Top of the morning to yah chaps, day 72. Woke up in good spirits, made my bed, and woke up to a call from the the people who run this place and they had a i.t guy come in and put a access point in my room and I’m pumped because now I have full bars. It’s just a relief bc now I’ll be all set for my remote classes. Got my books all ordered for school those will be here soon. Still feels a little weird having free time and not being checked on every hour through the night, I notice myself wake up by myself every our or so anyways. I miss the guys they became like a family to me, but I don’t miss some of the drama or the wining about chores or just ppl simply not doing the chores and letting the place go to shit. Yesterday was nice every Tuesday and Thursday the campus across the way gives out free dinners, I had ham and mashed potatoes and it was good. I also bought me some cereal and I ate a whole box last night when I woke up one time 
, also got me a salad for my dinner tonight tho. Idk gonna try to get to the gym, it kinda sucks being so far away from town we are so far away from everything out here kinda and it’s taking some getting use to. Alright well that’s enough from me. Much love everyone happy sober Fridays
Sober as ever. Friend coming over with Ethiopian food tonight. Damn fine. 
I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 23
Visiting friends in a nearby city for a festival.
Still heavy rain,has been some thunder today. I love thunder.
Didn’t really want to go, but the friends wanted to invite us because they usually camps in our garden. And felt bad for us not being invited to them more than once before.
Problem is that we won’t attend the festival because of the weather and said friends started to drink as soon as we arrived. Because they have a vacation.
They are all really nice and friendly but the woman makes me feel bad because she’s gorgeous and goes to the gym frequently.
And as I said,they like to drink. Especially cocktails.
Checking in for day 11.
Checking in day 3.5 no vaping. Its a constant struggle but ive made it this far! I dont want to start over at day 0 because ill have to fight harder. First weekend not vaping. Crossing my fingers and keeping busy.
I am so very greatful for this community, the support, and the timer that reinforce the cravings will weaken with time. Hold on tight. Many many thanks my peeps
Day 13: no grazing
Day 733: no pills
@Icebear hope that you are able to adjust to the new dosage. Glad that you were able to make an on line meeting and are feeling better
@dustysprungfield Congrats on building up he small wins. I know all about the winter blues. Are you able to find some type of activity to keep you motivated during the winter? Gym or work out classes, Bowling, Indoor sports). Possibly try to embrace winter – try sledding, sking –maybe walk when conditions are not too bad). Keep working the program ODAAT !
Thankyou Mno – Happy to read this and your post today. It made me feel at ease and peaceful. Grateful that you are making such positive leaps in your recovery and showing us that it is possible.
@sco this is very cleansing – I too go through the house at least once a year and dispose of anything that i have not looked at in a while – I find it to be a refreshing process.
@binx You are too sweet – these 6 days have been all you my friend – you are showing amazing strength and staying the course. I do hope they are able to figure out whats going on from the biopsy and hopefully get your son on a treatment plan. I can’t even imagine what he is enduring at such an young age – grateful to have you by his side – Please do keep us posted. I appreciate the heads up about the water – just reading that helped me and I actually did not have to pee (funny how the mind works).
@jaxxpage Jacqui I am so sorry that you are going through this today. Do know that drinking will not fix anything and will only create a bigger hole. Are you able to go to a meeting or meet up with friends or call your therapist (if you are seeing one) so that you are not alone. Loneliness and sadness are big breeding grounds for our DOC – it is best to find things to keep our minds and hands occupied. I find this community to be super supportive and a great distraction. Hopefully you are able to spend time reading around here to get your mind off of things (try some of the fun threads to lift your spirits – jokes/ memes…etc)
@sobermedit YEAH to having an end date for this job. Best of luck with your job interview next week. Enjoy your time off – hope you get to do something fun just for you.
@freckles2 Welcome back to the community and congrats on day 1. Hoping that you are setting up your support system irl and stay active here to keep yourself accountable and sober. We are here for you – hope to see you around.
