Quick update for today.
I just got back from work.
My husband probably don’t have food poisoning . He’s on his way to the hospital with ambulance,they think it’s appendicitis.
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Day 320
All is good, stress level went down today as the whole team is united against the horror Dr we have to work with. We’re a team, she doesn’t belong to it. The Medical Director will be informed next week through a coworker. We’re now ALL looking for new jobs.
I’m grateful that I’m sober and strong in my sobriety 
No cravings although the situation I’m in is awful, and I’m thankful for this community where I can come to vent 
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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@MrsOdh jeeze i hope ur husband will be okay. That sounds serious
@Noshame HUGE CONGRATULATIONS on 30 days of being a non smoker. Thats such a huge accomplishment. Definitely alot pf hard work went into getting here 
@Saturn81 how are you feeling now Michelle? I see you posted about having high anxiety about 2 hours ago. Did walkong Cooper help? I find that deep breathing as well as the 5 senses grounding technique amazing for working theu anxiety. If u havent heard of the 5 senses grounding technique i can explaon it to u if u like. It really helps me to ground and be in the present moment.
@Soberbilly thank u for the compliment. Im sorry u had to go thru that friendship trouble. It honestly sounds like theres maybe other things going on in her life snd then it sort of got projected onto u. Idk. People can be strange. Congratulations on ur 479 days of recovery friend! I think ur doing amazing!!
@SelfLove_42 congratulations on ur 2 weeks being pmo free!! Seems like ur doing all the right things to keep ur addiction at bay. Thats great!
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Oh no 
Best wishes for your husband and a speedy recovery
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Morning Check In
Day 550
Really loving this number today! Im feeling really good about my recovery and how things have been as of late. Im feeling like ive got some solid footing on my recovery as well as on my ED but im not going to get too sure of myself bcuz i always need to be on my toes and do the daily work.
Today its supposed to be +39°C which is extremely hot for me so again I will be staying inside with my son. Im really going to try and be somewhat productive today so that i dont get restless like i did yesterday. We have been stuck inside for the past 3 days due to extreme heat warnings and im starting to feel squirrely. But… tmrw its supposed to be much cooler so we will be getting out to buy school clothes then. Not much else to report i guess. It will be another clean and sober day for me 
Have a great day everyone! 
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True. I tend to isolate me too, did that while I was on vacation. I didn’t even want to go grocery shopping bc of humans 
Good that you’re here now, welcome back to the herd 
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Oh Binx i’m so sorry that you are dealing with all of this. Anxiety is a bitch! Please never stay away thinking you will bring anyone here down. We are here for the good the bad and the ugly - this is where we come to get support and comfort and a lift out of our hole(s). You are among friends who only want the best for you and will most definitely not judge you when you fall - please see our hands reaching out to you.
So frustrating that you are not able to make appointments sooner - i am hoping that you are able to start seeing the benefits of the meds sooner. I know you find a lot of comfort in praying. I also know that when i feel down i stay away from prayer which is the opposite of what i should be doing. Hopefully you are able to find your strength and positivity again by reaching out to your HP.
NOT at all - you are hurting. Anxiety is not making anything easier and our brains have learned over years to go to this poison for comfort (its a false security blanket) - you know it is and i have faith that you will shed it. you are stronger than your addiction my friend - you do not need this crutch to help you cope with anxiety or any other lifey shit. We are here for you and i do hope you are able to get some support irl.
Stay strong Binx!! Much love my dear friend
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Good morning!
Day two and about twelve hours to go before bedtime. I might take a nap this afternoon.
Just quietly sitting here organizing my list of people I’d like to tell off. 
Seriously:
Something I noticed this morning is that I actually feel ashamed at myself and remorseful about how my problem has caused trouble and hurt feelings for other people, in a way I haven’t felt before (despite being a heavy drinker and then a problem drinker for three decades) – and not in some pro-forma way because of some external template saying I should feel this way.
I wonder why I haven’t until now and have some vague ideas about that, but it would be too much of a digression to say anything now.
But I would agree it has been long overdue for me to feel this way, and I’m glad it’s happening. I think this is a good thing.
