Try to check in regardless of your mood friend. Good days and bad ones. We’re in this together. I’m glad to see you. Get better soon. 
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Congratulations!!! I have a ‘friend’ like that, and I’m sure I’ve been that ‘friend’. A v tough situation and you nailed it!!!
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Thanks 
I tend to keep myself to myself when the depressive mood hits me. I know I shouldn’t, but still I do…
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Checking in.
Just as my holidays started I think I caught sth at work… so annoying…trying to counteract and hope its not too bad bc Im planning on taking a city trip.
Today I have messaged an old friend (never had an addiction problem) that reached out after three years to rekindle our friendship… said that i dont want to pursue that anymore. We met three times recently and it was… idk…he is so lovely but it didnt make me feel so good by of my bad teenage years.
I tried to explain that to him in my message. Our friendship was a light in the tunnel of my teenage years, but i have left those painful times behind me, with a lot of work.
Rekindling a relationship that is tied closely to that time turned out to not make me feel so good even if i really love that friend. I wrote a message explaining that and telling them that it wasnt personal, that ill always treasure the friendship and hold it in my heart, that im proud of them and believe in them, even if I am on another path now, you get it.
I am tempted to feel bad and guilty for it, but until now its very managable. Ive been working on grounding myself in the moment so… Im telling myself that I dont have to feel bad. Even though it must be painful for my friend. (Thankfully he’s in therapy so Im sure he’ll have support to deal with it in a healthy way).
The old friend is a lovely soul who has really bad parents and still stayed strong and achieves so much… Really sucks that I had to tell him that. Especially when he reached out to me after years…
but also Im pretty sure maybe we both felt that it wasnt the same anymore?
It sucks and is hurtful but… thats just the truth and I had to say it. I really tried to get across how much I cherished them and all that.
Idk if I will get a bad answer or no answer or an understanding one… i have anxiety to open my messenger to see what he might have responded. But its not as bad as i expected.
I used to put a lot into how others would react, but now im focusing more on my health and my peace.
Should he react badly or ghost me, than thats okay. I cant do more than take care of myself and be truthful about what’s good for me and what isn’t.
Feels bad but i know im taking care of myself.
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Thank you Oh yes definitely I I’ve been that "friend " too and I understand her not believing me when I’m saying I’m stopping, I’ve said it a million times over, but that’s the first time we’ve went out for lunch and I’ve not touched a drink, yet still poked and prodded for me to have wine. I sat this afternoon thinking about the times I’ve done that to people too, “aw just have 1 more” and so on, now I know how that feels on the receiving end especially if your not a big drinker, lesson’s learned today
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Check in 17 days. Enjoying sobriety. Got up and golfed at 7:20 am with my Dad. Woke up on time feeling well, had time to stop for coffee, practiced a few putts before the others arrived. Played decent and felt good all day. Grateful and just trying to notice even small improvements. Onward TS crew! 
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Checking in. Over 8 months sober in the bag now and feel very proud. The kids go back to school wednesday and for the first time ever i was sober and present for them the whole school holidays. Weve had an amazing time together. Im glad we had that together as a family and building lasting memories finally. 
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@CATMANCAM I love the letter you wrote to yourself 
what a good thing to do!!!
Day 7 here.
Less tired and definitely more focused
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Checking in
399 days no booze
17 days no tobacco
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Turns out I’ve got pneumonia. So another few days off of work at least. I’m glad I have some sick hours. But I am still losing tips for the week. Oh well. It’ll be ok as long as I’m not sick on my daughter’s birthday
Day 330 sober
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Just doing a night check in. Felt nice bc someone from the work phone at twin oaks messaged me and said hey were having a cook out and Natasha is making her famous pies so we wanted to let you know. I was honestly kind of in aww bc i was there for a year and never seen them do that for anyone who left, I can’t lie i felt special and just happy. So i went over after class and ate some food and had some of that famous pie. It was so good and i’m so full.
We have some homework do this Sunday, i have to write a letter to my future self and that will be cool, i will use the writing tutors for that. I held back my hus 101 teacher and asked her if the accommodation proffers had gotten ahold of her yet and she said she did receive the email and will look into tonight. Idk guys i know ive expressed this a bunch already, but ive read this professors chapter like 3 times now and I can’t really recite any of it, and thats with writing down important notes and that really just bugs me. And worries me, i don’t know how else to retain what I’m reading. Im starting to have some pretty negative self talk because of it. And i don’t want to seem like a baby but i feel like one. But yeah much love, tonight was good other wise and I hope you all had wonderful evenings.
