Enjoy your trip! Cant wait to see pics if u post them 
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Have a great time. Canāt wait to see your pics. Never done Spain 
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I figured youād be worried too. We canāt help it. I am just finding it hard to accept, and itsl sounds like you have been too 
I had a chat with my husband earlier about it, and voiced my concerns again. He accepts that drinking causes a lot of health problems for him. There was no real declaration that things would change though. He doesnāt seem to be in a place where he wants to give up alcohol. Maybe, like I was, he is having trouble saying it at the start in case he cracks and ends up drinking. Stress is a trigger for him too. About a week ago he was stressed out and said he might get some wine. I told him it was okay if thatās what he wants to do, but I wouldnāt be joining him. He didnāt buy any in the end, and said he was happy he didnāt the next day. If I could just get him on a sober streak, he might see things more clearly.
Anyway, thanks again for the support Eric, Iām very grateful. Iām going to read your thread now 
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I wanted to wait to post, since midnight last night makes a solid 30 days in my mind (and I go to bed early these daysā¦getting old 
).
Had some lovely relapse dreamsā¦itās the addict part of me throwing a tantrum 
. But Iām proud of myself today, and I couldnāt have made it without all you lovely people here on TS. I am very grateful. 
Onward and upward. ODAAT!
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Oh so exciting. What a great day!
Congratulations Gen. A whole fucken month sober. 
You Go Gurl!!
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Iām so happy I found this group, I think itās going to be a mainstay for me.
Iām on day 15 and two weekends down. This past weekend was actually fantastic, though it didnāt go as planned. I didnāt end up meeting up with the sober hiking group I intended to on Friday evening as only the husband and wife who started the group were attending and I just thought that would be way too weird. I ended up going to the gym with my 13 yo and we had a really good kettle bell workout.
I also didnāt make my breakfast group on Saturday as upon further research, the post was old and the group no longer meets in person and does online only which doesnāt really do much for me. I looked on our local AA website and found another meeting at 9AM so decided I would check that outā¦the website lists 35 different meetings at the location, but when I got there it no longer exists and the suite that was used is now a Jazzersize studio so Iām not really sure what local AA is doing here. It seems like about 90% of meetings are now online which doesnāt give me any opportunity to actually meet people IRL.
A bit disappointed I decided Iād just run my errands that I had planned for later in the dayā¦got the grocery shopping and Costco run out of the way and home just in time to unload everything and head to my kidsā soccer game. Nice lunch afterwards with the family and then took my youngest to the pet store to look for some things for his hamster.
Saturday evening my youngest had a friend over for a sleepover so my wife and myself and oldest ordered pizza and decided to sit down and watch Top Gun Maverick (so cheesy, but good nostalgia). I woke up Sunday morning and decided to make a big breakfast for everyone to eat on the patio poolsideā¦banana pancakes, sausage links, ham, cantaloupe, and watermelonā¦put on some calypso and we really enjoyed the morning and ran it through the rest of the day.
We had an evening cookout, but it wasnāt as triggering as I thought it would be. I think making my mocktails for the occasion was helpfulā¦having my shaker out and mixing awesome poolside NA cocktails was very cathartic. At one point I was making my fourth mocktail and I told myself I needed to slow down because it was Sundayā¦and then was like, āoh yeahā¦no alcohol in these, Iām goodā.
Anyway, great weekend and Iām feeling great right now with two weeks behind me.
Thanks all,
Wolf
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Thank you so much, @Dazercat, you alone have helped me (and so many others) so much. Youāre awesome, Dude! 
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Iām following!
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Day 578
I am waiting for an electrician 
Itās 7:45pm, I was getting ready for bed when all the plug sockets just turnt off. I have tried to check each plug etcā¦ and with all the plugs of from the sockets ā¦ Itās still tripping off with every plug socket turnt off.
The electrician said they can be any where up to 6 hours wait.
Tomorrow is an important day for me, and in worried itās all going to be messed up.
The thought of drinking crossed my mindā¦ But then I know everything will just be ruined I canāt choose that for myself.
