@mewmcmew I love the idea of taking your time and writing out a letter. I do hope it provides you with some relief and letting go of the decision. Wishing you the best with this.
Love this Dana – so glad to see you are doing better today. Hope you keep having a fantastic day
I’m glad that you are getting a different approach – hoping that this means different positive results. Hang in there – I know its not easy at times but do give it a fair shot. Glad that you can still check in with us – great to hear from you Rob @arsinoe Well done on your 4 days my friend – I do hope the tea helped calm you down. Maybe try some deep breathing and / or some meditation? Hang in there – the beginning will have some bumps but sobriety is worth it
Yes Mitch – you are and you do. Welcome back to day 0 – sending strength to keep moving forward and adding on days!
Sounds like a lovely and fun time – glad you are able to enjoy this time with your aunt. @icebear I am so sorry Drew – I do hope going to the meeting helped. We are here if you need to talk about anything.
SO lovely Julia – glad that you are home safely and will enjoy a lovely sober evening.
Checking in on Thursday late afternoon - Its been an interesting day. I am super exhausted but pushing through regardless. Did find i do have issues with my spine and did get PT referral for that and will see what else i can do. I will be looking at a condo this afternoon that went to sale today - trying to keep my options open. I did have a few smoking weed urges today - just wanted to feel numb and light. I know this too shall pass and leaning on my DOC’s will not help anything. I am working on my positivity. Deep breathes and pushing forward. Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending much love
I have someone i check on now and then.(i can’t move forward if i dont fully put this person(people) more into my accountability team) I’ll be honest with you, i’m a person who needs ‘covenant eyes’ installed on my phone but i’m afraid my wife will get the bill and here comes the questions and worse. I jumped online and got a few more tools today that will prove to be very helpful. I’ve turned my phone basically into messaging only today. Should have done this a long time ago. I can message and listen to audiobooks. That’s my penalty for this latest setback. No shows, No fun stuff, just a phone. Books is my only recreation going forward on my phone. I put intense effort into things in my life that really doesn’t matter. I want that same energy to the thing that could cost me everything and has already cost me so much. i’m in my 40’s. I got exposed as a 12 year old and the real war started in my adult years. It’s been a long long struggle. But i’m hopeful. I am hopeful. Starting my ‘dopamine detox’ for a few weeks to get some more traction. Good coping strategies and learning to be more present and less selfish. Sorry for the long reply, i’m a mess and it just comes out in waves!
I’m grateful for the long reply - you needed to get all this out and we are here to listen.
I do think you have learned a lot from this set back …
So much great positive stuff in your reply - I too am very Hopeful for your recovery. I have faith that you can kick this habit if you truly put in the effort (which i can see that you are doing) - glad you do have someone to check in with (may try to increase the frequency).
At least they found some issues and now maybe you can get to the root of it and get some relief. A good physical therapist is worth their wait in gold.
Thank you to everyone that checks up on me, likes my posts, makes me feel so supported. There are definite triggers in the summer holidays. I need a lot of space I have discovered. I am finding ways to protect that though as it is important.
Went to the gym this evening, think that is about 6 weeks now of every other day or so. Am enjoying it so much. I feel like I am changing and building a new, sober life.
I hope everyone else is ok. So sorry to those struggling.
I’m struggling and want to scream/cry in frustration. What I thought was depression and anxiety is likely ADHD but whatever I call it, it’s a constant war with my brain. I have work to do but can’t make myself do it. And then feel guilty and ashamed for not getting it done. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow and I’m hoping she can prescribe something to help with the ADHD symptoms. Therapy wasn’t very helpful today. It’s tempting to go get something to drink as this frustration with myself is physically painful. I’d go for a walk except it’s storming. Maybe some ice cream.
Ice cream sounds good. I am so sorry, I can’t imagine how difficult it is to be at war with your own brain. I really hope you find some peace now, and the psychiatrist can help.
@Bomdhil thank you 🩵 I’m so glad you got some sleep @anon53116147 I hope you dont have to see those guys much, that was awful of them! @mewmcmew I’m sorry about the emotional time youve been having, but I love how you dealt with it in a compassionate, loving, and kind way 🩵 @Catmama23 hey Smokey @JazzyS thank you 🩵 she is off next week, so the Monday after that. So proud that you managed to push through your urges today @SoberWalker oh noo I hope you feel better ASAP 🩵 @Timetochange congrats on 40 days @Mel6 welcome congrats on double digits keep telling that voice ‘no’, it’s all lies. @MrsOdh sounds like you had such a great time! I hope you manage to agford the tickets for Halloween @SelfLove_42 sending strength 🩵 I can relate and I’m trying to fight discouragement too with my binge-eating disorder.
