@bjonns Hey friend – you should be proud that you are getting right back on the sobriety track and making an appointment with a counselor and coming here to check in. I do believe you can beat this demon with vigilance and support. You know that you are not being true to yourself if you are having to sneak around. We are here for you.
Great Marianna – so thrilled to hear about your support at home and with your therapist. Do hope that you can figure out the trigger. Proud of how well you are handling it and utilizing your tools. @curtis-81 sounds like a fantastic day even with the pissing off of people – hell with those that can’t respect boundaries. You protect that sobriety of yours and keep kicking ass. @danam56 so happy to hear that you will finally be able to pick up the ashes and have your parents with you. I do hope that all goes smoothly for you today. @brokenwolf seems to me that you have gone above and beyond for these friendships. You don’t need these type of thoughtless people in your life. I do now see you as awkward or weird. Are you able to join meet up groups in your area to connect with people that might have similar interests. I do know how socializing is super important. @1in8billion been missing your check in’s friend- hope you are doing well @soberbilly grateful that it turned into a minor storm and you are safe! @sabrina80 glad you were able to get out grocery shopping today – feeling any better? The 333 is an awesome number my friend. Do not look at that scale – with covid you could still be inflamed and that is what is reflecting on the scale. Just take care of you and get healthy. You look beautiful! @mia2 grateful that the universe didn’t let you cancel the appointment. Have you started looking into multiple therapists to weed out who you fit with the best? Yes – we are all just humans and sometimes the therapist can see an outsiders view of our lives and help us untangle our mess more easily. Not that they can see into our minds but rather maybe with the training they have be able to better guide us to where we need to go. Our own minds and experiences take it from there and make it work. Glad you are symptom free today . @mira_d I do hope that by checking in you are feeling a bit more “in sorts”. I loved the 3 categories of friendships and wow – that totally made sense. Hope you find time for you while the kids are off at school. Love the idea of beading and selling at Farmers Markets or possibly even Etsy.
Huh – that is an idea. Guilt can be so damaging indeed. Are you able to work on forgiving yourself? You are no longer that person. You are working on yourself and being the best version of you today. It is time to let go and stop punishing yourself. You deserve to be a happy and healthy. Maybe write out all the things that you think are causing the guilty feelings and make amends with yourself for each of them. Big hugs my friend Just saw Billy’s post and it is spot on!
Im not sure if this is helpful at all if not you BLOW RIGHT ON PAST ME
Honestly comments that people target towards me, they can be hard and depending how they are said…i mean there can be room for interpretation. Im not sure he needed or didnt need to share anything, but he did.
Thing is, there are all kinds of people on ALL kinds of journeys. And life is so different for so many of us, and hes just in a different place in his journey then you. He may not be drinking like he used to, and he may never again. He may come to a place where he needs help, he may not and he may quit again, he may not. Its hard when we feel like someone elses stuff is being directed at us (youre not drinking bc youre the alcoholic which means you have no self control, whereas I can drink again bc I no longer drink alcoholically). I think what would have pissed me off is that the comment reallllllly didnt need to be made, and sounds more like hes got something going on in his brain about what youre doing that he could not do. I know it may seem like its directed the one way, IM FINE U HAVE AN ISSUE but the way I read that, knowing us problem users, is that he feels some type a way about himself and hearing about your sobriety brought it out of him. I vould TOTALLY BE WRONG.
Im not saying not to let it piss you off…we dont deserve all the stigma and judgment that has been lobbed at us and it is hard to shake. BUT, marinade in it and i hope you realize that hey man, hes on his own journey. Maybe hes doing whats right for him, and Im doing wtf is right for me. And in response to comments like that I just be like: “oh thats really great. Im enjoying my life so much right now, i may never go back even if i could!” Theres really just no response to that. Youre doing you, hes doing him and I think his comment was more about what seeing you and your ability to decline alcohol and even be like “yeh im 3 yrs” obvs made him feel something or he would have said not one thing.
Anyway. Keep at it. You bring that FURY & FIRE to the next 24 & thanks for sharing. Oh also, im the legend of an Angry Blond so like I share this perspective with you but I got to remember this shit too when these interactions happen. People say all kinds of dumb things, and Im learning to just let it go. Sometimes
Thank you, I will indeed work on this
Thank you for sharing. The nervous system is absolutley very complex, its so much more then I could ever imagine. I read and learn, but it so so much.