This is awesome Julia. So excited for you! LOL – enjoy the bit of a swim 
I think you are very brave to be in this treatment center and working on yourself. I do hope that you are able to find some inner peace and self-love where here. Wishing you the best in your recovery Rob. So grateful that you are giving this an honest shot.
@sufferningnomore-free You are most welcome my friend - It is important to let out what’s been on our minds and share with others cause sometimes we are not able to see something as clearly as an outsider may. Absolutely love how you spent your day and I’m sure your boys will treasure these moments forever. Love this preview and with effort I do believe you can make it a reality. Here is to living a freeing lifestyle!
@katiee Way to go with 40 days love. I know its hard but I’m proud of you for not reaching out. You both need time to heal. Grateful that you are working on yourself and becoming stronger / healthier every day. Keep strong!
@wakikki So glad that the appointment went well and super relieved that you made an appointment for Monday with your doctor. I’m sorry that you are holding in so much pain – it is so difficult to keep going and put on a front for your kids / loved ones – I do hope that you find relief soon. I am finally getting some testing done (I guess after years of having symptoms I qualify for tests now). Finding some issues (which is actually a relief) – nothing that is a death sentence – grateful for these moments to heal myself.
Sophia – you have no need to feel bad – you are Gorgeous and full of life. Have such a glowing personality that I’m sure everyone is drawn to. I’m sorry about all the drinking – I do hope you have your mocktail and other options to keep you social and sober.
Checking in on Friday afternoon -
Not feeling the positivity today but glad i’m not in a negative dark hole either – just in limbo and feeling blah. I’m in pain but nothing crazy. i feel like sleeping and crying but none of those are happening so i’m just meh! All good - this won’t last - i won’t let it. i know what i need to do but just don’t have it in me to do it so will start slow with some comedy to get me laughing till i cry (this may be the release i need). No urges today! The sun is shining so i’m going to open up the curtains and soak in some rays - have a wonderful addiction free day everyone! Sending much love. 
Day 6
Back home without buying shit.
2300m… “a little” swim wasn’t possible when the flow started after first 1000m.
Feelings bit in trouble, as “he” was there and I was not able to fix my boundaries as I wanted.
I reminded the field of love, I am deeply in touch with, on my way home.
Joyning a fresh cold sparkling water now. Will c what is served for dinner later (lol… By my imaginary stuff 
)
Much love 
Well went over at 12 and hit a meeting. It was nice, I didn’t really stick around after and do any talking but I’m glad I stick to my word. Tomorrow is another at 12 I’ll try that one as well
You shouldn’t feel bad, you are gorgeous yourself!
Celebrating day 301
Day 2101. Exploring Panama. Sobriety has given me the freedom to be free and AA gives me the freedom from drugs and alcohol.
Oh how marvelous!! We have close friends who live in Bocas! Gorgeous country. Have fun!!!
Day 41. Work has been ok this week. Went out for a vegetarian thali for dinner, visitor’s again this weekend . I feel good. A bit even keel which isn’t v exciting in an odd way but ok
Second check on for today.
A huge Thank you to @Mischa84 and @JazzyS who cheered me up earlier.
I did it guys. I stayed sober all night long. I was at the festival we came here to attend all sober. We saw one of my husbands favorite Swedish artists called Nordman.
When we got back from the festival our friends started to mix more and more drinks again. Offered me to try just about everything alcoholic. And after my 10th No Thank you. I simply gave up and said
“Once I started I can’t stop, I have a huge problem with that”
The man looked puzzled for a while and then he said “Once you started? I’ve never seen you drink ans we’ve been hanging out for about 5 years now”
I’ve answered that my problem is the reason I don’t even get started and I’ve tried to stay sober from time to time through this years. And hopefully It’ll last this time.
Both of them looked at me and simply said “Okey”
And that was it, no further questions ,they pretty much just accepted it and after that we just kept on as usual with our normal conversations.
It felt pretty good,and a lot easier to say No if they ask me if I want a drink once again next time.
We all just went to bed, they because they finally had enough to drink. And the rest of us because it’s late.
I’m glad to have you guys. And I’m glad that I don’t really have any problems to admit my problem this time.
It feels good.
