream last night. Was in a bit of a funk waking up but once i got my day going, it went so well!
I went to a Bible study and then had a killer shoulder workout with some cardio. Did my monthly weigh in, did some cleaning, worked on one of my embroidery projects and made my first smoothie with my new immersion blender (I know these things have been around forever but I never had $$ in my past life to buy gadgets for the kitchen, so im quite proud of this little thing haha). And ya, its been a good day today! Cant complain. Hope everyone else is doing well!
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He arrived, it’s bank holiday and it was 9:30pm.
He has checked for safety. And we only have a few sockets in the whole home working until they can come over and find the problem socket and turn the rest back on. Have extension leads running from the working sockets for WiFi and phone charging. He also managed to get there fridge socket to work.
It’s all going to be okay. A pain. But grateful for what is working and that we have lights and can cook and the fridge is all on. And of course the WiFi is a big bonus.
I have to accept it’s out of my control. Concentrate on sleep and my day tomorrow so everything can run as smoothly as it will
Hope your okay 
2200 meters swim that is great 
Iv been really working on my technique and and have found I can swim for longer. And faster since I put work into the proper technique . Tomorrow morning I will go. I never eat before and begin wondering if this make my performance lower.
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I’m so glad you’re doing better today! 
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Do you meditate ?
I can honestly say this really does help.
For me I couldn’t quite my mind for nothing. I had to start by listening to audio books. I learnt to just listen after many rewinding chapters lol as I learnt to just listen in really. This gave me a foundation to begin practicing mediation, as I had learnt some mind quitening techniques. I do the guided ones. I had to give it a good few tries and find the right meditations for me.
Nikki Sutton on you tube, her voice really let my shoulders release and relax. Also there long sleep ones.
This helped me try to find ways of feeling relaxed and at peace at the same time. And at the same time helping my anxiety and mind.
You may already be a pro at meditation just thought I’d share what helped for me.
when I had these thought like you I thought fort myself I need to find ways to cope with why I need to relax.
As usual is all easier said than done 
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@KarenKW Practically your entire post sums up how I feel! 
Hang in there.
I don’t k now if I’m having a bad day or not. Nothing is actually going wrong, per se, but I still feel restless and anxious. It takes so much energy to go anywhere, but I don’t want to just sit here all day. And I’ve no particular place to go anyway.
Can’t focus enough to read a book (they all have to go back to the library, and I’ve barely read anything). I’ve seen every camping video on YouTube twice, so I’m just feeling out-of-sorts. I do get to see my therapist tomorrow, so at least I’ll get to talk to someone in person. And I’ve had terrible luck picking out movies lately. Don’t watch “Gold” or “Vivarium”. 
I hope everyone is having a good sober night. I check back in after I make spaghetti. 
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Sorry you are feeling the same way. Spaghetti sounds good! I’m not ever sure I have the energy to cook. But I should probably try.
Hang in there!
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