Good evening. I’m checking in on day 80. I feel I should be interacting more often with others on here, but I just pop in to check in 
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Total abstenance is the only way… during my last clean stretch I leaned a bit on non alc beer which was a bad habit and in some ways kept the bad habits alive. I’m going to steer clear of AF beer this time around. Also I set a goal of staying dry until the summer when I would enjoy the reward of indulging. I’ll have to put a bit more thought into that one this time.
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Checking in day 11
Hi all hope everybody is doing ok today 
Not feeling so good today feel very anxious all day absolutely lashing rain all day so stuck inside all day you wouldnt put the mother in law out in it.
Usually by now I’d be on the beer if I felt this anxious and bored I suppose the fact I am not is a small step forward.
Heading to bed now to get to sleep looking forward to going soccer training tomorrow gives me something to do.
But on the plus side went to the shop and saw these so decided to treat myself to a few new bits for my collection after reaching double digits yesterday 
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Hey all 
Got out of the hospital yesterday. When I checked in Thursday afternoon, I told the nurse it was probably alcohol poisoning. She said it sounds more like late-stage liver failure. What made it worse, after my CT scan was done, the doctor said there’s an anamoly “we can’t rule out it’s a tumor”.
And I have this horrible inexplicable weight gain.
I’m just feeling super lonely right now. Sorry about the rant.
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Oh Mark - i am so sorry you are going through this.
When will you get the results from your tests? Were they able to confirm or rule out anything?
I do hope that you throw out any remaining alcohol in the house and give your body a fair shot at healing.
Sending you healing vibes and strength my friend. 
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Waiting on the tumor results, but they did determine with certainty that I have gallstones. I got a whole bunch of appointments coming up with different specialists if I can keep track of them all…
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Hello all,
Checking in on Five Years Sober!
God Bless!
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Are they able to help you with the gallstones? Diet, medication, surgery?
Im sure you feel overwhelmed. This is for your health and hopefully bring you a better quality of life. I do hope that you are able to keep the appointments so you can start getting the help you need.
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HEY! Congratulations on five whole years! 
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Day 193.
I’m sorry, I haven’t caught up. I’m ok and sober. Just going through one hell of an existential crisis.
I might post about my feelings in more details in the next few days. But just wanted to check in and let you all know I’m … well, not ok. But sober. That’s one thing that never changing. No matter what.
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Wow huge congratulations!
Always Happy to read your checkins but this one with 5 years is amazing. Great job man!
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Hi Mark,
glad to read you…
Although it’s not good news.
You will make it through all the appointments.
I am very sorry for your health problems…
But there is support!
Not sure if it helps, but I send you some feeling of being connected buddy 
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Day 11
Let’s keep grinding the days out
Keep fighting 
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I do feel a bit overwhelmed. I’ve never had medical coverage before. I used to have one appointment a week:my therapist.
Something kinda funny happened during my testing. They needed esophageal photos, so I’m lying on my left side with a nasal cannula on my face. They stuff this orange plastic ring into my mouth that barely fits. “Just inhale”, doc says. I hear this “psssshhhhh” of a gas valve being opened.
I’m still lying there with my Pulp Fiction mouthpiece and someone is patting me on the shoulder saying, “that was great! Can you sit up or do you need a minute?”
“What? It’s over already?”
“Yeah, you did great. We got all the pictures we needed.”
I felt no loss of consciousness whatsoever. I could post the selfies that go with this story, but you’d never forgive me 
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Checking in sober - day 10. I get a little discouraged looking at that number because earlier this year I was up to 115 days or so. But I have to start somewhere, right? Sleep is still terrible. Crazy dreams. Trouble winding down at night. But that’s my own fault - too much screen time before bed. That’s another addiction for another day. I have my ADHD testing tomorrow. Oddly, I hope I have it because that’s something we haven’t tried to treat yet. Im afraid they will just tell me it’s all due to major depression. And that would suck because I’ve been getting treatment for that for YEARS, and it always comes back. There are a couple somewhat extreme treatment options left to try, but super expensive and insurance won’t cover. I guess I’ll just have to see how tomorrow goes.
Take care of yourselves!
OFDAAT
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So when’s it all going to be enough? Like At what point do you realize what the drinking is doing?
You’ve been here a long time. You could probably fill an entire book with the advice you have received. So at some point you actually have to put all of that advice into action.
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Get better soon
I’ve had alcohol poisoning be4 also
It caused severe dehydration and the dehydration messed my heart rhythm for a few days. Because of my heart rhythm I was in the hospital for over a week
Alcohol is super dangerous. We drink wayy too much
P.s. I got alcohol poisoning from 1 glass of crown royal mixed with water + a little bit of wine. Sometimes I guess it doesn’t take much
Please feel better asap
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@JazzyS I dedicated my 30 days to you, an amazing woman, full of care for others. Thank you so so so much 
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