I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. It seems your family consists of a bunch of super self-righteous and insensitive people that I most likely couldn’t live with. If they are straight up against you and don’t offer you any chance to talk, it might not make sense to maintain that relationship to them any longer. They can’t forbid you to stay in contact with your grandpa, although they might make the situation of you meeting your grandpa uncomfortable or even unbearable. I haven’t been in a comparable situation, but perhaps someone else here in the group might have gone through something similar, it might be a good idea to create a separate thread here in the forum, so more people might see what you are currently having to deal with.
Regarding your new rule of digital detox on the weekend: the idea is good in general, but right now I would call it an unnecessary burden, as you already have plenty of stuff to deal with. Perhaps you could discuss with everyone that you at least need time windows on Saturday to stay in contact to avoid your anxiety?
Feel hugged from afar, I deeply hope you’ll find a working solution for you with your family and that you won’t have to deal with this s*** for too long.
thank you♥️ I was able to make an agreement that we can have computers for school so I’m just going to save all my schoolwork for Saturdays and I’ll be able to contact people on my laptop
Day 308
Time for more rest.
I worked 13 hours today after only 1 hour of sleep last night.
I have been home all afternoon and even took a nap, but I am still super tired…
Have a beautiful day my friends
It’s nice to see another month go by, importantly with zero temptation to drink. I’m not complacent but drink just isn’t on the agenda at all now. . 9 months. Can’t wait for it to be a year and more.
Dang this place fills up fast! I feel bad I can’t keep up. Especially not on the weekends at least. @JazzyS I had to work my ass off these past 3 days. Thanks for asking
First thing I wake up to Friday is a picture in the staff group chat of a crooked table cloth. In a side room we hardly use. Why show 20 people when only 3 were involved? Everyone else knows who was working. And I didn’t check every one of 20 tableclothes. C’mon. I just don’t find it helpful.
The night was busy as usual. Happy I wasn’t working downstairs outside where the music was bc it’s like carrying weights while you’re on a treadmill/stair master for 6 hours. My lungs can’t handle it after a while. Held it down upstairs where it was slightly less frantic.
Stayed til the end to help my friend, the bartender, clean up and keep her company bc it is eerie being alone there at night (built in 1903). She’s my favorite person at work. And in general. I don’t meet many women I feel like I could tell anything at all to. She knows the things I hide, and she understands. Everything.
She invited me over. We hadn’t hung out in a while and suddenly it was 3:30! I felt bad but she said she usually stays up till 4 and was on her last glass of wine. I didn’t even notice she was drinking the entire time! She put it in a solo cup Thought that was cool.
Saturday. The new-ish manager. 1 bartender working out of 3 different bars(I helped a lot). 3 servers(me and 2 newbies) working the entire premises. No bussers scheduled. Chef was off. A dishwasher quit. Poorly managed shit show. Period. Slept great
Today was good. Worked 10-5 without someone breathing down my neck. I felt more relaxed. GM stopped in for a bit. Mostly to make sure the kitchen was good bc chef was off. He’s watching what’s going on below him. I need to find my voice and let him know how everyone’s feeling. We’ve always been hard workers and we always get it done right. He knows this. We never got the chance to prove it to this new girl. She shut it down and did it her way. And it hasnt always worked. Live and learn. And I just realized this second he told me to make sure the flowers got watered I suck at plants.
Anyway. I needed that vent. I had 2 hours to relax before picking up my kiddo. So glad she can enjoy weekends with her dad while I work work work.
Am I crazy or is there music on here sometimes? I don’t normally have my media volume up but 2 times since I’ve been back I noticed there was a calming music playing with the app opened. I didn’t have anything else open. It was nice. Or I’m crazy
All the feelings passed and I had a great time binging on baseball park food I did see beer EVERYWHERE but it wasn’t the end of the world. I feel so much better. Funny how much can change hour to hour!!
We are all individuals. I suspect that we all have our different nuances, personalities, reactions. And all should be loved and respected for who they are.
I’m sorry that you are in the position that you are in and I’m glad that you figured out something that is somewhat of a compromise.
I can see saying no to looking at phones say at the dinner table or for certain short periods of time when the family is gathered.
For instance if you were in a business meeting, or church, it would not be appropriate to look at the phone.
To deny access to them for a long period of time on an ongoing basis is controlling and probably really serves no good purpose.
The technology has good purposes many times.
I know it is helpful for you. I’m glad you figured out a compromise.
I will be thinking about you during the situations.
Congratulations @Starlight14
That means for almost one year of her life you have been clean! How wonderful is that! Celebrate each day!
Editing to add that I’m sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed and hoping somehow the burden will be lessened and you’ll begin to feel better. You’re doing your best.
Big hugs.
I did a thread about it @Alisa im struggling a bit lately, your advice is always bang on…if u have some time to read it id really appreciate your insight xx
Slept a bit unsteady. Dreams. Going from day to night shifts ain’t easy no more. It never really was I guess. But the sunsets still are a great sight from my workplace. Have as good a week as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
Thought that was cool.
I suck at plants.
I did see beer EVERYWHERE but it wasn’t the end of the world. I feel so much better. Funny how much can change hour to hour!! 
