Congratulations @Juli1 on pushing through such disappointment!
“What would we women be like if there where no men in the world?” “We all would be fat and happy!!!” 
Glad you made it!!!
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Good shares posted today. Thanks you all. Nice AA meeting tonight, feeling the support. Day 
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Really appreciate this post 
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57 days alcohol free. Staying the course. Here’s Smokey! He hurt his tail and now it sticks out sideways but he’s feeling much better 
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Day 2 not vaping. Holy shit my cravings are fierce. I didnt vape today and ended up treating myself to tacos and a nap! All day ive been practicing tips ive heard others give. I check the counter when the craving pains are bad.
I am not a smoker. I dont want to start over…keep building hours. Flex that sobriety muscle.
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Melanie, congrats on your recovery, 5 years without booze is no easy feat.
I always appreciate the honesty of your shares, and your raw vulnerability. I see you. 
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Day 297
Looking forward to day 300.
Odaat
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Day 4
I drank saturday and only craved a bit last night. Drinking saturday felt like a chore, like i wanted to empty the booze and get it over with.
I finally took the recycling to the recycling place. I got myself a little treat for that, a milkshake. Have spent too much on alcohol. Need to buy shower curtains. Need to do a lot of things but at work im coming home drained and just getting in bed.
Coming up on 5 months of no weed so ill give myself that.
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Day 535
Havent cheked in, in a couple days. Thought i should tonight. Recovery wise i am good! No cravings to use or thoughts really of any kind. But i am really strugging in other areas. I guess the main area being my health/weight. Its gotten sooo bad. I cant seem to find my footing in having a healthy lifestyle. Today i just gave up trying. I have seriously been struggling with food and my weight (either extremely under weight or over weight) for probably as long as i had been in active addiction… if not longer. I am sooo tired of this. But… i am grateful that i am not using drugs. Grateful for my family and what God has done for me. Its just my health and issues around body image and struggles with self love and acceptance, having been weighing on my mind and effecting my daily living. There is SO much intertwined here. Anyway, im glad im apart of such an incredible community of amazing people. TS has been such a source of strength and support for me. Thank u for having me here 
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Day 32
Thanks all for the well-wishes! I didn’t do my check-in yesterday 
, but I’m good. Happy to be sober. Spending some quality time with family and my boyfriend. Overindulged in food yesterday, so I’ve done two half hour walks today and am eating a lot less. Tracking meals helps me from binging.
I’m settling in for the night and just gonna try to naturally wind down and go to bed a little earlier than I have been.
Stay strong sober peeps!
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Have you ever confronted your mother about how she treated you? It seems like a lot is bottled up and you are still afraid of her.
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@olivia loving how much time you have put into your sobriety. Grateful that you were able to remind yourself of the hollowness our addiction provides – no value added. You are doing great – keep strong!
@zzz long work and work outs – I do hope you are giving yourself time to relax and unwind. Well done on your 18 days! Hope you are able to wake tomorrow rejuvenated
@amy30 Love the tattoo Amy – impressed that you were able to get same day. I am a huge fan of spontaneity. WOW – so impressed at how you were able to return the prosecco. I love this realization and yes you can stay sober forever! Glad you had such an amazing day
@starlight14 So very happy for you Kelly. I am so impressed and in awe – love that you were able to face your fears and have a wonderful afternoon with Sophia. So happy to hear that you are going to continue swimming for yourself. YEAH GIRL!
@holysquid I am so sorry that you are experiencing health issues. I can totally relate to the frustration of having these issues and not being able to figure out the underlying cause. I do hope that you are able to get some answers soon. I had to go outside of my network to find a doctor that would listen to me – not sure if you are able to do something similar in your area. Don’t give up – keep searching for the answer. Sending you healing vibes and comfort my friend. AND damn – I do hope you get that boiler fixed tomorrow.
@catmancam I’m so sorry that you are still not feeling right. When do you see your therapist next? Are you able to chat via email? Grateful that you will be attending your two courses tomorrow – hopefully the nature one will help ease your symptoms. I do hope you start feeling better soon.
@anon53116147 Man what a BS reaction. Glad you kept your cool and yeah I also hope that this was a one time incident.
