Congratulations. 
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Day 270 substance free
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Long timeā¦ checking in day 436. Stay at it yāall!
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13 days clean from self-harm.
8 months 26 days clean from alcohol.
3 day clean from binge.
7 days clean from purge.
3 day clean from taurine.
4 months 5 days clean from weed.
1 year 5 months clean from benzene.
3 months 21 days clean from hypnotics.
19 days being less amout of sugar.
Trying to get back on normal and working tracking after what happened with me few days on this week.
My boyfriend is going away for few days far away from Prague so for now I will be by myself. We were yesterday at coffee shop to talk what happened and how we can solve it. First all, he told me he will not leave me, even if we will broke up (he meant broke up as hypothetical, abstract, he doesnāt want to break up with me), which made my anxiety lesser. Then he told me he doesnāt know what to do now, but he understands that we have hard time in our relationship and he needs to think of how to solve it and how to help me. For unknown reason I started to cry and he tightly hugged me, pat pating me on my head. I feltā¦ So safe. Somewhere in deep of my heart I realised itās gonna be okay soon anf that everything is how must be. Strange realisation. But it made me clearly more calm.
Then we were traveling with train. He told me one station in Prague is finally finished and it looks way more better than before. I can agree.
At train I told him about my system. He said heās happy to meet them and that he will take care od them, too.
Stas in our headspace/inner world smiled and it seemed he starts to trust a little bit to my boyfriend. My Stas doesnāt so much trust to people.
Otherwise.
Iām still feeling a bitā¦ I guessā¦ With mixed feelings? But I can say I feel better a little bit. So yeah. I will try meditate and do workouts, it helps me with my mental health. Also Stas in our headspace/inner world will work with making our little world, so everyone can be comfortable.
I hope everyone are okay. Have a nice day. 
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Day 235
Tea, banana, porridge, and yoghurt for brekkie, then walking Willow into town. Coffee stop and then home to watch a bit of the cricket. All accompanied by glorious sunshine.
Sober and so happy for that. I still need to learn to like me though.
The alcohol years mean I have to work hard at suppressing the shame of the past.
Some of those personality traits I developed feel like they are just under the surface. But Iām doing well, now, today.
The PTSD stuff niggles away at me too, in the pit of my stomach. The anxiety. The mistrust.
So Iāll focus on today and the pleasure of living in the present.
ODAAT
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Day 13, doing some gardening, feel really out of sorts (i wonāt drink). Canāt shake the mood off.may go for a macdonalds
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Had to reset my counter for my Disordered Eating. Ate some crap I didnāt need at midnight last night and ate too much. I made it 4 nights. Going to journal about what happened later today. Not horribly disappointed in myself because Iām more aware of what is going on and I know Iām making progress. And thatās what Iām aiming for. Progress not perfection.
Still alcohol free 1394 days. Grateful for sobriety and a clear mind to be able to tackle my food issues.
Including a picture of a sunset 
I took in April because Iād like the sun to set on my addiction.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1118. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Wow do I identify with this too. I wish I could treat myself the way I treat my loved ones. I donāt like myself, love myself or respect myself. I wonāt give up trying though.
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Oh my beautiful friend - what a nasty place to be mentally. YOU are absolutely not any of that!
I know you donāt see the āyouā you want to see when you look in the mirror but believe me love you are beautiful and from what iāve seen have an enormous heart. I wish you were able to see what we all see!
Addiction is a nasty BITCH and with it comes our guilt, shame, mental battles and oh so much more.
1393 days of AF - are your kidding me? that is fantastic and not easy and youāve done it - now you are on day 4 from ED -YOU GO ON WITH YOUR AMAZING SELF!!!
I do think you need to love and care for yourself and show yourself that you do deserve everything that you have and so much more!
Hopefully the rest helped and you are in a better mental state today - i know that the dark thoughts and negative talk can run deep and suck us in ā You are strong and i need you to show up for yourself!
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Day 705: no pills
Day 17: no credit cards
Day 1: no grazing
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When I find myself wandering in my mind thinking negative things I have a plan to pull myself into the present. Iāll snap out of it by asking myselfā¦
what is the most dominant colour around me?
whatās the least dominant?
what can I hear?
what can I smell?
what can I see?
I guess itās mindfulness.
But any method you can think of to break the moment of negative thought can be helpful. Maybe.
Give it a go yourself. Iāve found it helpful. 
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@mno Sorry for a crappy start to your Friday ā I do hope that your therapy session helped and brought you purpose. Strength and love my friend 
@pagan great job on day 8. Giving up everything at once does not always work for everyone. You know your body and mind best so do what you can ā great job on tackling the booze!
@sobermedic Yikes, Iām sorry about the kidney stone. I havenāt experienced but know how awful they can be. I do hope you find relief soon enough. Its great to purge your life from negativity and move forward with your sober living (amazing how this comes so naturally once we find clarity in sobriety). Best of luck with your job hunt.
@nastya_is_fighting so lovely to read your post today. Be well my friend
@brian1965uk I do hope that you are able to start liking / loving yourself ā you are a wonderful being with so much life and love. I have just bookmarked your plan for getting out of a negative head space - thank you friend. This is super helpful.
@crystalclear so grateful to see a different mindset today ā Progress not Perfection is exactly the key ā you are making strides in progress. Be proud
@lisa07 HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!!! Hope you have a fabulous Friday 
Checking in on Friday morning -
Its 9 am and iāve had a few cups of coffee - feeling energized and have caught up on a few threads on TS - now itās time to get showered and tackle the day the best i way i know how. Iām calm and content and ready for whatever! Have a wonderful sober day my beautiful friends.
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@Mbwoman hope you and fiancƩ are both feeling better and ready for your big day tomorrow. Do share pucs of your beach wedding with us. Deep breathes today - i can imagine a lot of last minute items need tending to but i hope you get to enjoy these moments 
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Yes. One voice at a time. One day at a time. Many more of both to go.
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Day 174.
Tomorrow Iām leaving my little island. All good things must come to an end, I guess. I donāt know how I feel, thereās a lot to do but Iām absolutely exhausted.
Likeā¦ I gotta finish my work, gotta pack, gotta go for one last swim, gotta get food. But I just wanna hide under a blankie or something.
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Day 44. Iām doing ok. Oversleeping alot still really would like to get that in check. Also beating myself up a little bc Iām trying to diet better, even getting in some cardio and eating the way I should and Iāve not lost any weight. Itās really annoying. Anyways Iām heading for the gym, yesterday I saw a guy there and he was deadlifting like 700 something pounds. I tried to look like I wasnāt staring but I was mad impressed lol. Much love everyone
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