Day 1,074 clean and sober today. It feels like my depression is getting way worse, day 5 on meds again. Can’t sleep for more then 2 hours at a time still and I’m exhausted. I am going to give it a month to see if it balances out but I’m miserable and have been thinking about drinking and using and it’s been a long time since I’ve had those thoughts. The SI’s have almost been constant now and I have no energy. Sucks. Have a good day I love you guys 
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It can definitely take a few weeks for the anti depression meds to actually make you feel better. Alot of cases they make you feel worse at first. If it starts to feel too overwhelming call the doc though. Hope this gets better really soon. 
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I’m glad you were able to work from home - that will make things a little easier to deal with. Sorry that your mom’s condition is causing your anxiety attacks.
Hopefully you’ll be able to work on yourself today as well. I do hope that your day gets better - stay strong.
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Man Robbie - I am so sorry that the meds are taking time to kick in and causing such misery in the process. I hope that things do even out soon enough for you my friend. It does suck that the stupid urges to drink / use creep back in after all this time. Stay strong brother - you are kicking ass and it will get better.
I agree with @Jasty2 - it does get worse before it gets better but do talk to a doctor if this persists for too long.
Sending you comfort and strength my friend. Hope your day gets better! 
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Thank you a lot.
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Hey i know how you feel with med changes,im about to undergo some on friday so a little scared , ill keep in check with you and likewise as sounds we will be on a similar journey, we got this! 
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Check in day 105. I took walk yesterday around a lake nearby. It kicked my butt. 3 miles. Then slept for 15 hrs. Proud of myself tho for getting out of house and doing it!!
Finally tomorrow morning i should find out what kind of heart blockage i have. Knowledge is good…right!!
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chilling watching fast n furious collection
Pain bad and was sick 
last nite any more I’ll be ringing 111 
Happy sober Monday everyone
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Hello all,
Checking in on Day 1,759 Sober.
God Bless!
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Hey congrats on the 6 months!!! Thats awesome
So sorry your pain level is so high and that its making you sick. Sending you healung vibes my friend- hope you start to feel better soon
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Day 99 AF af!!
Checking in sober and feeling free but sucks that I still think I special.
Holiday Monday here , gladly take some needed rest, still not properly sleeping 
Ride the craves friends!
I’ll lock in for triple digits tomorrow and otherwise go with the flow .
Have a great week friends 
Group unity and fellowship JFT 
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Something struck me about relapse this morning.
We often say to someone that has relapsed…that they might need a new tool in the toolbox.
My thought is very similar to that, but maybe one of our tools or all tools just need to be used more often. Nothing real profound😀
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Day 80 and proud. So glad I’m still here. That’s all. Hope you all have amazing days. Keep going
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have a good day/night where ever you guys are … stay with it, keep believing
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Checking in sober
Girls day with my mum was so nice
and relaxing yesterday.
Work today was just…
I need a way out of this system.
One day I will have to choose my health before this job. I will ask my boss for a agreement tomorrow again. They don’t want to fire me, as i am good, even if I am pissed. Siiiigh
Relaxing for few minutes and will head to the lifesaver training soon. Healthy dinner afterwards.
Hugs 
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80 days is great!!
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Checking in.
I need to get this out as I think it can be helpful. It is for me and just realized it.
A decision was made today which basically said that I won’t get what I wanted or asked for and I stood my grounds. Without further background information one could say, how stupid. This is not logical you insisting on certain points. I did and they disagreed. And so did I. And I realized two things: I can cope with some dissonant feelings inside of myself. There is no clear feeling telling me that I am completely right. But there is a feeling that says: I am like this. Stubborn and it’s okay.
Second observation: never had I managed the situation as I did if I was still drinking away these conflicting feelings.
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Hi everyone I think I’m going to relapse. I just bought minis at target. I had a physical this morning and found out I’m so much unhealthier than I thought. I’m not fat-phobic but I’m at a weight I never ever thought I’d be at and my BMI is in the obese range. On top of that, no one told me I had to fast so they couldn’t do any bloodwork and I have to do that a different day. I’m hugely afraid of doctors and it was hard enough to make this appointment and I can’t imagine I’ll be able to follow through with the others. I know alcohol is awful but at this point I feel like things are awful with or without it and I just don’t care. I’ll never be able to turn things around and I’ll never be able to manage my emotions successfully. This past week has been so hard and I just keep waiting for a break and one never comes. I feel ugly and hopeless and extremely depressed. I just need some relief. I don’t care anymore. I’m sorry for letting you all down.
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