Day 65. Losing service for everything tomorrow. This is the worst feeling. But I won’t break my stride. Just letting you all know I’m going to be MIA for a while.
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Just hit back from Puebla Mexico with the new job. It was awesome! Loving the team and the work. Thank you for asking @JazzyS !
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Traveled today from southern Mexico and went to church tonight for day 190 sober. Turning in because I am tired. 
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Day 215.
Greetings and salutations from the night train. I’m actually on a night train, it’s 5 am, I’m aching like a motha and I gave my husband the last of my paracetamol last night for his back pain.
Usually on night trains we book a sleeper cart. Normally if we book a 2 bunk cabin room and it’s just us in the cabin the dog is allowed. We’ve never had issues and we did this route countless times.
Until last night. As it turns out, there are 2 companies doing this night route. One allows pets in the sleeper, the other one doesn’t. The train we booked was with the company that doesn’t. Of course, there’s no way of knowing which company you’re getting while booking online…
So… yeah. We weren’t allowed in the sleeper and had to go to 2nd class. My husband did offer to stay here by himself with the dog and let me have the cabin with a bed for the night, but, as tempting as it was, I couldn’t do that to him. We’re a family, we’re gonna suffer through the severe discomfort together! We even toyed with the idea of taking turns and sleeping in ‘shifts’, but… as a woman, I didn’t feel safe being left alone during the night on a train.
Soooo… it’s 5 am and my back is in agony.
On the bright side, the dog looks comfy curled up under the seat 
At least one of us is getting some rest.
And more importantly, I didn’t drink over the situation. Yeah, it did cross my mind. Of course it did! I’m an alchy. But that would have made shit so much worse.
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tonight will be day 532 of no self harm.
the last 2 nights have been hard. I’ve been realizing just how truly chronically sick I am. and I don’t want to live like that. but this is the body I have and I can’t fix it. I can help if but most of my health issues will never go away. I’ve spent the last 2 nights just sobbing. I feel so lost
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Day 405.
I’ve been thinking a lot about some of the posts on this thread the past week. @Deelzebub said it better than I ever could: “I had said at one point that I was no longer counting days as I felt it wasn’t helpful to me…”. I recall thinking along those same lines when my sobriety was in the 400s. I stopped the day counts and checking in regularly. Shortly after/around 500 days I picked up a drink with seemingly little thought or foresight. (I’ve unpacked it since - there was a lot leading up to it.)
I’ll be away for work next week, and visiting my Mom, and may not have time to post much. But what is obvious to me now is that recovery is a daily habit. And community and connection are the bedrock of it. For me, it’s TS and Recovery Dharma. And when life is busy and I’m not posting, then I’m reading and liking. If not this thread, then at least my home thread (the Gratidudes).
Am gonna wander on over to that thread now, and be grateful for this community. 
G’night all - sweet sober dreams. 
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Here are 355 and counting hearts and hugs for you… be so proud of yourself! Look at the good that has happened in your life! For almost a year you have not harmed yourself and you have been going through some tough times
I am not your Dr., I do not know what is going on with you but I can say that oftentimes… things get better…, you are at a fragile age and you are faced with some signifcant barriers, I see you going forward each time you post.
Big hugs and lots of hearts for all your pains and hurts, the physical ones and the emotional ones.
Think positive and let us all hope that one day, and the sooner the better, things will start getting better for you.
I admire how you have stuck with making improvements…
Hoping for things to get better
Hugs for your tears and hurts…
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Oh love I just want to give you some big warm hugs. I’m sorry that you are feeling lost my friend. I know it can be tough and you are so young to be going through all of this.
I always have faith that no matter what I am going through, it will get better. This for me helps keep me going and moving forward with a positive attitude.
I feel like you finally have a doctor that is listening to you and hopefully will be able to find you some relief with your symptoms if they can’t completely fix them. Sweet girl – I totally understand the need to cry and release all that you have been holding on to for so long. It is a lot to deal with these symptoms for so long - just have to say how proud i am of you for 532 days of no self harm and dealing with all that you have going on. 