@JazzyS it is an idea rigth?When I read it, it just hit so hard, and I was like Maybe thats whats going on.
I have hard time forgiving my self, Im not the person I was and Im working hard with my self.
Day 507
Is a bit challenging at work, hoping I end the week without feeling completely overwhelmed.
Sometimes by the time I hit the weekend I am too tired to do much else besides resting at home.
Maybe I need some time off
Day 4 no weed
Day 42 no vapes and ciggs, (day one off the lozenges and so on until otherwise)
Day 111 no alcohol
Yesterday me and my wife celebrated 1 year of marriage with cheese cake and a mocktail(sparkling water sangria) and she got me this awesome stainless steel necklace that’s heavy and thick and has a very accepted length. I’m so happy to be her husband and no need for a substance to celebrate and we still had so much fun.
I fell asleep at like 8 in the evening and woke up at 10 in the morning. I’m actually on my way to start the process of my license.
I hope you can find some down time
Remember to conserve your energy at work. Set the pace. I’m sure there’s plenty of time today to get enough done. You got this
I get frustrated with work a lot
I’ve learned that I’ll eventually make it home and it’s not worth stressing over
Checking in on day 810. On travel for work. I just realized there’s a stocked mini bar in my room. Oh man, a couple years ago that would’ve been a one-way ticket on the struggle bus. Today I don’t even care. I’m using it to keep my sparkling waters cold Much love
Thank you for your message, I very much agree that I need to slow down a bit.
I guess when I quit last year I may have leaned a bit too much on the work so that I would not think that much on the other stuff, keeping my mind occupied was a must, and yes, there’s consequences.
Let’s both mot allow ourselves to be fustrated, is just a job they say!
I want to but they have such weird “opening times” to take calls… maybe I should just crash an office tomorrow and ask for an appointment in person. Thanks for the reminder actually I should probably try this.
Hope you’re doing okay, you lovely person . (Feel amazing but very tired so Im not reading a lot on here right now). Really hope your body isn’t giving you too much of a hard time right now and that you have some peace in your life and in your mind!
Yesterday’s mantra from this app was:
“The wonder of existence should be celebrated everyday”. I really love this.
Lack of motivation and low mood today. Really craving a drink on my way home from work. Tired & Emotional being triggers. I won’t have one but it’s made me even more grouchy
Had a few pieces of emergency chocolate when I got home and going to convince hubby to make dinner whilst I put my feet up and start a new book.
Hopefully an early night will help me reset too X
Hey jazzy. First day of in person went well. Wrote an essay about my addiction so that the teacher could see where we’re all at. Also had to pair up and introduce are partner to the class. Didn’t do bad and didn’t get nailed with to much home work. My remote professor gave us two chapters to read and I asked her to stay behind and just asked for tips on being able to remember what I’m reading better. She was super nice and sweet about it. And so have all the other teachers. I’m use to the way my high school teachers treated me
Checking in, 61 days sober.
Difficult day kids-wise, today I didn’t play any yt or netflix for them, they need some detox from screentime, and oldest one had serious withdrawal symptoms
But now they are sleeping, it’s 9 o’clock, I just ate oreo ice cream and I’m watching standup comedy on yt In your face, little suckers!
Appreciate that bro! Also really liked your post on Forgiveness and negativity coming from your nervous system! As someone who’s literally sabotoged my nervous with porn, i have to Sift through all my bad thoughts and think about exactly what i saw that day. if i’m struggling with negativity, could i have spent too much time online, too much time taking in dopamine, and my brain is now ‘crying out for more’ and so i’m snappy and angry? This has played out 1000 times for me. That’s why i fight to practice mindfullness, i ask myself, ok, where is this coming from?? I put an ear piece in and little to something very positive/recovery stuff to help me calm down.
For sure an idea and a good one at that – we forget to associate our health concerns with our emotions and the two are linked. I believe many studies have been done to this effect.
Besides - what do you have to lose - giving yourself selfcare and learning to forgive yourself helps you cut the chains you have bound yourself in and it may also help with your physical health journey - a win win.
it is not easy to do so but i am glad to hear that you are working hard on this and i do wish you strength and love in this journey. only you can set you free (i know it sounds cheesy but it is true).
Just saw Billy’s post and it is spot on!
Much love
