Thanks Jazzy, not sure on reward…i have been bad at rewarding myself. No we got through it…and completed the mri. So that was good!
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Thank you!! …and welcome to talking sober!!
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Cueball, i believe it just takes time. Sometimes i feel like a malfunctioning firefly or lighbulb
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@JazzyS 
I hope you’ve had a better day 🩵
@Binx sending strength, I hope your son’s appointment comes soon so its out of the way 
and congrats on 2 weeks 
@Rainwater it’s good that you’re here, shedding light on those thoughts, remember how you felt before you quit, bcuz you’d be right back there sooner or later if you relapsed. Sending strength 🩵
@Juli1 welcome back 
always glad to see you coming right back here, but I’m sorry you’re struggling too 🩵
@SobrietyForMe congrats on 3 weeks
@MooseTracks sorry about your car troubles, but putting your saved money towards a new one sounds great 
congrats on 8 months
@Loveisiah welcome
998 days no alcohol.
463 days no cocaine.
85 days no vape.
Woke early, but not early enough to complete my morning routine AND go to the gym, chose to do my morning routine, thought maybe I’d go to the gym in the afternoon, but I haven’t managed to make myself shower so I couldn’t go and be around people. I get so frustrated when I can’t make myself do the basics, such as showering and cleaning the home, I never used to struggle with these things prior to becoming chronically depressed circa 2012. No matter how good it makes me feel when I do either or both of those things, I still can’t do it when I want to. It usually happens when I get so angry and frustrated with myself that I can’t tolerate those feelings, like a state of desperation, or a deadline such as an appointment where I have to see someone, or a tenancy inspection, like on the 11th, then I can do it.
I’ve done my walks and meditations. I also watched an episode of I’m a Celeb, but I ate crisps so I still haven’t cracked it. Maybe tonight…
I hope you all have wonderful sober weekends.
🩵
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Afternoon checkin day 118. Still at work. (Meaning my desk in my spare bedroom.) Not as panicked as yesterday, but definitely depressed. Strong cravings again. This has been bad all week. Thankfully I have therapy Monday. And it’s almost the weekend.
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Looks fantastic and especially after that nightmare of a bus ride it must be even more relaxing to finally have some quiet time without ADHD kids around 
. Have a splendid vacation!
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Checking in on day 130. Not much energy in the last days and didn’t go to the gym today, but also no thoughts on drinking. Tomorrow we’ll visit our Dutch neighbours in Landgraaf and hopefully the weather’s going to be with us 
.
Have a good and sober day and night 
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Thanks for saying so, @Markjackson. I know I’m doing better than I was, but it’s not all smooth sailing. Having other people tell me that I seem happier, or sound better really drives it home. It’s easy to not see the changes in myself that outsiders do. Thank you!
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Checking in
Day 446
I kind of surprised myself today. Was feeling a bit fatigued so i missed my 530am workout. But still, mid-morning I decided to attempt to do triceps and chest with resistance bands (which didnt go well bcuz im used to using dumbbells and i dont have any). Was feeling upset & frustrated about not getting an “actual” workout in but then decided to go for a 2.5km walk thru this huge park with my son. It was sooo nice out! So at the end of the day… i dont have to be perfect with my workouts, i just need to be consistent.
I did a few things for myself today. Painted my toenails & put on a little makeup which felt really good! I also did some tidying up and am prepping Shepards Pie for supper tonight (its one of the things i can actually make). Will spend some time doing recovery related stuff now such as readings and prayer, since i didnt do them first thing like i prefer. Im really having the urge to snack today (even tho im not hungry) so just trying to focus on being healthy and not engage in this. Not much else going on. Have a great day/evening everyone!
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Checking in. Day 210
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With all the really insane and terrible things going on in my life this week, i almost forgot to put out my happy news.
My little one is finally agreeing to potty training! We have had no accidents all week. And have even used a public restroom a couple of times!
It’s the only good thing to come of me being home all week and not working.
Days
207 substance free
124 self harm free
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@MooseTracks Congrats on your 8 months my friend. I do know the feeling of being stuck and not seeing the results from sobriety as quickly as I’d hoped. You are so right – keep continuing with the hard work and slowly but surely the benefits will appear. Do take care of yourself and don’t overwork yourself. Good luck with the car shopping 
@Binx keep us posted with your sons results – hope the biopsy went well today. 
@Markjackson ok – I’m going to be pushy and say you should reward yourself. This is amazing work you are doing for yourself. It needs to be rewarded - doesn’t have to be anything big even – could just be making your favorite meal to enjoy. Glad you got the MRI done with – hope they are able to figure out the issue and get you better.
@CATMANCAM Thank you for asking – been a better day for sure. I am sorry you are going through this chronic depression. I’ve had bits and pieces of depression and I know how hard it was for me to get to daily routines. I can’t even imagine what you are dealing with but do not beat yourself up for not getting to those tasks. One thing that helped me is forcing myself to have a routine (having to go out of the house to do tasks) - not sure if this is something that may help you. Hope you have a better evening my friend
@KarenKW glad you are feeling less panicked today. Sorry the cravings are strong and you are feeling depressed – I do hope that these feelings dissipate soon and you are able to enjoy your weekend.
@butterflymoonwoman so glad you got in all that selfcare today and enjoyed the outdoors with your son. Yeah to realizing that you don’t have to have the perfect workout. Enjoy that Shepards Pie 
@scorpn Yeah to potty training – that’s such great news! Congrats on your clean days my friend
Checking in with my sober self
135 days alcohol and weed free
550 days cigarette free
It’s been a better day today. Did have a few hours of pain relief and little fatigue so got some work done. My brother made us some crunch wraps for cinco de mayo – not missing the traditional accompanying drinks. About to enjoy my dinner (much later than I like today as I did not have the energy to cook after baking all day. Can’t beat myself up over this – will most likely be up late so at least will still have plenty of time to digest…Have a wonderful Friday everyone 
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Day 22 no marijuana
6months 1day no alcohol
Yesterday sucked
Today was the aftershock
Everyone feels venerable but me and my wife made it and are both still sober
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400 days
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Whoo hoo! Congratulations 
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Glad to hear you and your wife are sober and well. Hope she is healing after her er visit yesterday.
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Checking in day 369. Took a 3hr nap after a day of travel back home from our girls trip. The trip was a success! Showered, catching up on TS threads and awaiting my hubby to come home from work. Life sober is soooo good
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Checking in with 66 days AF
Just when I thought I was having a great day - up early for spin, completing household tasks, planning my trip - WHAM! Discovery of leak in my main water line, slowly flooding our front yard and street. Had to shut off the water and though that isn’t the end of the world it IS a huge pain in the ass. And I had such a thought of drinking wine, which requires NO water by the way! But I didn’t stop at the stupid store when I ran out to get cash to tip the guys who SAID they could fix things by end of day, which they didn’t, as I am about to go to bed with a huge trench of muddy goo in my yard and still very much annoyed. Harumph!
Take care all
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