This is a belated post, since I didn’t post last night as per usual.
Day 14 (two weeks again lol) Woot Woot!
I went for an epic long 1.5 hour walk around my town. It felt really good, and any anxiety I’d been having promptly vanished.
My friend got the used phone I mailed him, and is really happy with it. I could have sold it, but I’m glad I didn’t. It made me so happy to help someone out and make him happy.
I ate a bunch of healthy food, and my body I’m sure thanks me for it. Our oven is still broken, but at least the gas burners still work.
I started my 20mg taper down (from 40mg) of Prozac. So far, so good. But Prozac has a long half-life, so hopefully this next week or so isn’t too hard. Time will tell.
I passed out with my laptop still playing a show lol. I guess I’m getting old. Probably more tiredness from my walk. But hey, at least I passed out SOBER for a change!
Now it’s day 15, I’m going to try and be productive.
I’m currently sitting here eating a delicious chinese meal and I just feel grateful.
Grateful for this place here, for all of you, that I have food and a roof over my head, that I’m still alive and strong and healthy enough to work out regularly.
Whatever higher power there might be, thank you
Love your positive energy @JazzyS always you have been an inspiration to me this entire journey of my sobriety… it has been a pleasure to watch you grow and overcome your battles as well! It has been extremely hot lately so I feel you on staying inside. Sounds like a perfect time to either just relax or get some house work done etc. thank you for always being here… even when I’ve been distant and not communicating you’ve been there and have always checked on me…I’m forever grateful to call you my friend
I’m feeling much better, thank you, but still a smidge anxious. I talked to my mom and stepdad and they were very helpful. We dated two years ago but to me that’s pretty recent.
Morning check in Day 518
Goood morning TS! Hope everyone is doing well. Just finished listening in on a Sunday online sermon which was amaaaazing as usual. Feeling more connected with a renewed sense of faith and trust in my HP. Im currently at work waiting for my client to return to the group home. Its been a quiet morning. Grateful for this day and to be clean and sober. I also realized (thru the help of todays sermon) that the reason why i had been getting cravings and thoughts of using day in and day out was due to the lack of connection that i had lately to my HP. Last week i was severely slacking on prayer and meditation and that opened the door to alot of negative thoughts and emotions. I realized thru all this, that there is a HUGE correlation btwn the strength of my recovery and the connection i have to my HP. So i am grateful to have learned this. Other than this, not much else going on. Hoping for a good week coming up. Have lots planned for it just want to make sure that i havw the energy lol. Have a great sunday everyone!
Awe thanks Billy! Same goes for me my friend. Grateful to be on this journey with you!
Hope you are having a nice relaxing Sunday staying out of the heat.
2 years is still fairly recent my friend. I am grateful that you had your mom and stepdad to talk with. Glad u are feeling a bit better - lets look for some more Halloween memes - may cheer ya up.
Day 1 here. Having a hard time with my wife. Shes upset cuz once again i went out with a buddy the other day and was out late drinking and driving (stupid I know). I spent the morning reflecting and came to the conclusion that drinking has done nothing but caused me pain or embarrassment. I tried to explain to her that I want to quit drinking and she for some reason dont think my drinking is the problem. She says the problem is my staying out late and not coming home when I say I will. I tried to explain that is due to the drinking. When i drink her feelings or anyone elses dont matter to me all i want is to continue drinking. I understand she is skeptical but I wish she was more supportive
Thank you for your encouragement. I’m definitely going to try and rewire. I have to do that.
I hope you’ll have a great day and night,my day actually turned out great. I ended up starting to Renovate my bedroom.
@GenG congrats on 2 weeks @CHASE.E.U congrats on day 1 in time, your wife will hopefully see your changed behaviour and become supportive of your sobriety
1070 days no alcohol.
535 days no cocaine.
50 days no vape.
