These past couple of days have been overly stressful and I’m really not great at handling stress.
I’m behind on work, I gotta jump through insanely frustrating beaurocratic hoops (I can’t get into it), and there’s a health scare in my other half’s family.
My family is driving me up the walls. And they’re not even doing anything particularly bad… it’s just… I don’t even know what it is. But whatever it is, it’s pissing me off!
I’m irationally furious and full of rage. When it’s not rage, it’s anxiety. I cried 5 times in the past couple of days. And it’s so hard to keep my emotions in check.
But I’m sober. As long as I don’t drink, I can deal with all this shit.
Maybe a walk in to make an appointment might be the best since phone is not working - wishing you luck with this.
Appreciate your sweet words my friend - been a bit off lately but still keeping positive attitude and trying to make the most of the day(s).
That mantra is GOLD - no wonder needed - Existence should most definitely be celebrated daily. Thank you for this.
Checking in, hitting the road for a few days off the grid for some tent camping in the woods of southern Wisconsin. My counter will roll over to 700 days later on tonight and I can’t think of a better way to celebrate a milestone (of sorts). Time amongst the trees, bird watching at the lake, early morning hikes, campfire cooking and plenty of quality time with my fella and my pup. See ya all this weekend.
I do hope relaxing with a book helped. “pieces of emergency chocolate” – love this, I too have my stash by my bed of dark chocolate for when I feel triggered. Glad you are doing self care instead of giving into the cravings.
Checking in Day 563
Wasnt going to check in today as i felt like isolating. But thats exactly why im here now. Being stuck in my head isnt any good. Seems like i have ALOT of catching up to do with reading everyones check ins, which ill do shortly.
Today has been a whirlwind of emotions. My son starts school tmrw and im full of emotion. Im excited but also nervous. There have been a ton of phone calls happening today from nurses and the principal and teacher, sort of finalizing all the fine details for him. Ya its been alot. Im definitly going to have to stay busy tmrw so that im not obsessing about whats happening at school for him and wether hes having fun or not. Ive got a basic plan anyway of things that i have to take care of, so all of that should keep me busy.
Health wise - I exercised this morning and have eaten well so far today. Had to reset my ED timer last night. Grateful that im back on track with my program now. After doing some review work on what happened, i am able to better plan for the future
Recovery wise - All is well thankfully. I get small urges to use but nothing major. I did my recovery morning routine today and that always helps. Grateful to be clean and sober!
Hope everyone is doing okay overall. Grateful for u all and to be a part of this community
Well done on checking in! That is an awful lot going on and your mind must be in so many different places right now. Hope it goes well tomorrow and you can relax.
Thank you. I’m really trying to embrace being a part of this community after trying to hide my problem from everyone else. It’s nice to be able to talk about it.
@Catmama23 congrats on 3 weeks @Sabrina80 congrats on all the 3s and the -ive test @Noshame happy anniversary for yesterday good luck with getting your license back
1115 days no alcohol.
580 days no cocaine.
95 days no vape.
Therapy was hard today. We were doing an exercise where we talk compassionately to our angry, anxious, and sad parts of ourselves. We only got through the angry and anxious ones. At the end of the session the therapist said I was very quiet today and that my whole body language was closed off, I said it’s because I feel depressed today, and I do.
Well day 98 check in, so close to that triple digit mark again. Im doing good, today i slept pretty hard and I went with it bc i needed it, i made my evening class and it went well, reading the the theory, Practice and trends in human services, by Edward nuekrug, i am struggling to remember what i read really bad, and I’m writing notes and repeating things over and over. Im excited to be pushing through and doing my best. Just trying to learn and be amazing at what i do. Much love everyone ttyl
@butterflymoonwoman how are you doing no Dana? Glad that you did check in and didn’t let your mind isolate. I do hope that things are easier for you tomorrow and all the phone calls go smoothly. Much love my friend – I do hope you find time for your selfcare. @catmancam ah man I’m sorry about your therapy – sounds like a rough exercise. How do you feel now after having done the exercise? Sending you loads of love my friend – hope your depression is better now @SelfLove_42 grateful that you were able to see your trigger and humanize the selfie and not just see the physical. I would say that is progress my friend.
So happy for you Mike – you are doing amazing – just keep it up odaat! @bt824 Great job on stacking on the days! Not today Satan is right!
Checking in on Wednesday night
252 free of alcohol and weed
667 days free of cigarettes
I had a blah start to the day - took a lot to just get some basic computer work done but luckily i was able to do a half hour walk with my mom this evening and then also was able to walk around the neighborhood searching for best view of the Super Moon. Tired now and ready to get to bed. Looking forward to tomorrow - hoping its a little more productive. Hope you all had a wonderful addiction free day - sending everyone much love
Thank u for checking in on me. U actually have no idea how much that thought means to me. I feel… honestly idk how to put words to describe how i feel. One part of me is excited for my son, the other part of me is worried and nervous. And i think me feeling this way is partly my fault bcuz i am sooo protective over my son and never have allowed anyone to watch him since his diagnosis (like respite for example). So now that im forced to allow these other people to care for him, im extremely on edge. Its a big change. I have some plans for tmrw tho for things to do. Self care, exercise, and an errand. It should help me keep my mind occupied. I am also able to check in with the school office tmrw about how hes doing. So thats great! Anyway… i think im rambling. I just want to send u hugs jasmine for caring and for thinking of me. Some days i feel very alone so that thought means alot to me.
Of course love - think of you as a very close friend. Always in my thoughts and want the best for you
I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through at the moment. It is a lot! I can understand the protectiveness and wanting to make sure your son has the best care and attention when you are not around. I wouldn’t say you are at fault for this - I don’t know if any good mother who wouldn’t have done exactly what you are doing. I am grateful that you are able to check in with the school to ease your mind.
I do like your plans for self care and distraction. We are also right here if you need to blow off some anxiety.
Hugs right back to you Dana! You are not alone my friend - reach out for connection when you start feeling this way. Love ya loads my friend
Checking in
394 days no booze
12 days no tobacco
Today was a busy day with work. I had therapy today and that went well. I met a Canadian couple and cooked them chicken. They offered me beer, I said no thanks with confidence and I wasn’t offered again. I like that I am at a point where it isn’t a big deal anymore. I no longer feel like I have to explain myself and I no longer feel uncomfortable being around people that drink. And how about that super blue moon tonight? It’s Huge!
Very busy day at work a new account to manage oh lucky me! I refuse to let this job win. Stress was well managed today.
Picked up my parents ashes for Satin aka my DIL. Witch left them outside on the ground. I guess it’s better then the garage cabinet with the dog food. We can now begin to make plans to spread their ashes. It was bitter out they are home.
Had a therapy session and I feel after spending the majority of my adult life in therapy I’m actually making steps forward. Boundaries set with a lot of toxic people in my life. Responding vs reacting.
My son’s birthday is Friday and I simply cannot bring myself to acknowledge it. I sent several texts about my parents without any acknowledgment so why bother.
So thankful for this community and the support. Good night sober family
Wishing you good luck with the license process
this made me laugh – glad they are soundly asleep and you are having some quality “me” time
good luck with getting your license back 
