Checking in.
On my list was swimming before work. I did this today. The sea had the same temperature as the air. 
So refreshing factor was ‘moyen’. I am still happy I did it. I can still surprise myself and my family and my friends.
And my colleagues asked me if I wanted to join them tomorrow after work for Picknick on the beach that is not frequented by tourists. I was hesitant fist. Why? I have no fucking idea. But I said yes and now I am looking forward to it. 
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Day 941 - Check in 2
My brother and his partner visited my parents. Decided to go as well and not avoid it. It went fine, glad I went. Little bit the feeling that I’m not alone. Ending alone is one of my fears.
After I came home I made diner since a long time. I like cooking, but just for myself I find it hard at the moment. My sponsor is coming to help to finish a room in the house, so I invited him for diner.
Overthinking the past and what-if scenarios are still there. Now looking at a stage of the Tour de France.
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Day 281
Just another day today. Work, then hanging with the kids. Hope y’all are doing well 
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Day 99 checking in sober 
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Got 99 problems but a drink ain’t one lol
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Look at you creeping on triple digits with a sense of humor 
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I’m over 30min without a vape and 8 days sober I think
Can’t talk now
At work
be back soon
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Day 303/10 months AF
Still here, still alcohol free, very thankful for my journey this time and the goodness its bringing me.
While I’m happy in most aspects I seem to have noticed I have social anxiety kicking in heaps just
Something to work through i guess.
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Celebrating day 284
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@Noshame congrats on your week 
and your first day vape-free
@JazzyS thank you 
🩵 I can only hope, losing the battle with my ED again lately, I thought today was going to be day 2 and I was really happy about that, but I felt so cruel after the literal battle with my cat and I just couldn’t cope, and I really didnt want to reset my vape, so something else had to give. Ugh. We go again tomorrow. 
I hope today went well with the specialist 🩵
@Kareness sorry for your loss 
@2JTravNZ congrats on 10 months
1072 days no alcohol.
537 days no cocaine.
52 days no vape.
The anxiety I experienced this morning was like nothing before, well, it was the worst it has been for a while anyway. I couldn’t think of anything to write for my application for my old job back, and I was burning up inside over the countdown to getting my cat in his carrier. I was craving a vape so badly, I even decided I was going to go and buy 2, but when I was almost at the shop, I resisted, carried on, and did my usual morning walk, but then, I was convinced I was going to go in the shop to buy them on my way home, but I ‘played the tape through right to the end’, I thought about having to tell the nurse today during our phonecall that I’d relapsed again, and I thought about coming here with yet another counter back to zero. Im ashamed enough about how long I’ve been battling my eating disorder, I didnt want to start again, (again) for vaping, and that helped me keep walking home. 
I did get my cat in his carrier, after about 5 laps round the house after 5 escapes, he was making awful noises, he did not want to go in at all, I hate being strong with his precious cat body, and chasing him round when he clearly feels scared and anxious, it makes me feel so cruel. But he had his groom, and she got enough fur off him to make another cat! He has some shaved patches bless him. I have found another clump between his front legs that she’s missed, I’ve just msged her about it and she said if I can get him back there are 10am she will sort it for free. So it’s all going down again tomorrow!
This afternoon once everything was calm, I managed to focus on my application, and I feel much better about it again. There are 3 more days to add bits and tweak it before the deadline. I just know how bad I am at interviews because of how insecure and anxious I am, I struggle to sell myself. So that gives me doubt, but I can only try.
🩵
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Today I lost
- my job!!!
- purpose
- future outlook
- sense of belonging
- colleagues I considered friends
- meaning
- identity
- structure
- confidence
- self esteem
- motivation
- routine
Today I didn’t lose my sobriety
Still feel like 
though
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Oh no @HolySquid and @CATMANCAM Sounds like you have both had really hard days.
I hope the anxiety settles @CATMANCAM
Do you want to talk about it @HolySquid Sounds really tough.
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Checking in with 2 weeks. I had my physio earlier to help my knees. Tried the gym too as was desperate to get back to it. Think it was OK, will see tomorrow. The main thing is I may have knee pain, but my chronic fatigue seems fine. Nice to have new problems instead of the same old. Mixing it up 
I needed something as a distraction today. Life has just been really hard recently, sometimes I feel like I am living in a badly written TV soap. Not sure how to process the feelings and anger, have never been very good at it. Maybe I will share it all tomorrow. Will try and sleep now. Hope everyone is OK
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Thanks @Soberbilly . You sound very young at heart! That’s a very good thing. Congrats on your days–it’s always super inspiring seeing people on here winning at the sobriety lifestyle.
So, for the smoothie…
1 Cup Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk
One handful of Baby Spinach
About 1 and 1/2 Tablespoons Almond Butter
About half a medium Avocado
4-5 large strawberries
I’ve been using a scoop of unflavored Collagen Peptides, but you could probably skip this or use any protein powder.
I use a good brand of liquid Stevia for sweetness, but maple syrup would be my next choice. Or honey.
A few ice cubes if your fruit is fresh. I’ve been using organic frozen Strawberries and Avocado, so I skip this step.
Have a great sober day!
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Exactly!!! 
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52 days no vape is incredible work
The addiction to nicotine is so strong that it’s ligit making me it’s slave. I can’t even feel normal without it.
I talked to my partner and she is going to help me
I have the next 2 days off after 5 days straight. Perfect time to get 2 days without the vape
I think if I can get these 2 days without the vape I’ll want to keep going
Stay strong catmancam
I wish I had that number.
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The consult went well – thank you for asking. Still a long road ahead.
My goodness – you did get your cat into the carrier – well done. Sorry that you have to go through the ordeal again tomorrow – hoping it is a bit easier.
You are being way to hard on yourself my friend. I am super proud that you were able to resist the vape store multiple times today. I know you are tracking when you slip up and having these urges but I would like you to start keeping track of all your accomplishments – each time you stay away from alcohol/cocaine/vape/ binge – each time you engage socially and do your daily routine – you are making great strides and I wish you could see that for yourself.
Well done on focusing on your application. You have done this job before – you are perfect for it as you know the ins and outs.
Check out the attached list Positive affirmations for job interview Start practicing some or all of these daily - i think it can help you get over your self-doubt.
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