That’s a tough day for sure. Losing one job doesn’t mean that the things you listed are gone forever. You can find new purpose, belonging, etc with a new job. And hopefully have purpose, belonging etc outside of work anyway. But hugs on a shitty day.
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@cueball8n9 160 days!! That’s awesome. Looks like you are having so many lovely adventures. Love this for you. Sending you strength and energy to keep up with the young fellas!
@kareness So sorry for your loss. Ido hope that you have some support and find comfort in this time of grief.
@mrsodh OMG the Super Mario theme with the pipes is absolutely amazing – hope you do get to do this in some part of the house as I can’t wait to see pics. I’m sure whatever you decide with the brick block that It will turn out amazing.
@beachy hope you are doing well today! Sorry your sleep was messed up last night – we do have crappy nights from time to time even without drinking but the beauty is that we do not wake up with a hangover. Wishing you a better night’s rest tonight.
@soberbilly you are young at heart and that keeps you feeling young – don’t ever change
@Mesober it took be at least 60 days to get a better sleep schedule and still am not 100 % regulated but so much better – hang tight you will start feeling the positive effects of sobriety!
I know for me I am dealing with severe inflammation which is causing weight gain when I try to work out. Not sure if it could be similar for you but worth looking into - are you able to discuss this with your doctor? Also – the numbers might just be muscle that you are gaining.
@amy30 were you able to get in contact with your therapist? Those are “actual reasons” and I’m glad that you have listed them down and now can work through them. The “what if…loop” can be exhausting. It is so easy to get wrapped up in that and then having to deal with the reality of all the damage we have caused our bodies with years of our addiction – OMG – it can drive you mad. Be gentle and take baby steps. Continuing on the path of a healthy lifestyle will show healthy results – they will take time to appear but they will appear. A Leo? When is your birthday? I do hope you have a wonderful celebration planned.
@2travnz Congrats on your 10 months! Keep up the amazing work – wish you luck in dealing with the social anxiety.
@holysquid I am so sorry my friend – sounds like an all-around awful day. I am so grateful that you maintained your sobriety. I’m sure that if you were at the job for many years that it became a part of you (we spend so much time at work – our second families so to speak are our work families)… this is not all of you! BUT know this – You are so much more than your job! It will get better my friend. You are amazing being you – your job and no part in making you YOU!
Checking in
209 days alcohol and weed free
624 days cigarette free
Been a rough day but luckily will be calling it a early night 
I did get to see my doctor and speak with a specialist today. Was able to rule out a lot of things but still no answers to what is causing my symptoms. Will have a few more tests ordered. I do know that my severe inflammation still needs attention - trying a very aggressive anti inflammatory diet for past few weeks and continuing with this.
Its now 6 weeks without gluten - i found out i am not celiac but should still keep away from it for now till i get my inflammation under control. All good - so grateful that i will not have to say goodbye to bread for ever 
Anything is possible in recovery - sending everyone much love… 
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tonight will be day 504 of no self harm
I managed to eat a full meal today. nothing eventful today, pain is manageable.
anyways I realized I haven’t been sharing my art on here so I’m going to be doing that.
TW for smoking, just to clarify I didn’t draw any of this I just colored it
this is the first thing I ever colored digitally (probably about 6 months ago)
and this is my most recent and favorite coloring page so far
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I think that was super eventful - great job on eating a full meal!!!
Thank you so much for sharing your art love – you are super talented. Love all the pics!
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thank you I haven’t looked at the first image since I made it and seeing the difference is so cool. I plan to upload each art thing I do from now
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YUP - super cool! grateful that you are sharing with us and looking forward to seeing the new art…
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Checking in
Day 520
Today has been hectic. My son has been having severe issues with his eyes lately and ive been thinking theres an underlying issue bcuz every optometrist weve seen and eye treatment plan weve been doing, isnt helping. So today i took him to the pediatrician and i have to take him for a head xray tmrw. He has had sinus issues in the past so im wondering if he has a sinus infection thats causing pressure on his eyes. Im not sure. But i have been praying and doing the footwork to try and get some answers.
As for recovery, i am doing much better. I am not craving to use or having using thoughts or dreams. So thats been a huge relief. Connecting to God each morning has done wonders.
My health hasnt been great. Binge eating has come back (maybe due to stress… idk) and my eating is out of control honestly. I dont feel well physically. Tmrw i will have to do better. Tmrw is a workout day so i will exercise first thing and hopefully that will set my day up well.
