Checking in daily to maintain focus #57

Day 25: no grazing
Day 745: no pills

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Just one thing: you gotta jump in. The individual mix will follow. Trust the process and let go of the total control your are trying to exert. Which is only an illusion anyway. Since Iā€™m in Recovery Iā€™ve been forced to trust others for a change. In choosing (group :exploding_head:) therapies for example. I still hate to let go of control but every time I manage to do so beautiful stuff happens. Just jump in. The waterā€™s fine my friend :swimming_woman:.

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I changed that. I get where youā€™re coming from. But I also want to point out that things like this was one of the reasons I left this forum last time. If weā€™re going to keep this up, change, rethink,reframe and be extremely careful about every word, every picture and everything we do in here. Itā€™ll soon be an impossible place to be. We canā€™t please everyone and thereā€™s always someone whoā€™ll be offended or feel bad,no matter what we do.

I used to be a junkie as well,where I live the word is used to describe a specific kind of drug addicts not just anyone. But anyway, I changed it,I get the point.

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Thank you.
Youā€™re pretty much right.
Actually where I live itā€™s used to describe a specific kind of drug addicts,it doesnā€™t mean just anyone.
I used to be one of them myself. Itā€™s definitely not a place I want her to be or a person I want her to stay with. As youā€™re trying ti describe itā€™s a certain lifestyle we want to distance ourselves from.
And thatā€™s also why we came and picked her up as soon as she called.

I still have friends in active addiction,I still have my own urge to use that I Battle with still (Even If Iā€™ve been clean for many many years)
But I wonā€™t,and thereā€™s the difference between us here trying and those who donā€™t.

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Thank you.
Sheā€™s back home now,We had about a 6 hours road trip to bring her home.

Hopefully sheā€™ll get her life together this time.
With some help from us ofc. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Thank you, Mno.

Iā€™m still here, abstaining and reading.

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:clap::smile: sweet and true

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Ugh that anxious feeling in the stomach is the worstā€¦ I feel you! Sorry youre going through it. Sometimes it doesnā€™t go away no matter what I do to alleviate it. It helps me not to overthink it then, and just ride the wave until it passes on its own.

Congrats on your sobrieties! :smiley: Great job, friend! :clap:

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Celebrating Day 313

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I agree. I donā€™t like the word alcoholic, I think itā€™s unnecessary stigmatizing. I donā€™t call somebody with schizophrenia a schizophrenic, or somebody with autism an autist, either.

Iā€™m not going to use the word alcoholic to describe myself or anybody. But there are others that do and if thatā€™s what they want, fine. I can live with that. I have to live with that.

Also this is a world wide forum, with english as lingua franca. Thereā€™s a 100 types of english spoken as native languages around the world. And thereā€™s also us for whom english is a second or third language. Whose english do we use here and whoā€™s here to police it?

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@KarenKW congrats on 30 days :tada:
@Cjp congrats on the promotionā€‹:clap:t2::tada:
@JazzyS thank you :blush: šŸ©µ it will pass hopefully soon. :crossed_fingers:t2:
@Dustysprungfield congrats on 3 weeks :tada:
@Just_Laura congrats on 6 months :tada:
@Saturn81 welcome :blush: congrats on 3 days :tada:
@Mira_D congrats on 30 days :tada:

1101 days no alcohol.
566 days no cocaine.
81 days no vape.

Today has been much like yesterday, and Iā€™ve managed my fundamentals but only one other activity, which was reading one chapter of the book Iā€™m reading.

I received my new passport today, and I do like my photo, so thatā€™s good, and now Iā€™ve applied to renew my drivers licence, which they will use the photo from my passport, so I will receive that soon too. My last passport and drivers licence photos were pre-Testosterone so Iā€™ve never liked them. So now I will have ID that better reflects current me.

šŸ©µ

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Checking in sober day 31.
I canā€™t wait for vacation. I need a break from life. Iā€™m exhausted with everything. I never feel at peace. Iā€™m not even trying for happiness. I want peace of mind. That might be harder to find. Particularly with ADHD and anxiety. But soon I can sit on the beach and watch the waves.

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Great news @CATMANCAM That must feel so right, to feel reflected in the image you have.

@KarenKW Congratulations on Day 30. Where are you off to? I love the ocean.

Checking in on Day 43. Really tired today. Been trying my hardest in all my roles and that has taken it out of me, think I managed it though. My family are happy and got a lot done at work. I am not very good and the switch required between roles, so having the kids home while I am working is tough. My son would live in his room (which isnā€™t good), and my daughter seems to rely on me for entertainment. I feel sad for kids today as they just donā€™t play out like we used to. I guess the parents are too busy. I have quite bad Mum guilt today, but also so envious of friends with the little ones. I miss those days.

Anyway, have waffled on there. I needed it, not feeling that listened to today. Thank you all for being here :blush:

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Heading to Cape Cod Massachusetts. (Northeast USA) Itā€™s where I grew up and my mom still lives.

Pic from last summer

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Oh wow, that is amazing. Off to google it now. Hope you have a really restful break.

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Checking in on day 3

Another really good one so far! Today is my second day working out, which feels great to get back into. Taking it really easy, and trying to not put unnecessary pressure on myself. Fixed myself up a bit todayā€¦ā€¦ Wore a dress, put makeup on, and washed my hair for the first time since drinking and smoking on Sundayā€¦.
So fresh and so clean! Hahahaha

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Iā€™m 20 years older than you and I want to stay young and foolish, but in a way that makes me feel happy within myself. I think my past life of staying young and foolish was a little cringeworthy, to be polite! :grimacing::grimacing::joy::slightly_smiling_face:

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Thank you.

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Day 9.
Late check in,kind of a rough day but made it through.Eating some tacos and relaxing the rest of the night :v:

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:first_quarter_moon_with_face: Evening Check In :first_quarter_moon_with_face:
Day 549
Today has been a really restless day for me. Ive struggled alot with my ED. Even though i havent acted out on it, my mind has been really preoccupied with it. It has been an almost all day thing and ive done numerous things to keep it at bay. Im really working hard on changing problem behaviours in my life. Right now my problem behaviours which i still use to escape are my ED and my phone. Both of these things i turn to when i experience uncomfortable emotions. I can see that when i stopped using drugs and alcohol, other issues became more prominent. And im not liking how they have so much control over me (more so my ED than my phone, but still). I see myself making progress and im taking things one day at a time, just like i did with drugs. And i know that as long as i stay true to this path of healing and change, eventually i will have made new healthy habits for me to cope with my emotions. Im feeling optimistic and excited about my future, even tho i feel restless and on edge right now :butterfly:

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