@bomdhil I do hope that your sleep will improve. Have you tried anything to help – melatonin, lavender scented infusers, hot tea before bed? 1 month and 1 week – way to go Thomas! I hope that I do not have any issues with gluten – I have to give up for at least 3 months and then see with other testing – still trying to figure out the underlying issue… I am hoping that I will be able to eat my breads again (LOL). The trip to India is just a thought right now – would love to go but I will not be able to handle the flight.
@mewmcmew WOW Crystal – It seems like you’ve been through a roller coaster of emotions. I love that you were able to cry it out and hug / love yourself. Grateful for your therapy sessions and hopefully they are able to help you unravel what you’ve been holding onto. We are here for you my friend! Sending you hugs and love. 
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That’s sort of messed up. Are they not playing with a full deck?
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How are you doing since u posted this? Im super proud of u for quitting!
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Well no matter how you might be feeling I have always thought you are such a brave woman to have persevered through so much.
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Awe… Thank you so much for ur comment friend. Hugs! After reading ur comment, it somehow made me look at the bigger picture and brought more gratitude into my life. I may be feeling crappy now, but in the grand scheme of things, things today are not that bad at all! Thru everything ive been thru in my past, this issue with my weight and health is something that can be changed and worked on. Thanks for reminding me of how far im come 
i appreciate that. Uv always been a inspiration to me and such a big support. I appreciate u!
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@cueball8n9 thank you for the shout out – I am grateful to be on this journey with you! Love that you are closing in on 6 months!
FLEX on CJ – this is the beginning of the rest of your addiction free life! Loving this for you.
@minatasha Well done on making it to day 4. It’s a good sign when drinking starts feeling like a chore – I do hope you think of this when the urges arise. What else are you doing to help keep you sober? Are you attending any meetings / do you have a sponsor / have you changed out your daily routine and or friends? So much support, love and guidance here – hope to see you checking in more often.
@butterflymoonwoman OH Dana – we love you – so happy you are here and sorry that you are struggling in this area. I am very happy that you are clean and sober. I do have faith that you will find your footing with health/weight issue as well. I know how frustrating this can be. You are just now getting the footing for your recovery – finding out what tools you need daily and which you can rely on when the urges hit. You are finding your connections with the HP and getting a morning routine down. You have a healthy and active lifestyle and I know you will find a way to create and keep an healthy day to day routine. Don’t give up love – you are worth fighting for
Checking in on Wednesday night …
224 days alcohol and weed free
639 days cigarette free
I was not able to shake the exhaustion today. Did get my 10k steps in (not sure how). The appointment with my in-network doctor went surprisingly well today - was able to get the referrals i needed and then some. She is now on board with no medications and working with me to find the cause. I am now off to bed — have a wonderful addiction free day / evening my friends — sending much love
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Oh gosh, that sounds exhausting. You did the best you could! Progress, not perfection.
The relationship with parent(s) is hardly ever straightforward. There are layers, twists and so much history. My mom had strong hold of me and my sister when we were growing up. It was dysfunctional and unhealthy. Someone told me I should confront my mom about the things she hurt me in my childhood. That advice sent me to a tailspin that landed me in therapy. Knowing my mom, I would probably have destroyed our entire relationship, if I had listened to the advice. Instead, I spent the next 5-6 years working through my issues with a professional helper. I was able to “cut the cord” and put boundaries in place regarding our relationship. I’m still not close with her and she still pushes my buttons but I’m able to regulate my feelings and I can love her.
Now, that was my story. Some people do need to confront their parents about their wrong doings. You just really need to be sure that it will benefit the relationship. I’m not so familiar with the AA concept of making amends, but if you’re really struggling with what to say, then I suggest that you write a letter that is not sent. That way you can release those bottled up feelings in a safe environment. I did that so many times.
All the best. I know it’s difficult but it’s doable.
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1516
More rain today. Well it’s not 40+ degrees. And who knows, maybe September will be nice and I’ll be able to travel around on my bike a bit during my holidays. For now it’s work. Slept OK. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
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Had a big wobble yesterday but managed to stay clean and sober with the help of the wonderful people on here. Have a great day everyone.
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