Hey guys checking in. Just pulled up at work, last day before 2 days off. I slept like shit. Woke up around 2 and couldn’t get back, my wife started this thing where she grinds her teeth while she’s sleeping. Sounds like somebody’s chewing on rocks, 
. Anyways I ended up on the couch, and than said the hell with it and hit the gym a little earlier than usual and listened to a few podcast. I’m really getting in to them lately, it’s like being right in a meeting, when there’s not one to go to.
Have a great day guys.
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This is beautiful, thanks for sharing 
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I’m so sorry you’ve endured all of this pain. Thank you for sharing your story. Great pics!! Nature is so healing. I read that just being in or observing nature for a short time can lower blood pressure, cortisol levels, etc.
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Thank You for listening. I believe I need to share it with someone as it might be better option when get drunk and fight with my demons. I feel like my inner wounds are healed, but it takes time. After my father srabbed me I had long period of post traumatic events. It lasted very long. If it would be different story if that would have been done by unknown person, but it was my father and it was very hard to accept. That day when I smashed window with my fist, I was very drunk and my wife said I screamed that I was going to go to kitchen and finish what my father had started. Maybe when I saw my hand all wound opened - it actually saved me from fatal event.
But as I feel it right now it felt like letting it all down, all that pain I focused into that punch and the pain was gone then.
I later started to talk with my father again and we now have healthy relationships again. It was hard for him too. He said that if I would had killed that day he would been killed himself. He also had lots of health problems later. He was blaming himself all the time. I forgived Him and I believe that is better for both of us.
It’s not for me to judge and I never judge anyone. We all will have our judgment hour at the end. No one is without sin.
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Wow kevin! Big congratulations to you friend 
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Congratulations 
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Sending strength. You know it won’t help in the long run. 
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Day 988
Pride comes before a fall…was so pleased of myself for cleaning the windows, the cooker, sewing my daughter’s dance costume, etc, on my day off that I totally forgot my daughter’s dentist appointment tonight. It is a special braces appointment, and our first one, and only available once a month, so have to wait a month to get another one. I hate that I will seem flaky to the dentist. Oh well, I can’t do anything about it now. Will have to ring tomorrow and apologise profusely. The amount of things that I “forgot” when I was drinking (actually I was just drunk and couldn’t leave the house because people would be able to tell) it is funny how much it bothers me now.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1,046. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Checking in Good morning 
to all…gratefully awake but sleepy…I’m at a week but realized yesterday I’m still in a deep fog when I got to my car and realized I had left my keys in the middle of the dollar store lol. If that’s the worse of a boring day I’m happy…everybody stay strong at one day or 5 years just keep going!
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Morning Check In
Day 437
Morning everyone!
Starting my day off with a hot coffee while getting my son ready for school. Seems to be a beautiful day out there today. On todays agenda… grocery shop for odds n ends, a workout, and some self care. Maybe even a nap in the early afternoon. Thats about it. Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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Sweet, good on ya.
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Day 14
Second checkin…
Constantly thinking about drinking would be okay and wanting a drink to treat myself.
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It wouldn’t be a treat. Just the beginning of a new horror show for you.
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We actually talked about that. Our son moved out to Carolina with his GF so there’s a spare room now. It would probably benefit her more anyways cause I know I’m a motherfucker to sleep next to, I toss and turn constantly. We’ll probably have to do that a couple nights a week, neither of us can run off 5-6 hours sleep like we used to be able to.
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As far as podcasts go. I bounce back and forth between Recovery Elevator and The Shair podcast on the hour drive to and from work. There’s a couple hundred episodes of each so I’m good for a while. 
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