Welcome back, Mitch.
It’s so nice to see you.
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Thanks jazzy. Yes sort of. Mondays and Wednesdays I still have group, tomorrow there is a.a over at the campus, I’ve been going over a little bit. But tomorrow I’ll hit the meeting
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Day 52.5! I made it. I’m feeling better after seeing my friend though I didn’t listen and go to a meeting just seeing him made me a little better. Almost day 60! I’m keeping a promise to myself and my cousin. No more going off the deep end.
I also go see my doctor for the first time in sept to try and get my depression and body under more control. Baby steps are better than no steps right?!?
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Keep fighting one day at a time! Congrats on 52.5 days!
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You too, Kevin. Proud to see you kicking butt, man.
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Day 536
Today was a very laid back day. I was able to get that errand done and then once home, me and the family just relaxed. My husband surprised me today by doing a tattoo on my right ankle! It was a very spontaneous thing bcuz i picked out a design 30 min before getting it done lol Its a butterfly and a heart which for me represents self love and my journey/transformation to self love. Ill post it in the tattoo thread in a bit. But i really like it and really appreciate my hubby doing it for me 
Recovery wise - im good! Didnt do my morning routine as planned but will do that tmrw
Health wise - Did not too bad today. I ate healthier options. Didnt overeat and tried to be mindful when I did eat. I found a book that Id like to buy off of Amazon which is a DBT book but related to emotional/binge eating. Looks like a good book and i will see if i have the extra funds next pay to buy it
Thats it for now i think. Looking forward to some self care and good sleep tonight. Hope everyone has a great day/evening! 
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A wise person said to me that despite my being unable to see it, she still saw a lot of growth in me. She said that to me sometime over a year ago. I was recovering from a relapse at that time. I didn’t have stable sobriety. She knew that and said that to me. And she was right.
It’s easy for me to get caught into that sobriety game; thinking that I’m not getting better because I can’t stay clean. But believe me when I say this to you. You are growing. You are improving. You are learning.
And I believe that God will complete what He started in you. And that you’ll be able to experience long term sobriety someday. I really do believe this. Keep growing. Don’t give up. And don’t lose hope.
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Happy 300 days! 
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Day 298
I’ve got to figure out how to relax. This is my reflection for the day.
Hope y’all are doing ok. 
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@binx Great job on your sober time and glad to see you so active here. How is your son doing?
Congrats on your 30 days – I am excited that for the positive changes and the healthy sober life – keep up the amazing work
How are you doing Karen? I am so sorry that you are experiencing such depression and anxiety. I do hope that the ice cream helped. I do hope your psychiatrist is able to help you tomorrow.
@katiee glad you are hopeful love – we are here if you want to talk about what’s making you sad. I do hope your day got better.
@catmancam damn I’m sorry that your therapist is off and you have to wait 1.5 weeks. Sorry you missed your courses today – I do hope that you are able to sign up next term. So excited for your meet up group – that sounds absolutely awesome – hope you had a wonderful time.
I’m grateful that you did post here – you have been missed. Sorry that you are dealing with depression and am so proud that you remain to fight for your sobriety. Glad you are keeping up with your sponsor and keeping active in your recovery program. We are here for you friend!
@bomdhil I do hope the lavender helps. If you don’t have a diffuser – a dab on your pillow may also help. Man you are kicking ass with 38 days! I do hope your sleep gets better for you soon.
@bt824 great job on day 3. Glad that you are attending meetings and getting irl support. For your 7-10day mark maybe buckle down on your meetings and make plans to keep yourself busy until you get past that point. Keep strong my friend – you can overcome this addiction
This is awesome – I do hope that your doctor is able to help – baby steps for sure!
@kevineskay Great job on your 300 days! Keep up with your positive attitude and hard work.
Checking in on Thursday night
225 days weed and alcohol free
640 days cigarette free
It was an exhausting day. Did manage to get 10k steps in but no other activity. The condo was dated and not worth the asking price - oh well, good thing im not in a rush. Feel like crap that i am not able to even celebrate with dinner for my brothers bday (my lame limited diet). I have a ultra sound scheduled for 9 am tomorrow - need to drink 36 oz of water at 8 and not pee till after the procedure - i am a bit nervous that i will screw up the test with my weak bladder. Well - i am going to try and get some rest - wishing everyone a beautiful addiction free evening / day - sending much love
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Thank you. And @JazzyS too. I couldn’t sneak it past anyone. Yes, today marks day 300.
