@Mali welcome back sorry for your loss and about your circumstances but congrats on 3 days @JazzyS thank you so much 🩵 @Scorpn congrats on 300 days @EFountains congrats on 11 months @Wakikki I hope you can get an appointment sending strength 🩵 @KarenKW congrats on 3 weeks
1091 days no alcohol.
556 days no cocaine.
71 days no vape.
Was awoken by a phonecall from my dad’s wife, inviting me to their house because my brother, SIL, and niece were there. So I visited with family today… They tried very hard to get me to eat a takeaway with them, I had to say no atleast ten times. They tried again when it was delivered, but I stood my ground. Not much else. Feel okay ish, but very tired. I’ve somehow really hurt my leg, I think it’s from the ten min yoga moves I tried on Tues, it hurts so much, so I haven’t been able to do my walks this weekend and I’m feeling it mentally.
Wow i am so proud of u for standing ur ground with the takeaway food. Im sorry u has to repeat urself so many times tho for them to understand that u meant it. Hope ur visit with the family was okay otherwise. I also hope ur leg recovers quickly so u can get back to walking
Today I made something that’s called the “Braverman test”. I found out about this by accident.
It’s a test that helps you through questions to find out if you maybe lack a neurotransmitter that can cause pretty bad symptoms.
Curious me of course wanted to know if that could be a thing. I know that still something is wrong. I don’t feel good. I’m stressed super fast, can’t sleep good, can’t relax properly and my anxiety got worse over the last years. I always thought it’s my job, but I had this problems already many years ago, since a man I deeply loved threw me away like garbage. I never was the same after that.
I found out that I seem to need more of a neurotransmitter called GABA. I checked if the symptoms I had would fit the symptoms of others. They do 100%. I immediately started to cry, what if I found something REALLY big?
I already ordered meds that will help me to regulate that, I hope they’ll arrive Wednesday.
I will not give up, I’ll find what makes me feel like this and eliminate it.
This is my life and I don’t want to waste it
Hey guys
495 days, still trucking along. There hasn’t been much to chat about these days, nothing very interesting anyway. The seasons are starting to change, it was a gorgeous sunny day yesterday. Very much looking forward to swimming and enjoying the warm weather again.
Still struggling to get back into an exercise routine again, am going to attempt a few days back at the gym this week. I’ve been slack with it, but walking, still trying to move. Need to take some time to take better care with food and exercise. Trying to frame it in a less obsessive way as of late.
Take care friends x
Im on 5.78 days without nicotine. This addiction is no joke. Ive cried everyday feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Im holding out hope things will get better
Just think lady, once u get past these withdrawals and cravings u will NEVER have to feel this again. Its a brutal addiction for sure but its not impossible to beat u got this!
I used yesterday and again it felt like a chore. Im doing harm reduction and am not using today or tomorrow, or hopefully the work week. Today I got a lot of things done and barely left my windowless room. I vacuumed, organized some shit, did some laundry. I have some more laundry and vacuuming to do and also organizing and messages to send.
Covid cases are rising so its an easier choice to avoid the grocery store. why risk being that sick an extra time so I can entertain my alcoholism?
Going to play some more music now and try to get something really solid done. Ive had coffee tea energy drink and water, and now im going to have a pepsi. Just keep going.
Checking in Day 27
A friend of mine canceled our plans because she stayed out too late and was hungover today. I remembered immediately allllll the times I bailed due to a hangover and gave her so much grace even though I was really looking forward to our plans. I practiced putting, meal prepped, read an hour of my book, went to the gym, and… it’s only 5:30pm. I got some NA beers because my craving right now is pretty strong. It’s doing the trick but, I am so antsy and I guess BORED I think I’ll hit a meeting. I’m off of work tomorrow and my daughter is at her dad’s so I’m feeling tooo free. And, got too much time and my brain is just defaulting to my old way of thinking but, I recognize what’s going on.
Sorry your plans fell through, good of you to be understanding. Sounds like a great time for a meeting. Continue to make these good decisions. Take care of yourself. I believe in you
Day 50
It’s been a productive weekend. Accomplished way more than planned and it feels great.
Also, dealt with a stressful situation with my daughter in law. She enjoys creating drama and unfortunately my son allows it. It was successfully handled. I did not engage that horrible woman and had no cravings or desire to drink. My brother is 20 years sober and helped my navigate her triggering behavior.
Evening check in Day 539
Day is finally winding down. Had a good evening overall. Usually I start getting irritable and impatient in the evenings bcuz im tired… but not today I am tired but im choosing not to let it bring me down.
I am determined to be productive tmrw! Im not allowing myself to get complacent or to make excuses for why i havent done what i want to do. I know the consequences of that type of thinking and i dont want to feel this way anymore. I made my To Do list for tmrw. Theres not just tasks written down but also things to do to improve my health such as exercise and drinking 80-100oz of water a day. I didnt overwhelm myself with too much. Everything i have written down is very easily able to be done. Its just i have to do it lol
Recovery wise - All is well. Praying that i dont have a using dream tonight. They suck lol
Health wise - im excited for this week to get back on track. I have to begin the process of forming better habits. I believe a habit takes 21 days to form? Correct me if im wrong… i cant remember lmao but i need to put in the effort to get that motivation going again.
Hope u all are doing well and loving life and recovery! Have a great night everyone
Thank you. Whenever I fall in a lil trap I get on here, and usually just sharing my feelings puts it into perspective. I believe in us too. I know it’s early in my sobriety but I really want this
@butterflymoonwoman I’m so sorry about the using dream – they do suck! I do hope you have a better sleep tonight. Sending you energy and motivation to get back on track with your to do list. @brian1965uk so sorry about your hamstring – I do hope the pain lets up. I do know how much enjoyment you get from running. @starlight14 Thank you for all the love and the hugs Kelly! Right back at your sweetheart! I totally think you are AMAZING! @karenkw Well done on your 3 weeks of sobriety Karen! Keep taking it ODAAT my friend. @catmancam Glad you were able to stand your ground. So sorry about your leg – I do hope that the pain doesn’t last much longer so you can get back to your walks. Sending you happy healing vibes @sabrina80 WOW – I do hope the supplement helps with your symptoms. I’m sorry that you are not feeling like yourself lately. Glad to hear that you are not giving up on your self @CJP You are rocking this so hard – just think once you get over this hurdle you will be completely addiction free! I know you are strong enough to get through these urges (I’m sorry you are going through the emotional roller coaster). @bomdhil Wishing you luck with your pilgrimage my friend – we will be here if you need us. You have the strength to beat the urges – remember to use the tools you have gathered. @minatasha I’m glad to see you being persistent. It is super important to keep busy so you don’t have time to entertain the urges. Do you have a good support system irl? Are you able to go to meetings / get a sponsor? I find this site is an amazing source for support and distractions. ODAAT @charlie_c WOW – so close to your 4 digit milestone – so exciting. Sorry about the overwhelming exhaustion…I d hope that lets up for you. Yeah to being happy in your sobriety.
sorry for your loss 
and about your circumstances 
but congrats on 3 days 
sending strength 🩵
I think I’ll hit a meeting. I’m off of work tomorrow and my daughter is at her dad’s so I’m feeling tooo free. And, got too much time and my brain is just defaulting to my old way of thinking 
but, I recognize what’s going on.
Evening check in 
I am tired but im choosing not to let it bring me down.