Today I managed to stop myself from going out the door to buy binge foods, even though I already had my keys in my pocket and my waterproof jacket on ready to go. I was proud of that, and it shows me that I do want to stop this behaviour deep down, even though surface level me wants all the food all of the time, and therefore craves. But then, later on, I was just getting home from my lake walk, and the ice cream van pulled up right beside me, and I couldn’t resist. I can’t wait til it stops making rounds. I know it’s better than a big binge, but it’s still something I shouldn’t be having, since I’m diabetic, so now I’m hating on myself for that.
I’ve done all my usual routine things, meditations, both walks. But the migraine is persisting and my fatigue and pain have flared up. I had a 2 hour nap again today but I have been non-stop yawning since I woke up several hours ago. Have forced myself to come on here to check-in so I don’t get behind again. Glad I did, there really is something special about this place, so thank you all for being here, sharing and supporting. 🩵
Back home, no wrong exit, no expensive wine bought on ugly poor gas stations!
Will go to bed sober tonight.
Need a clear mind next week.
Always need a clear mind.
Hope I will make it this time…
Back to longer terms of sobriety.
Especially next week to finish the exit contract of my job hopefully. And to set clear boundaries to a man I don’t want to be intimate anymore. It’s not serving me, I don’t feel save with him and the whole situation. I deserve better!
Thanks @CATMANCAM. Good job avoiding hitting the shops for binge food. I still struggle with this, so I know how hard it is. Try not to be too hard on yourself about the ice cream (easier said than done, I know). As an outsider, looking at your days in numbers, I’m super impressed and inspired by you. You’re doing so great. I hope you feel better and get some r and r.
Day 22 nearly over. I think thats three sober weekend’s in a row ? Just booked a holiday for September. Haven’t got the gym yet but hopefully this week
At work tomorrow but off on Friday:) hopefully get some sleep tonight
Just checkin in and reading a bit. Things going well overall (im a very lucky man). I hope everyone can find something good in their day today and enjoy sobriety. Take care
Don’t use drinking as an excuse for your behavior. Your drinking (like all alcoholics) stems from your selfishness and self-centeredness, not the other way around.
Rather than make continued empty promises I would find a program of recovery and work it to the best of my ability every single day.
Congrats on your day one and for realizing that you need help and support for you. Good to see that you have jumped in to a bunch of the threads on TS. There is support here for you here as well as “out there”, be it online or in person meetings, literature etcetera.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, and many of us had to swallow that pill, we know how bitter it can taste.
No matter how much we want to blame our behavior on drinking, it was our sober selves that made the decision to drink in the first place, knowing what the outcome will be, even if we pretend we didn’t.
I’ve apologized to my wife so many times that my words became worthless, action was the only currency that had any value and so that was how I repaid my debt to her, with action through sobriety. After 4 and a half years, I think my debt is almost paid off!
It’s been a while since I’ve checked in here, and it’s about time I did! Things have been challenging lately with moving, family visiting to help and enjoy our new house with us, migraines and illness, wildfire smoke and big summer thunderstorms. It has felt like everything all at once at times but as usual all I can do is take it a day at a time and keep pushing through. Today I did just that and pushed through some pain and under the weather feelings to finally finish cleaning the rental we moved out of. We will have our walk through with the rental company tomorrow evening and hopefully be handing over the keys and signing off on it, then also hopefully be getting some of our rent prorated back to us along with the deposit. We have done what we needed to on our end and I don’t think they will nitpick too much. It’s such a relief! I can really breath easier now and I’m excited to really focus on our new home now. To new beginnings! A home where I never binged and hid my drinking from my husband, never hid bottles and cans around. I thought I might feel some nostalgia about that house and leaving it but I don’t, not at all. We are both ready to move on to this new chapter in our lives as homeowners…it’s been a long time coming. Staying sober has helped get me and us to this point and I don’t forget that. I’m grateful and actually somewhat proud!
Hopefully I will be around more on TS now as this big stress is off my mind. I’ve been reading a lot, which is a go to for me and it helps when I’m stressed. But I’ll try my best to be responding and posting more. Sending my best wishes out to this community, thanks for being here.
I think thats where I am at I cant say anything that matters to her anymore. I hope I can show her cuz i dont think she will be putting up with anymore of my shit
