Second check in of the day, not quite so positive. I crashed hard earlier, a proper chronic fatigue crash. Fell asleep as soon as I finished work and then had intense guilt for not spending time with my kids. I just couldn’t get out of bed. Cancelled the gym so husband was late home. He has been home a couple of hours and has rescued things a bit, planned dinner etc. I am just so disappointed that I am like this on Day 3 of the holidays. I have resisted self-medicating with wine and had a bath. Hopefully an early night. And this weather is awful, rain again!!!
@lastry Well done Fiona on 16days of sobriety. Do have your go to plan for support / na drinks / activities during your holiday so that you can protect your sobriety. I’ve heard way too many stories of losing sobriety to that “one” drink. Sending strength and hope you have a wonderful relaxing time. @dmcg1987 I’m sorry you are feeling ill and having to work through it – I do hope that you are home now and resting and hopefully able to take care of yourself so you feel better soon. Sending you healing vibes @sobermedic HELL Yeah to your 60 days! Well done and keep up the amazing work @chase.e.u Congrats on your double digits! I do hope that by talking with you your friend is also able to find the strength to choose a path of recovery. Well done my being an inspiration and a motivator. @dustysprungfield Man the disease is a tricky one – I know the second I let my guard down I’m in trouble. Well done on jumping right back into your recovery. These slip ups remind us that we need to be vigilant and protect our sobriety. Glad to see you here with us – we are stronger together. @SelfLove_42 WOW – I do love the experiment you have laid for yourself – I do agree that sleep is when we allow our bodies and minds the time it needs to heal so sleep is essential to our recoveries. Sending you strength in keeping to the schedule!
I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I’m glad that you are able to see the warning signs ahead of time – are you able to talk this out with anyone (therapist, counsellor…etc)? The mind is an amazing thing and I do think that we can work on re-training it – it does take a lot of work and we can not do it alone. I do hope you are able to find help with this so you do not fall into the dark hole. We are here for you too so please keep talking it out / checking in (that may help give you some relief as well). Much love my friend – you are not alone. Just saw your update – glad you have someone to talk to and hopefully they can help you so you don’t find yourself in the darkness. @juli1 so proud of you for not giving in to that voice and instead forming a trick to help you protect your sobriety. Way to flex your sober muscles. @johann117 I do hope that your day becomes brighter as it progresses. Nicotine is a tough habit but you have shown your strength with your sobriety and i know you can do this too. Grumpy A-holes (quitting cigarettes/ nicotine products) is a great thread for some tips and support. @jennyH so sorry that you crashed - grateful that your husband was able to help with dinner / kids - i do hope that you are able to have a guilt free rest (your body is screaming for it) and gain more energy for tomorrow.
Checking in on Wednesday afternoon
Not much done today as i conserved all my energy to go see a friend for lunch. It was fun to put on makeup and something other than sweats. Made it home in time as - Severe storm is coming through and the sirens are blaring for a tornado watch. Wow - the sky looks amazing! Catching up was great but now super exhausted. I am going to try and move a bit and see what i can accomplish with the rest of the day.
Have a lovely addiction free day my sober friends… sending much love
Thank you so much. I am going to just take the rest I need right now and not feel guilty.
I feel bad complaining about our boring endless rain when you face such dramatic weather there! I hope the storm isn’t too bad there.
Sounds like you had a lovely lunch, so nice to really make the effort. Hope it didn’t take it out of you too much and you can enjoy the rest of the day too. I always think naps after those lunches are all the sweeter
thank you - yes, it is weird weather for sure as just an hour ago it was so hot and humid and the sun was brutal - still nothing like the heat they are experiencing in the south… i think we are all having some weird ass weather – it’s ok to complain when it is never ending… hopefully this storm will cool off things a bit.
i am tired but also need to eat something (only drank my na drinks at lunch as i can’t eat anything on the menu and i left so quickly that i was only able to take a kind bar with me - now 3:30 and i need to fuel my body LOL - i do agree that after lunch naps are so great (i am starting to enjoy them more and more these days) –
Well rest well my friend - sending you energy vibes so that you wake up fully energized
The toxicity level in my brain has been a solid 4 for a bit. Several days ago, I fantasized for about 5-10 minutes before stopping myself. Other than that, I’ve been practically lust and fantasy free for the past two weeks.
Total abstenance is the only way… during my last clean stretch I leaned a bit on non alc beer which was a bad habit and in some ways kept the bad habits alive. I’m going to steer clear of AF beer this time around. Also I set a goal of staying dry until the summer when I would enjoy the reward of indulging. I’ll have to put a bit more thought into that one this time.
Not feeling so good today feel very anxious all day absolutely lashing rain all day so stuck inside all day you wouldnt put the mother in law out in it.
Usually by now I’d be on the beer if I felt this anxious and bored I suppose the fact I am not is a small step forward.
Heading to bed now to get to sleep looking forward to going soccer training tomorrow gives me something to do.
But on the plus side went to the shop and saw these so decided to treat myself to a few new bits for my collection after reaching double digits yesterday
Hey all
Got out of the hospital yesterday. When I checked in Thursday afternoon, I told the nurse it was probably alcohol poisoning. She said it sounds more like late-stage liver failure. What made it worse, after my CT scan was done, the doctor said there’s an anamoly “we can’t rule out it’s a tumor”.
And I have this horrible inexplicable weight gain.
I’m just feeling super lonely right now. Sorry about the rant.
Waiting on the tumor results, but they did determine with certainty that I have gallstones. I got a whole bunch of appointments coming up with different specialists if I can keep track of them all…
Are they able to help you with the gallstones? Diet, medication, surgery?
Im sure you feel overwhelmed. This is for your health and hopefully bring you a better quality of life. I do hope that you are able to keep the appointments so you can start getting the help you need.
I’m sorry, I haven’t caught up. I’m ok and sober. Just going through one hell of an existential crisis.
I might post about my feelings in more details in the next few days. But just wanted to check in and let you all know I’m … well, not ok. But sober. That’s one thing that never changing. No matter what.
glad to read you…
Although it’s not good news.
You will make it through all the appointments.
I am very sorry for your health problems…
But there is support!
Not sure if it helps, but I send you some feeling of being connected buddy
I do feel a bit overwhelmed. I’ve never had medical coverage before. I used to have one appointment a week:my therapist.
Something kinda funny happened during my testing. They needed esophageal photos, so I’m lying on my left side with a nasal cannula on my face. They stuff this orange plastic ring into my mouth that barely fits. “Just inhale”, doc says. I hear this “psssshhhhh” of a gas valve being opened.
I’m still lying there with my Pulp Fiction mouthpiece and someone is patting me on the shoulder saying, “that was great! Can you sit up or do you need a minute?”
“What? It’s over already?”
“Yeah, you did great. We got all the pictures we needed.”
I felt no loss of consciousness whatsoever. I could post the selfies that go with this story, but you’d never forgive me
