Checking in today, really tired. The smoky skies have cleared but it has taken its toll and I’m still coughing up a storm. I do feel accomplished, though. I’ve been working on cleaning out our old place and that’s wrapped up! I did okay while my husband was on a work trip for a week, and in the past, time alone has been difficult for me. It used to be a free pass to drink as much as I wanted, which seems like ages ago, but I still keep an eye on how I’m doing when he’s gone because I can get depressive feelings as well. I kept busy and took okay care of myself, so that’s a win. So this Monday has me feeling pretty good and also in a contemplating mood.
I’ve had some conversations with friends lately about our beliefs, or lack thereof, in a god or how to define the idea of a higher power. I cannot reconcile that there is anything that qualifies as a “higher power” for myself, though I know others have been able to without it being a god figure. These thoughts are in the front of my mind after reading through TS lately and I know I am not the only one who feels this way, so I’d like to share my thoughts.
The community on TS is quite diverse, I think, and people’s perspectives are valid and welcome but some are not heard as often. I love the idea that the opposite of addiction is connection, and this is not just connection to people, to community, but also to peers who have shared experience, which is why we are all here, seeking and giving support for sobriety. The Talking Sober community has been the single most important part of my recovery, but it is certainly not the only tool I’ve used. I read a lot about recovery and wellness, especially self help type books, I journal every day including a daily gratitude journaling practice, and I try my best to take care of my body and mind. I’ve gone to therapy in the past, also. When I’m having trouble with my mental health I use grounding exercises, talk with my family and friends, and use meditation apps on my phone.
I believe connection also ties into connection to my physical community, finding ways of being of service, connection to the land and environment, to our earth and so on. It’s why I love to grow things, get my hands in the earth, plant things the pollinators love and get out in nature when I can. All of these connections mean something to me. I am grateful for all of them. And that’s my version of a way to a secular, personal style of recovery that works for me. Thanks, friends, for reading.
yeap that’s me 