@Kdog enjoy your Alaskan cruise whichever package you decide on. It’s great that your wife would prefer to stay sober @Brl81 welcome back congrats on double digits @Mtrav0040 welcome back @icebear sending you strength 🩵 I hope the meeting helps @JennyH congrats on 30 days and for the consistency with the gym
1088 days no alcohol.
553 days no cocaine.
68 days no vape.
I went to the shop last night and “successfully” only bought 1 pack of mango and 1 pack of crisps, I also bought a wrap, all okay.
Then, shortly after, I walked back to the shop again, to buy the 4 cream doughnuts I saw on my first trip, ate them all, fell into a deep sugar coma sleep until midday today! And my phone was on my chest and not on charge, so I didnt get my alarms nor the phone call from my friend who had offered to call to check I was awake, so I completely missed the course I was really looking forward to, but it’s going to be on next term so hopefully I can get a place again then.
I did my morning routine, then attended this afternoon’s online course, which was very relaxing. Then I fought through my anxiety and managed to make myself drive to collect meds.
I’ve just got back from a hair cut, ready for my first meet-up with the new group I’ve just joined called Safe Soulmates, it’s for neurodivergent and disabled people who are looking for friendship or romance, they do interviews and get 2 character references, before you can become a member, and they have tailored tomorrow’s meet-up for me, only inviting soulmates who are at a similar stage to me in regards to anxiety and confidence. There will be 4-6 of us, and we are meeting for a 1.5hr walk, in a city an hour away from me, so I’m getting a train, and one of the facilitators is meeting me at the station. I’m excited, but absolutely terrified!
I’m doing ok @LeeHawk thanks for always supporting me. Trying to work a daily recovery program and for the most part I’m succeeding in staying close to other alcoholics and keeping up with my sponsor. The biggest hurdle I’m facing is my mental health. I’m in the process right now of trying to find the right set of meds and it’s hard because I want relief NOW but I know this is a necessary part of the healing journey. I have moments where I just want to give up because it’s so freaking hard. But I remember how I feel after a binge and I never ever want to go back to that place. But I’m not where I want to be… I’m in the in-between place. I hope you are doing well I still love this thread and read it often, I just don’t post as much because I don’t have much to say and I feel like a broken record, “I’m so depressed, blah blah”…
@JazzyS I tested everything but the Lavender thing. I hope to try it now you recommend it to me.
I know India, and I understand you. The trip for me was so so long! And that’s hard for me too
Have been feeling good the past couple of days after a sluggish start to the week no cravings so far this week which is always good was training tonight and am now watching a bit of telly relaxing
I made plans for a sleepover with my niece and nephew for Saturday night so that’s something to look forward to for the weekend hoping to get in a bit of hiking aswell
Good to hear from you @Rob11. I can imagine fellow clients going on your nerves. Hope you can get some space to relax. Guess you have hard work to do over there but pretty sure it’s worth it!
Day 3 check in. Repeating these single digit days over and over. My own doing, I know. Not sure why that 7-10 day range is my weakness. I mentioned at AA meeting yesterday I was proud of them all with 5mos, 2yrs, 10yrs and so on, then next guy said it’s just the same for me not to drink today as all of them. Sounds simple, I like that.
Wish you all another sober day
Looking forward to some relief soon.
hope everyone is doing well!
🩵 I’m so glad you got some sleep 
whichever package you decide on. It’s great that your wife would prefer to stay sober 
thanks for always supporting me. Trying to work a daily recovery program and for the most part I’m succeeding in staying close to other alcoholics and keeping up with my sponsor. The biggest hurdle I’m facing is my mental health. I’m in the process right now of trying to find the right set of meds and it’s hard because I want relief NOW but I know this is a necessary part of the healing journey. I have moments where I just want to give up because it’s so freaking hard. But I remember how I feel after a binge and I never ever want to go back to that place. But I’m not where I want to be… I’m in the in-between place. I hope you are doing well 