Deep breathing right now and grateful itās not an the electricity and we have lights. No fridge though. Hope it can be fixed tonight.
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Yep deep breathe Twizz. It sounds like youāve done all you can right now. Iām sorry you have to deal with this with an import day coming up tomorrow. Youāll figure it out without drinking. You donāt do that anymore. And youāre right it would only make for a bigger mess. I hope it can get sorted out in soon enough time for ya.
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Thankyou
Get home safely in your travels 
Yes I can manage this. IV managed worse. And thereās still so much to be grateful for even through the bumpy roads.
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day 225 AF
Woke up from a drinking dream, id snuck a couple in between my usual goto but felt very intoxicated was strange and not overly enjoyable. I definitely dont want that life back.
The thought of holiday beers is also creeping in, especially when my wife and i talk about visiting Vietnam again, that will be hard especially not having my goto right there to grab instead.
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@JazzyS thank you for the encouragement - your words have bolstered me each day. Iām aiming for 30 meetings in 30 days!
@Soberbilly your words made me cry (in a good way)ā¦ I have been hating myself lately so this is something I need to work on. The support and love in this forum is so amazing. Thank you for reaching out your post brought me comfort today.
3 days AF baby! Iām loving it! I went to a meeting this morning and told about my relapse and said Iām looking for a sponsor. I didnāt get one yet but went to lunch after with a group of lovely people and got some more numbers. I am going to prioritize this over everything. I realized that I may need to give notice at my job. My work is a huge threat to my sobriety. It is toxic, overwhelming, and everyone is unhappy. Itās not worth it. Itās scary but drinking is scarier. Have a good day all and rock those sobriety socks!!
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Day 11. I just miss how relaxed and freed I felt when I was drinking. Donāt know how to get relaxed in my mind.
I spend time easily but nothing helps like a bottle sometimes. I know it was not a helping hand. It was more of a time killing deception. I was drinking alone %95 percent of the time and it felt cosy and safe - I donāt know how. I feel claustrophobic like I am being held in a room without windows.
Still, I am not drinking today. I hope I can replace that momentary feeling of freedom and peace it gave with something else.
I cannot deny that Iām more healthy, productive and far less anxious. Also this community and very nice people here have been very helpful. These must be enough for now. No need to be hasty or greedy, I guess.
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Oh girlā¦
Hope they will still arrive tonight and fix the problem. Big hug
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Allright! Be as serious as this crazy blue guy Mark! 
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Day 4
Latenight checkin back home safe
and sober!
Staying sober from:
- alcohol
- toxic relationships
- eating drama
Did a lot of decluttering today. I have something like a dessing room under the roof, behind the wardrobe, this chamber has deep niches where you can hide and forget a lot.
It was such a mess
Christmas decorations, shoes, electronics, picture frames, folders, bags, creative accessories, suitcases, even more decorations and many strange individual parts.
I havenāt even started on the clothes yet.
Had to pause in the later afternoon, will go on tomorrow. Having holiday this week.
Had good food, a nap and a nice 2200 meters swim. So the fundamentals are covered today.
Much love 
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Oh my goodenss love - so happy for you
3 days af
made it to a meeting - met some like minded lovely people. I can feel the positivity in you today! I love it and am so excited for you.
1st meeting - donāt worry, you will get a sponsor soon enough. Atleast you got some real life numbers and remember we are always here for you too.
You got that right!!! Rock on love - have a great evening
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Day 114. I find myself wishing I could drink like a ānormalā person because I miss it. But then I remind myself that I didnāt like drinking too much and then feeling guilty and ashamed. And while it might relax me in the moment, itāll make my anxiety worse the next day. Iām just finding it really difficult to relax or enjoy anything. My neck and shoulder muscles are rock hard with tension. Triggering headaches. I think of sleep as my one escape, but donāt actually manage to sleep well. Iām just tired, depressed, and feeling sorry for myself. Iām tired of everything being such a battle. But Iām not going to drink today. Probably wonāt drink tomorrow.
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