Day 1,695. Stopping in to say hello!
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Checking in on day 1155, within a nice resort with all you can eat and you know what! Almost at the end of a two week stint and so happy that I havenāt been tempted at all, happy days ā¦ 
hope you all have a good day/night where ever life has given birth to you 
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Hey all, checking in on day 1132. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 5 finally had a good nights sleep for it only to be ruined by my alarm clock lol. Feeling pretty good today. However we are under a severe heat advisory with temps ranging from 107 to 109 this weekend so might have to hide out in the ac all weekend
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Hey man, i know its just another nicotine replacement, but i quit vaping last week and am using nicotine salts. Looks like dip packs, but no tobacco. It helped me not pick the vape back up! Good luck to you brother!
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Day 188.
Okā¦ today Iām kinda a bit better than yesterday. But not really. Iāve been sleeping like shit, I struggle to fall asleep, Iām angry. Like easily irritable. Just left the house and went for a walk because I couldnāt stand being in there anymore. Itās not even a houseā¦ itās a former bar with a fucking piano in the middle of it. And itās dark. Too dark. And the pub next door has party nights over the weekend. And the bed is too soft.
Now Iām in a riverside cafe with a glass of diet coke and a coffee. It feels like Iām constantly in the verge of tears.
Trapped. I feel trapped. Like I wanna run. From what? Fuck knows.
I think Iām PMS-ing.
Yeahā¦ Iāll keep walking for a bit. Maybe treat myself toā¦ something. I donāt actually need anything. Maybe a new face moisturiser? The one I have made me break out in spots.
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I know that feeling well; itās usually right before I relapse. But youāve made it 188 days, hang in there!
Battery almost dead, so thisāll be last check-in for a while. Not feeling much better although I did sleep. Waiting on test results and a treatment plan. 
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Hopefully youāll start feeling better soon.
And thank you! Fuck, being in danger of relapse didnāt even cross my mind. But I think youāre right.
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Day 293
Okay so working out every 3. day is too much for meā¦my hashimotoās is not amused. Iām feeling like I ran a marathon yesterday. I could sleep while standing. Not good. So I reduce it to every 4.-5. day.
I wonāt give up tho. It feels good to be stronger and I like how my shape changes. And Iāll adjust my medication. I learned today that when I workout I might need more medication.
All of those things would not be possible if Iād still drink. Iām having a life now, thatās awesome.
Back then when I was numbing myself with alcohol I didnāt want to live. It felt awful. That changed, I like it to be here.
Thatās all for now
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Day 944,
My head is exploding. I wish I was the type that could quit drinking and never look back. But Iām not like that and the insights and realizations what I did to myself and others keeps on coming I geus there is no button for that. Living my amends by staying sober at the moment and putting my self straight is all I can do. One step at a time.
Leaving on a weeks vacation tomorrow. Same as last year Iāll visit my son and his mother and stay in a location nearby them. So Iāll be spending the active days with my son and she can do her own stuff. Went fine last year, but having more mixed feelings this year.
After the holiday Iāll have one day left before I enter the diagnostic centre for neuropsychological research. No wonder I have a full head 
.
Have a nice day all 
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Checking in. I was writing on another thread about how I was able to quit weed a little over 20 years ago for work reasons, and it was one of the hardest things Iāve ever had to do. But used alcohol as my crutch to get through everything in life. Alcohol is the one vice I canāt seem to shake long term. 3-4 months of sobriety and than relapse. Even if theyāre very short ones theyāre still relapses. I explained this to my doctor and she put me on a second anti anxiety medication to and help. I havenāt posted much on here because I will absolutely never post anything if Iāve not been totally sober. Iām glad to be back on the horse with you all. Day 2 check in.
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Day 23. Fighting Selfish Behavior, one day at a time. Had a good and productive evening yesterday. Tried to get 7.5 hours of sleep but my kids are sick so up through the night, getting meds and what not. Itās Friday so iām immediately listening to my books to counter my ADD brain. Itās the only way i can truly focus! Have a great day everyone.
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Day 770 somehow.
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You are 2 weeks from 300 days free of PMO. Think about that. Awesome.
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Day 2
Well I woke up late today 
which is sth I felt bad about 
However I hate to get stuck to negative feelingsā¦ so I started off doing what I had to do today even without planning
Now Iāve finished 80% of what I know I need to finish ā¦ feeling energetic
Drinking my coffee 
Have a nice day 
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Iām envious youāve even gotten 3 months 
Iāve never made it past 10-14 days. Alcohol is my crutch too but my binge drinking ends up like a game of Russian roulette. Sometimes a DUI, once a month maybe successful, usually missing work, and 80% chance of starting a fight with a loved oneā¦ Iām glad youāre back and trying. It gives me hope because I know to keep trying if I ever fail. But, I want thisā¦ itās just the cravings are getting to me but itās only day 11. One day at a time, we got this 
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Checking in on day 164. This is the last day of kids camp as a cabin leader. It has been a great week of weather and the kids have been so full of energy and excitement from early morning till midnight everyday. I am looking forward to my bed and some peace and quiet. 
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Day 11 check in. Guys Iām so uncomfortable 
I donāt know if itās guilt, regret, cravings, depression or what. But, Day 1 of vacationā¦ Higher Power pleaseee help me because I need assistance today. Iāve never dealt with any negative feelings or emotions without making a stiff one first 
39 years old and canāt processes emotions is insane. Iām still scared. Scared of who I was as a binge drinker, but even more scared to confront all these feelings sober. They feel so icky and uncomfortable. Might have to take my anxiety meds to just push through although Iāll be lethargic all day. I just want to know it gets easier because this is so hard.
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Iām sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. Yes, sitting with emotions is hard when you have always tried to escape them. For me, sobriety has given me the time, energy and clarity to learn about myself, and what I need, and what I can accept. Still a work in progress but miles away from where I was. Have faith in the process.
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Thatās all I want to know, it does get easier 
my emotions feel the size of the ocean. Impossible to contain.
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