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I didn’t even realize I messed up my numbers lol it’s day 532 I don’t kno how I typed 355. thank you for always being so kind♥️
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thank you I don’t see my doctor for another 3 months but I’m hopeful that once we get all this testing over with we can work on pain management
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@anon15828629 Hey Kevin how are you doing?
@Juli1 so impressed with your determination love – grateful that you are continuing to work on yourself and are finding / researching methods that will work for you. Help keep you from turning to your DOC
@mrsodh grateful that you were able to bring your daughter home safely. Hopefully here being at home now will also help bring you two closer.
This is beautiful my friend – glad that your id’s reflect who you are Hoping for a better day for you my friend
@jennyh hope your day got better my friend. You are juggling many roles and still trying to find time for yourself so be kind to yourself. I think you are doing a fantastic job. I do think its harder for kids with not having the same freedoms as we did (we would leave the house in the morning and come back when lights came home – parents wouldn’t really know where we went just that we were out playing – lol). Not something we can just easily do today unfortunately. I do hope you are feeling better with your day 44!
This is lovely – it is important to feel the alive and hopeful again. You are doing great with your 3 days and grateful that you are not putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
@hisharleyquinn1318 65 days is amazing! Sorry love – hope it doesn’t last long and you will be back with us soon.
I’m sorry today was a rough one but I’m grateful at your positive approach to this and I do know that you will find healthier coping mechanisms as you practice your new rituals / habits on a day to day basis.
@amy30 ah man that sounds very uncomfortable. I’m sorry you are in such agony. I do hope that you are able to get to your destination soon and get some comfort soon. [lol – yeah, at least your baby will be well rested]
@SadMemeQueen I too am hopeful that you will get your pain management addressed soon. Are you able to contact the doctor earlier to ask if he can prescribe something now (so that you don’t have to wait 3+ months).
Checking in on Wednesday evening
238 days free of alcohol and weed
653 days free of cigarettes
Not much to report today. I was in a better health space than yesterday but still dealing with a lot – spent a lot of time in bed. Luckily found a good show to keep me company and mind off of shit. I’m about to call it a night and get some rest. Tomorrow is a brighter day Wishing everyone had a wonderful addiction free day. Sending much love my sober companions
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1531
Off to work I go. Didn’t sleep too swell as Luna kept checking in on me. Otherwise I’m OK. Have as good a day as you can all. Sober and clean. Love.
@SadMemeQueen You’re brave and strong and you will find a way to deal with this too. Sorry for all the challenges you’re facing, life isn’t always fair.
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there’s not really much that can be done right now because my pain could be a lot of different things that we’re still testing for
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Ah that makes sense. Im sorry love…sending you healing vibes and comfort
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Thanks 
i thought your one litre method applys only for my reluctant teenagers
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Day 311
I am so tired.
Happy to be sober. I once again was in a situation where I had to turn down my doc.
It’s someone’s birthday and they’re celebrating outside my house. 
because all of his friends are on this block, and he was my supplier for a year or so before I quit. I went outside to ask them to quiet down because it’s almost 1 am here and I work at 7. And I was offered it. I said no thanks. I am proud of myself for choosing to get clean.
Hope y’all have a good day/night wherever you are my sober fam 
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Maybe also to your sore ankle?
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Sorry for that. Congrats on staying sane and healthy and strong and sober and clean. Hope you’ll have some rest now.
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Day 3
Checking in.
No sleep until 2 am because of running thoughts.
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Anxiety is my big fear. I had an awful bout of it when I last got on the wagon. I’m 22 days in this time and so far I’m doing ok keeping it at bay. It’s nonsensical for me. I worry and get agitated at things that I shouldn’t overthinking things that I’ve done and been able to do for years. Social situations that I know I can handle very well.
I had the wrong approach last time.out, this time I’m more prepared and have some mechanisms to deal with things a bit better.
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