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Omg girl 
praying u get over this quickly 
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3.48 days no marijuana
48.16 no smoking
117.09 no alcohol
Checking in sober looking forward to a good night’s sleep goodnight
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Congratulations on 1 week!! 
woo hoo!
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Hey mike dont sweat not being able to recite what youve read. Try writing down the top 5 things you learned from the reading.
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Don’t beat yourself up. My sponsor asked me to read a book that has only 114 pages. I got through 80 pages and for some reason had to put it down. A week later I had no idea what I had read. I really enjoyed the book. My short term memory is killing me. I told my Sponsor I intend to start over and finish it.
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Ugh that is rough. I hope you feel better soon!
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Evening Check In
Day 568
Tried my best to take it easy today. Im preparing for another awake overnight shift with my son. To be honest… im pretty angry. Ive been awake since 530am and wont be able to get sleep (hopefully) until 10pm tmrw night. Im angry at the scheduler that this happened. I literally was bawling in the shower bcuz im sooo tired of just… everything. Our nurse booked her time off WAY in advance apparently and so there shouldve been no reason why im having to do this shift and potentially tmrw nights shift too. I have plans tmrw for myself once my son goes off to school and that also includes getting a hold of someone that can help me get a nurse in for tmrw night. I cant stay awake for over 2 days straight. They need to understand that. Praying that tonight i dont end up binge eating bcuz im overtired. And praying that my son sleeps well so that its a smooth night. I will tey to stay positive and get thru this like i always do. Have a good night everyone! 
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@HOLYSQUID I am so sorry that you have been struggling with your health and not getting any answers. I am in a similar boat my friend and have found myself not wanting to do my gratitude’s or proper check ins. I do know that being connected to my TS peeps is the one thing that keeps me from turning to my DOC. I am happy to see you keeping sober at 182 days! We are here if you need to talk or vent. We are stronger together! Being alone in a depressive state is unhealthy for many reasons – here at least you are among friends and folks that can relate.
Mia this is growth. I know it’s hard to let go of some relationships but knowing when to let go for your own recovery is progress. You do not want to be tied to anything / anyone that could be a potential trigger or a constant reminder of something you are trying to move away from. I am very proud of how you have handled the situation and how you are preparing yourself for whatever reaction your friend may have. You come first and I am happy to see you taking steps to protect your recovery.
YES!! How precious these memories will be for you and your kids. Well done on your 8+ months of sobriety
@scorpn Oh love I am sorry to hear this – I do hope you have someone taking care of you. Please get plenty of rest with fluids and hopefully the doctors given meds to help heal you quicker. Sending you loads of healing vibes!
@mindofsobermike Hey Mike – first of all that is so awesome about being invited for the meal at twin oaks. You obviously made some friendly connections there. I know many times I have to re read something many times just to understand it. Sometimes I have to read it out loud or even try to explain what I’m reading to someone else in terms that they may be able to understand it. By doing this, it really helped enforce it for me. I am hoping that these techniques or maybe others that your tutor can offer will be of help. Do not beat yourself up over this and try to refrain from the negative talk. Much love my friend
@butterflymoonwoman Oh Dana I am frustrated for you. I can’t imagine the feelings you must be feeling right now. I am furious at the damn scheduler and I do hope you are able to figure something out for tomorrow evening. I am praying that it is a easy / smooth night for you and your son. Sending you much strength and energy to get you through this patch. Loads of love and calmness too
Checking in on Monday night
257 free of alcohol and weed
672 days free of cigarettes
Honestly been a few rough days. My Friday PT appointment went well but left me with immense pain. I was puking from the intensity of pain for 2 days and finally was able to get somesleep last night. I was able to move again yesterday afternoon which was a huge achievement. Needless to say, I have not done any of my PT exercises and will be calling them tomorrow to discuss as my next appointment is on Wednesday and I can not go through this again. The good thing was that it got my mind off of every other symptom (silver lining). Everything was manageable today. Got a little bit of work done and managed to go for a 30 min walk with my mom. She has been a fucking saint! I am truly blessed.
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