Not much else to say. Really needing some self care and a good rest. Would like to do some reading on here also to feel connected. Hope everyone is doing well today!
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Goon night 
long busy day, but I’m checking in sober. So it was good!
12 days 3 hours.
Not one drop.
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Sending you healing vibes- hoping you get the answers and the treatment you need for your son.
Be gentle with yourself. You are juggling a lot. Glad you sre doing better with recovery…your battle with binge eating will get better too. Loads of love and strength my friend 
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Day 8 check in: It was super productive, even enjoyable in the morning. Finally made it to the gym and yoga and was on an endorphin cloud. Once I came home and settled in my aunt called me drunk and being nasty. I was appalled!! Shaking!! I wanted a drink sooo freakin bad then realized SHES drunk. LOOK HOW NASTY THE ALCOHOLIC TONGUE IS 
then, I calmed down took a piece of trazadone and called my dad. He gently reminded me of how hurtful my words have been and I’m now thinking of it as a blessing to see it with different eyes. This was my first argument sober. IT WAS HARD, I WAS SHAKING, MY THROAT BURNED FOR A DRINK… but, it’s been an hour and I’m okay. A small knot but that’s been there regardless. Just checking in. Might need to check in later if the anger doesn’t fully go away. I don’t want it to fester.
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Well done Roxanne
It is crazy to see those around you in a drunk or tipsy state while you are stone cold sober. We dont realize how we looked and acted and talked just like that. It is a wake up call indeed.
Glad you were able to talk with your dad and calm down some. Grateful you came here to check in and smart to continue check ins if u still feel the anger…deep breathes my friend- the urges when the anger is in your throat can be strong but you ate stronger. Well done on day 8!!!
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Congrats on day 8 Roxanne.
I’m glad you came here to blow off a little steam. Keep checking in and leaving that shit with us. We’ll take it for ya. No point in you holding on to it. That’s my favorite part about sharing. Dumping it on someone else that understands us.
ODAAT.
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1502
Having my morning coffee, reading this thread, getting ready for work. Starting my mini vacation after this early shift. Got to make sure I fit some true me time in there, already got a family visit lined up, a therapy session, and visit to the vet with Luna. And more social stuff will come up.
I’m glad I don’t isolate myself like I did when using -hanging around in bars drinking with drinking buddies IS isolating oneself- but I still need my me time. Will do. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
@HolySquid Sorry friend. Congrats on staying sober. Hugs.
@rainy7 Excellent work Roxanne. Keep going. Good moments and bad ones.
@CATMANCAM That was a tough day but you both made it through. One day at a time friend x.
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Thank you!! I’ve came back to base level, I just can’t believe the auto urge to drink when stressed or agitated. What a brain 
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I know that auto urge all too well…trust me it does get easier and eventually goes away…hang tight and keep checking in
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Thanks for the recipe @Soberbilly, that sounds delicious. Are you vegan?
Day 17
Another epic long walk. I got a little sun-burned and now I am pooped, but the long walks are so nice. They definitely help my head.
I’m trying to get back into a stretching routine. Today was day 2. I used to be super flexible and I want that back!
Still doing fine with my med decrease. I’m grateful for today going smoothly.
Tomorrow I have to go to the DMV, fun times lol. And I really need to do some organizing and tidying.
Hope everyone is doing well. Stay strong Sober Fam!
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I understand I am struggling with it as well,
I didn’t realize how strong my nicotine addiction until I didn’t have scheduled breaks, and now I see it, Smokem if you gotem Is really taking over,
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Day 282
I’ve been focusing on parts working today. Only small bits, but we’ve written a few pages back and forth. So progress.
I am trying to find the cause of one who keeps being so negative so I can hopefully find a solution. I did lock them out for a long long time, but I think I am getting to the point (just barely) in recovery that I want to help heal other parts… At least in small sessions. So I will try when I can.
Love y’all 
Time for me to go to sleep. 
Good night
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Day 100 checking in odaat
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@Butterflymoonwoman I hope you find some answers for your son, and some peace with your eating. Always supporting you 
@rainy7 ‘auto urge’ I think that is a great way to put it. ‘Trigger’ can be a little too strong a word (and often connected to PTSD etc).
@Dmcg1987 Congrats on triple digits
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