Awe love - sending you hugs and comfort. Hopefully this time around the meds will help you. I am so sorry for your loss! Are they able to find a different medication that may help?
Do you have someone to talk to about your depression - a therapist?
I’m sure you are probably doing all or most of these but always a good reminder all around –
Exercise regularly & eat healthy foods.
Get a reasonable amount of sleep each night.
Find purpose. Put your focus on someone or something other than yourself.
Create a list of small goals to achieve, check them off as you accomplish them.
Journal your thoughts each night before bed to clear your mind.
Listen to music or watch a movie that makes you happy.
Do a creative activity as a way to express emotion or as a distraction.
Don’t isolate yourself, be around people –even if it means just going to a store.
Be present in the moment. Recognize and appreciate your surroundings and the people in your life.
Meditate to relax and refocus your thoughts (try a meditation app).
Day 345. Kind of got some crappy news, the people who help with my apartment do not want to prioritize me because I am not a resident of this county, so it will either be a very long time or maybe not even at all untill I get a apartment. I’m a little unsure of what to do, me and my counselor are going to try some different resources. If I can’t get a apartment I won’t be able to attend college, my other option is work but if I start working I have 30 days to leave the half way house and idk if that will give me enough time to find a apartment. Well just w.e happens I know I gotta stay open minded and accept what happens. Much love
Checking in.
I was walking to work this morning reflecting about the podcast I was listening to yesterday about boredom. The speaker was a sociologist. She was a bit less positive about boredom than I like to interpret it but it’s always good to get a wider perspective. She analyzed it from political caused boredom like when people don’t have a useful perspective to spend their time like refugees that are not allowed to work and there is no language courses in place. Or also some kind of structural boredom I suffered from in my old company when I was bored to death but wasn’t supposed to talk about it (spending time at work having nothing to do). She also wanted to decrease the stigma which comes with boredom like saying: ahhh, I’d like to be bored (looking down onto people who suffer from it) and mixing it up with not being stressed and relaxation. She also spoke about the difficulty to get into another mode after working too much: getting stressed from having nothing to do (also early sobriety). It was really interesting. Might think about it a bit more.
I hope everyone is having a sober evening.
Ah, I passed two French exams today, well I hope at least I passed both. Don’t know about the second. They love multiple choice questions and double negative questions which is really difficult to understand when french is only your third language
Checking in-
Been sober for 2 1/2 months. Still separated from my wife, but we are making progress. I bought the family a house. They move in within the next 2 months. I hope to live with them, but at this time, I’m just working on my sobriety.
Checking in day 4… the weekdays are fine for me…its the weekends where I end up misusing drugs and alcohol… i dont feel too nervous about this weekend as we’ve planned a lot of other activities. The last time I tried to stay sober I made 39 days. Im really nervous about when my partner will want to get wrecked again (he doesnt think we have a problem) …nervous that I will want to do it with him. He knows that I’ve been wanting to stop for a long time… if anyone has been in a similar sitution it would be great to hear from you. My biggest fear is that this will ultimately end our relationship. We have been together 12 years and hes still my best friend. My biggest hope is that I will get staying sober right and he will follow, or at least massively cut back on the weekend binges.
Hang in there and remember that only you can make your own choice to stay sober. Keep coming here when you’re having urges and make a solid plan for your time and activities this weekend. Check out this thread:
13 days AF. I am suffocating under this depression. I’m tired of having to be negative in my posts but that’s just my reality. I wake up and feel tired. I feel lonely and disconnected yes even when surrounded by people in a meeting. I don’t feel engaged or interested in anything. I feel gross in my body - my skin and hair feel oily, I feel ugly, like I want to get out of my skin. I am longing for mental obliteration but I know I can’t have it. I can’t concentrate. Food tastes gross. I think about the string of days ahead of me and I’m immediately overwhelmed and sad. I feel like everything inside of me is crumbling. I don’t know if I can stay sober feeling like this. It’s awful. I’m sorry again to be negative. I read these posts that sound so hopeful and happy and folks with long sobriety and it feels utterly foreign and impossible. I’m stuck on all my work projects and not making progress and worried I’m going to get fired. I’m too alone, too unhappy, this is why I was drinking. I think it can’t get worse, and then there’s a new emotional low.
If you ask me this is only the half truth. If that. The other way around is true as well: you’re alone and unhappy because you drink. Drinking isolates. Drinking might give temporary reprieve from our woes, but in the end it makes everything worse. So much so that in the end we see no escape but to drink ever more until we end up dead or institutionalized.
In recovery we have to go and look for the opposite of isolation which is connection. Which is extremely hard to do when we’re seriously depressed. Which by the look of it you are. Depression is made worse by alcohol (ab)use. Please don’t fall for the lies alcohol tells you. Try and treat your depression. Talk to a professional about it. Get help. Don’t go back to stupid alcohol! Big big hugs friend. You’re not alone
Why do I get the feeling that, this time, you’re just going to take this stretch all the way home!
Congratulations on surpassing 30 days.
Sorry I missed it. You are awesome!
You may not recognize it in this moment but you’re being incredibly strong through this pain. People don’t get acknowledged enough in society for just how hard it is and how strong we have to be to function with mental health and substance use issues. You have strung lots of days together and you’re doing the damn thing! I’m proud of you for not picking up when things are so damn hard and things feel on the hopeless side of the street. We are here to bolster you and offer the hope because we know it’s the truth. You can get past this. Use whatever energy you can summon up to explore your options for help. It can start with a trip to your general doctor to tell them what is up and they can start the process with you. If you’re in the USA you can look at resources, information and support through some of these links:
Sending you light and love, amiga. You can get through this without numbing yourself through alcohol, which will only start the process all over again and make things worse.
Hopefully this time around the meds will help you. I am so sorry for your loss! Are they able to find a different medication that may help?
Stroopwafels for everyone:smiley:
I second Rosa’s advice.