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@scorpn Oh love - i’m sorry that you did not get a good nights rest. the neighbors are insane for being so damn loud on a Wednesday night. You should be very proud of yourself! Grateful that you stayed strong and protected your sobriety!
@cloudy grateful that you did not send that email / or do a post so that you can start your sobriety journey without these regrets. Great job on day 2! I do know the weird sleep schedule and grateful that you have the time to allow for it. Sleep doe help heal. Hoping you have a wonderful day
Love this Laura – a great thing I’m learning on this journey is that it’s okay to feel – we are humans and we do have a number of emotions. It’s best to feel them and process them rather than hide them away. So grateful that you are close to your family and you all are working on living a healthier life.
@dogtoothcowboy well done with your 4 days my friend. Grateful to hear that you are continuing with your sober path. We are here whenever you need – hope that work lets up so you get some time to just be.
@twinkle2 you are too sweet love! Appreciate your kind words. So happy to see you with us here love – Do keep checking in and reach out whenever you need. We are stronger together!
@ceeds I love this – way to go on planning it out and protecting your sobriety. Have a wonderful time at the wedding!
@SelfLove_42 Congrats on your 2 weeks my friend! Well done on recognizing the “cured” behavior and taking steps to better your journey. Super proud of your accomplishments!
@soberbilly I am right with you on excavating – doing it slowly as to not shock myself 
Super impressed with how you handled the situation with your friend. Grateful that you did not take it personally – as Karen mentioned – most likely more to do with what she’s going through than you.
@saturn81 I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time today. I do hope that you are able to go for a walk, listen to upbeat music, so something fun to keep your mind occupied and hopefully relieve the anxiety. It is not an easy journey but it is a worthwhile one. The cravings and anxiety do get easier the longer you abstain. Are you able to go to a meeting or talk with someone irl – we are here if you just need to vent and let it out -writing out the words of how we feel sometimes helps reduce their power over us.
@noshame – Cant say it enough – huge congrats to you my friend! Well done on your 30 days of being a non smoker! I hope the headache goes away soon. Keep up the great work
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@mindofsobermike Well done on your 85 days. I am sorry that you are struggling and feeling triggered. Saturday is still a few days away. Are you able to find a space for yourself where you can just be alone and process what you are feeling? If you can’t reach out to anyone to discuss your feelings – we are here to listen. Also – might be good to meditate or do a mindful body scan to help quieten down the anxiety. Hang in there my friend – we are here for you. Sending you strength and comfort.
@mrsodh oh my – I’m sorry Sophia – I do hope he’s ok – please keep us posted.
So awesome that you do have a good team at work even with all the other crap that you all have to put up with. My goodness – this place better shape up or it will need to fold after losing all its employees. Grateful that you are working on getting out of this toxic work environment.
@butterflymoonwoman Hell yeah to loving the number – 550 is awesome and it’s all your hard work!
checking in on Thursday morning
i managed to get 5 hours sleep and am feeling surprisingly awake (the coffee might have something to do with this). i still have swelling but am able to see shape in legs and ankles so that is huge. all else is manageable and fatigue isn’t present right now — yeah!!! about to make me some gf pancakes and an espresso – been thinking about it for over an hour and now need to get into action. have a wonderful positively charged addiction free day my sober companions! sending you all much love
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Yay!!! Im so glad ur feeling a bit better thats great to hear! Enjoy ur pancakes and espresso! Today is going to be a good day!
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Thanks love – yes it is going to be a great day for the both of us! 
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I will absolutely keep y’all updated.
Meanwhile I’m going to try and figure out why I can’t have just one day without drama.
I try to avoid it at all costs, but it seems to find me.
Sometimes I’m starting to wonder if I live in a bad soap opera like in The Truman Show.
It’s so annoying.
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so sorry love - i totally get it feeling like each day is another episode of “here’s my life”
You are doing great in handling all of what life is throwing your way. Keep your positive attitude shining love - it has to get easier.
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Not just a little…
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Well done on 36 days!
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Day 3 evening checkin 
Back home without buying shit.
Didn’t break the commitment I wrote down this morning. So chapeau to myself for today.
Love to all of your souls 
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Way to go, Juli! Have a good evening.
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Thank you.
It always gets better, there’s no other way. 
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