Hang in there. It’s way more depressing being drunk and hating yourself.
Give it time. And keep saying ‘hi’. If you need advice from anyone about anything just ask. It’s a journey. ODAAT 
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Thank you 
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I’m kinda in the same boat. Made it 59 days and now I’m day 4 again. Good luck
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29 days AF. Staying sober today means tomorrow I will receive my 30 day chip and I will work to make sure it’s the last one I ever get (this will be my third). I’ve been pushing myself to go to evening meetings and what a gift it’s been! A great chance to meet new people and spread my sobriety wings. I tend to want to isolate in the evening (and I also get really tired) but if I just push myself to go then I’m always glad I did. I am however very tired today so I will rest this evening. Rest is important, can’t always go go go.
Yesterday morning my brain started thinking “hey I’ve got the whole day off, I could go get alcohol now and drink for the next 8 hours.” As soon as I had that thought I called my sponsor and went to a meeting. I went to another meeting in the evening too. I can’t control the thought but I CAN control my action. Help is there if I need or want it.
Grateful for sobriety and for fellow folks in recovery like you! 
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talk it out love - we are here to listen
So many lovely possibilities in a sober life – possibly put on some stand up comedy on your netflix to get your happy neurons fired up.
are you getting proper nutrition / hydration?
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I’m drinking fluids, but just can’t eat. Tired but wired. Can’t nap. Want to do more, but still feeling so weak even letting dogs out. I just wish I’d never picked up the bottle again.
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Many of us can resonate with this. It always gets worse. Glad you are on the mend.
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Listen to your body and get the rest you need. Hold on to the feeling when the urges flare up. I know I needed a lot of rest when i first started my sobriety. I’m glad you have your mom to look in on you and provide support in real life. Hang in there - your body and mind will sync up with energy levels.
do your best to get fluids in and hopefully some nutrition - this will help you with regaining your energy.
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Day 
I remember listening this song before my last surgery I had. I lied before. I am afraid of things. Narcosis and being turned off / collapsing is one of my fears. That is probably the reason I never ever collapsed. I had so many terrible panic attacks / so many beatings / lots of blood loss / I never turned off. I was always too afraid.
Beside this song / another source I got strength from was Jordan Petersons book / and a chapter about (((Garden of Eden)))
Every person has his own Garden of Eden inside / and his own Evil Serpent / But GOD / Creator / created the serpent in different sizes for each and everyone / the size manageable enough to be beatable. I surrendered / and accepted my fears / pain / everything / I knew it will all go through me / but be enough for me to sustain / and my fear was gone / I felt warmth and love.
I have more fears. But being beaten by alcohol addiction is not one of them. I know I will make this one.
The problem is that I don’t even struggle too much / enough. The problem is I don’t give my 100% to it.
And being here / Checking in everyday / while not even believing it / not giving my 100%
It feels wrong. So I will temporally stop my daily check-ins and will be back when I will be ready to give my 99% I never ever give 100% to anything.
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Checking in, sober.
It’s kinda therapeutic sitting in a huge station watching people. People being human. No added layer. No bling bling. 
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Good to hear!!! Love the positive attitude you’ve had throughout most of this journey I’ve experienced with you. I actually have a day off today so trying to enjoy that… me and ky are about to take a much needed walk at the lake and just reflect and relax… wishing you a good day and happy vibes
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not sure what you meant by bling bling, but people express them selves very differently. Learns in very different ways / Finds in very different way. See / Percept / Feel / There are artistic ones / creative ones / or shy ones / silent ones. People tend to react or resonate with a different shapes that is not vibrating from their inside. You said / added layer / why is it that way ? Added ? Maybe it is just ((( it’s there ))) .
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Thanks Billy! Appreciate you saying so.
Have a wonderful time relaxing and reflecting with Ky by the lake - sounds absolutely perfect. Thank you for the positive vibes my friend!
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I am an older person also who just got her license!! Not weird just different LOL…but i feel weird about it too 
You go girl!
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Hello everyone, I think I am day 6 today. Interestong how I am not sure how I feel about the tracker, but at the same time I appreciate seeing other people putting their time together.
I just had some triggering conversations, so I wanted to post here. They were not bad, of course sad and I just revealed to a woman in our community that my sister was murdered. I am not ashamed of this, and I know that some people do know becayse my nephew went to scjool where the staff are aware but i have not told anyone in a social situation. Her son also has a MH challenge, and we were discussing frustrations with the system here and how challenging it is for parenrs/guardians to get the proper help and how they are very much responsibilized for the care of the child - yet cannot find and/or afford services needed.
Revealing details to people is being vulnerable, and I do not consider myself someone who keeps secrets but I am a private person. I am sure I do have a level of trust issues, done quite a bit of work there but someone who I did love at some point and who I called my brother-in-law murdered my sister and well, I know thats gonna leave a mark. Also talking about things that frustrate me around my nephews care and the lack of support for a chuld with his level of need and his experience also triggers me, becayse I have had to fight tooth and nail for help we have recieved. I do not want to be in resentment or for it to undo me & this wad where reading about how justifiable anger isnt for us alcoholics didnt stick with me at this point in my life: I do not want it to consume me, but with all due respect I believe its important for me to feel my anger and grow through it, and use it and then continue to process it before I just…I dont know. I do not want to be in self-pity, but I have to be sad. An interesting balance there too.
Anyway, I know I get triggered by this emotional feeling in me so I wanted to write it out for you all. I dont feel like drinking right when or after I get triggered, but somewhere within the 24 hours. Going to sit with my anger, the feeling in my stomach and try to see what is under there…maybe get in touch with that. I know shes a sobbing mess.
The sun is shining, making water melon juice & pasta for suppper to have ready before I go get the kods so we can go to the beach for a bit. Want to be a good mom, good wife & good to me. Its ikportant for me to appreciate my children, and husband and not fall into them to ignore myself. I have to be me, find me and learn to love all the parts of me. Xo. Another 24 lets do this xo.
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Thank you so much @JazzyS and everyone who has taken the time to answer.
I do have a plan in place. We recently joined the gym which is going well, and I just did the first run on couch to 5k. I am a little nervous as my chronic fatigue syndrome could mean a crash but think I have paced successfully. Feeling so proud of myself right now that I can’t spoil this feeling with a drink. I haven’t run in probably 25 years!
Now going to spend the rest of the evening reading some of the suggested links etc.
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Thank you for saying that, Jasmine. I think I need to chill and stop worrying about everything. Easier said than done, of course. 
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I think I did 4 months the first time I slipped. I guess it just focussed me to see I didn’t want to keep drinking. I hate drunk me. Focus on what you do and don’t want to be and keep going. 
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Day 7
Evening checkin.
Back home from evening activitiy (2650 m swim 
) without buying booze on my way back home!
There was this little voice hammering…
I can handle it… it would be fun… ha come on…
First time since one week, but I shout out loud in my car:
FUCK ALCOHOL 
… and drove streight home!
Much love 
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