Don’t put pressure on yourself to be a perfect dad all the time. Being around is the most important thing. And around doesn’t mean always physically, being in regular contact counts too. And if snappiness happens, admit and apologize. The most important thing in relationships is not that there is not conflict, it is how conflict is resolved.
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Glad to see you back! We all have times when we are not on our best game, but you recognized it and took action! That is recovery!
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Whoo hoo congratulations 
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I’m glad that you’re feeling better. You were missed. I was worried about you and also your son. I’m glad that confronted with the dreams that you were able to think clearly that you do not want to use. Also, that you do get support here and it’s important for your sobriety and mental health. I don’t know if you saw the post but @Scorpn was busy w her busy week and not here that much and had some of those very same thought processes… As they say ‘we are strong together’. Big hugs and lots of love.
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This is so true! I was here even daily, but barely. Not reading much, and not staying long. And i felt the addict mind creeping up. I can’t do it alone. I need all the help i can get.
I’m glad you’re here @Butterflymoonwoman and @Alisa and of course all of you other amazing people.
Together we can overcome our addictions one day at a time
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Checking in on day 708. Had an ok day. I planted lettuce and chard in the veggie garden and changed the oil on the car. I spilled the pan in the driveway and it was like the Exxon-Valdez was there (dated reference, sorry 
)
Still on step one of medication adjustment. Psych wants to do it verrrry slowly, but I can definitely feel a difference. No major issues. Thanks for checking in on me @JazzyS 
Hey congratulations @Hotic on 1600 that is very impressive, friend!
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That honestly means alot to me bcuz im sooo hard on myself that i dont see those qualities of perservance etc. Youve always been a huge support for me and i always appreciate what u have to say. Thanks for being here friend!
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24 days. Today was just a rest day. I had a very long day yesterday and came home exhausted; I came home, said my prayers, and crashed into my bed. Didn’t get out of bed today until 10:00 (I’m usually up between 5:00-6:00).
Where I’m at right now, emotionally, feels unfamiliar. I’m so used to being in “fix it” mode (fix whatever’s broken or catch up with whatever I’m supposed to be doing) that being in a space where my system is working (not perfectly of course but it’s predictable and it’s making progress) - being in that space is unfamiliar.
What do you do with yourself if nothing is falling apart? If you’re not in “fix it” mode?
It’s a weird feeling.
One step at a time 
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Awe Alisa, thank you! 
I appreciate that. I never ever want to worry anyone on here tho. My son is doing well (his brainstem tumor is stable by the way, im not sure if i mentioned that… so I am super happy with his most recent MRI results) and i am doing better now also. It was such a weird feeling. My funk was a very subtle one. Not one that sort of hits me hard like a ton of bricks. It had more to do with toxic thoughts. Interestingly enough i was able to actually sort of realize what i was thinking and therefore do something about it. But one of those toxic thoughts was, “U really dont need TS anyway. No one will even notice ur gone. U can do this recovery thing on ur own”. And i know that isnt true. I know i wouldnt be as far along as i am without you all. Thats a fact! How are you doing? Hope ur well
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Thank you my friend. Hugs to you!!! 
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@nastya_is_fighting So glad to hear that you are doing better. Happy that you were able to get out with a friend and enjoy some milkshakes
@Catmama23 So impressed with you every day. You are really doing an amazing job with handling everything and focusing on your sobriety. It’s ok to be selfish (I really don’t think you are being so imo) than have your emotions burst and actually break you. YEAH YOU! 
@Private50 Besides AA have you looked into Recovery Dharma or Refuge recovery? Might help spice things up so to speak if just going to AA is becoming mundane… Want to make sure your resources are covered :wink
@Hotic – very nice! That’s an impressive number
@Butterflymoonwoman You were missed Dana. I am sorry that your addict mind tried to trick you into thinking you wouldn’t be or that you didn’t need a support system. Sucks that this demon is still so active and can find its way if we create even the smallest opening. Grateful that you were able to see it for what it was and not give in. I’ve said it before but you my friend are a warrior. Be strong and do know that we are all here for you as you have been for all of us. So happy to hear that your sons tumor is stable. Not sure if you mentioned but are they able to attempt shrinking it or keeping it from growing / spreading? Do let me know if I’m being overly nosy.
@icebear so glad that they are being so careful and weaning you off verrrry slowly. Sounds like you had an exciting day – hope you were able to get that oil cleaned up
Checking in on Saturday evening - it’s been a weird day. I didn’t get much work done and did take 2 long naps. Woke up in a bit of a fog from a weird dream that I can’t remember and wasn’t able to shake of the feeling. Much better now. Spent a lot of time on this site (in between sleeping). I didnt’ get to take myself out to the movies like I had planned and amazingly enough I am super tired and ready for bed again. So I’ll be turning in soon – totally sober – another day conquered! WE ROCK!
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the fact that you were able to stop yourself and recognize how had of a decision is great
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glad you’re back, I’m so proud of you for staying sober during such a difficult time, I’m glad your son is stable
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Hey there! How are you? Haven’t come across any of your posts in a while.
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Days
223 substance free
140 self harm free
Hope y’all have a good night
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I’m alright. haven’t been posting much, just waiting for my surgery to be done with
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day 445 of no self harm
today was an okayish Saturday with my family. had a few moments of wow they hate me but also was part of their conservations today. although typing it out I realize that’s a pretty sad thing.
having my gallbladder removed Monday I am so ready to have this thing out
hope y’all are having a good night/day
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I see a milestone! 