This is a very significant milestone for me. It’s been a long road. So it’s nice to see myself experience a gift like this. TS played a significant role in my journey. So thank you all.
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Checking in. Long day, going to bed SAF. Have a good night guys
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Made it through day 783. It was a bit of a weird day. Kinda got hit with something this afternoon. Maybe because I stepped down finally to the lowest dose of antidepressant on Monday. I was feeling super disconnected and out of it. I attended an online meeting and then took a hot shower and bought some Lacroix. Feeling a bit better now. Glad to go to bed sober. Much love.
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Day 8. Some stressors last night but never considered reaching for a beer. A win, I’m building up some small wins day by day. Post holiday blues are in full effect and the weather locally is still terrible. I think my summer is over and hibernation is taking hold for many people. I’m not ready for that yet. I need the outdoors and exercise as one of my go to, get out of jail cards.
My anxiety remains under control which I’m very happy about. I feel like I’m moving forward in some areas. Baby steps but I’ll take them.
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1518
Reconnecting with my family in the last weeks brings up, well, family stuff in me. And no coincidence that it coincides with my dad coming up in therapy a lot lately. All rather triggering.
Memories I thought were lost are coming back. Feelings in my body are making a reappearance too. Feelings of anxiety, of feeling lost and alone, of wanting to avoid situations and persons, of feeling inadequate, of wanting to crawl back in my shell and forget about it all.
All part of the process I guess. These feelings are part of me and they are never going to disappear totally. But I can recognise them these days, and process them and work on them. And make them smaller and see them for what they are. See them as the product of how I grew up and how I tried to deal with life for decades. Deal with life through hiding in substance abuse and addiction. So glad to have freed myself from that.
So I have the privilege to go and speak to my therapist this morning and work on more of the shit inside me. And I have you all as my brothers and sisters. Together on this road of Discovery. There’s no need nor urge to go back to my old ways. Drinking and smoking and all the other stuff I did lost its allure long ago. Never going back again. All that just put me deeper in the hole.
Everybody has as good a day as you all can. Sober and clean. We’re in this together. Much love.
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Day 33
Didn’t sleep well. Woke up very grumpy. Was supposed to hang out with my boyfriend today, but he was exhausted too from work, so we’ll wait till Saturday.
Drank some coffee, which helped. Did chores, grocery shopping, laundry, dog grooming etc…
The lady hormones are definitely hitting me hard, so I’m a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, which is nothing new. Good times.
Saturday, I start my new antidepressant at a low dose for a week. My anxiety has been up this week, but not terribly so. Walking is still a big help.
Might check out a SMART recovery meeting on Monday evening (the ONLY one in my area lol). Still planning to go to another AA meeting either Fri/Sat/Sun. But I’m still exploring how to best support my sobriety.
OK, I am pooped. Time for sleep 
!
Nighty night!
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Happy Friday Everyone!
Off to the gym before work and plan on doing a bit of a clearance in the house over the weekend. I’m not a hoarder but I’m looking at things that never get used (Blu-ray’s, clothes, CDs) and thinking why the hell do I keep them? So that’s all getting boxed up and off to a charity shop tomorrow.
Have a good day!
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@Bomdhil You’re doing great Thomas, it’s wonderful watching your progression have a blessed day my friend 
@SoberWalker I’m glad your pill worked a little for your migraine, the side effects sound unpleasant though. Have you spoken to your doctor about your migraines? I’m sure you have, I’m just catching up a little. I get barometric migraines that can be crippling depending on weather. But yours sound quite frequent and really severe. I’m sorry for you friend. I hope today is a better day 
@JazzyS Hey Jaz, thanks for asking about my son he went for his colonoscopy and his endoscopy. They could see a little inflammation in his gut, but it won’t be the source of his pain. They biopsied and will get back to us in a couple of weeks with results I guess? I hope they figure it out soon. He’s 21 years old, he should be out living his life, but this is very debilitating for him. If I hear any news, I’ll keep you posted x
I hope your ultrasound goes well in the morning, gosh I did not like doing the full bladder thing for ultrasounds 
just bring a bottle of water with you in case you do pee, will keep you ‘topped up’. Tell us how you get on xx
I’ll dedicate this one to you Jaz 
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I feel far more better today! So happy with that. Yes, my doctor knows about my migaine. I have it much less then in my younger days. I think menopause helped me a lot with it.
Thank you for thinking of me! 
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What an incredible mix of languages and cultures!
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