Well done on 36 days!
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Day 3 evening checkin 
Back home without buying shit.
Didnāt break the commitment I wrote down this morning. So chapeau to myself for today.
Love to all of your souls 
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Way to go, Juli! Have a good evening.
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Thank you.
It always gets better, thereās no other way. 
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Thanks Billy - i sure did and now going to take a shower and then go play in the rain ā i know a bit backwards but hey ā figured iād walk to the store since its cooler and raining 
maybe jump in a few puddles 
i am going to win over today 
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Checking in.
Some random thoughts about feelings crossed my mind today.
I would always start expressing my feelings with I think I feel. I think.
I was hard on myself in my thoughts and then I realized: yes, I can feel: calm when I am outside in nature. Sad and overwhelming sad and tears coming up as well. I like this actually as I cannot fight it by thinking and itās usually cleaning my mind.
I can feel anger boiling up inside and feel when it subsides which surprises me still. When I was in active addiction I could be angry all day, sad all day, frustrated all day.
I can feel. I am making baby steps to give these feelings more room in a healthy way. Not judging and analyzing every feeling right away before I actually feel it.
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Checking in. Day 1223.
Chill day. Suffered lack of energy right at the start, but just rode that wave. Been practicing maximum mindfulness ā the endless spiral of thoughts in my head canāt survive that. Feels like Im truly alive only when I silence my mind.
Me to me at all times: stfu pls tysm
Amazing.
Go team!
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This is such a big thing.
Iām so happy for you that youāre actually getting there.
I recognize myself so much in this. Still not at this point though. All my life Iāve worked so hard to not feel, to be neutral, practical,or always happy and positive. (Iām still happy and positive for the most)
That Iām not sure how to be something else. I canāt cry, I almost never get mad because I can understand the other person or where they are coming from. I just shake it off and move forward in some kind of constant happiness filled with hope.
I do get upset from time to time,but it passes within minutes for the most.
But Iām not the person who walks around constantly Smiling shining with happiness either. Iām just neutral.
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It has to go well, thereās no other direction. I donāt even think I can imagine another scenario.
Iāll keep yāall updated as soon as I get some news.
Keeping in mind that that gave him some meds and that it might have been an emergency surgery, which is pretty common in those cases (at least over here)
Iāll probably wonāt get any updates until tomorrow afternoon.
Iām glad we eventually got him to the hospital. But I feel bad for not understanding that it was so serious and not a āsimple food poisoningā earlier and went to work for 8 hours. If Iāve stayed at home I might have been able to get him help earlier.
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Sending healing vibes for a speedy recovery for your husband 
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Thank you. Iām sure itāll turn out just fine. 
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Oh dang, I feel you. I did a 20-hour overnight train sitting a some years ago. 0/10, canāt recommend.
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Donāt. You could not have known. Thereās just no way. Sending strength and serenity.
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Thank you
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Checking in on Day 44. Feeling a little burnt out today, juggling too many things. I had a migraine earlier too at the gym, really pleased though as was able to nip across the road and get some painkillers, and then carried on at the gym. My migraines seem to be increasing recently, think it is my age and the dreaded hormones, but good to know I can stop it quite effectively with these pills.
I am not feeling work atm and wonder if it is the distraction of school holidays. I do miss the summers at home with the children, just going out and exploring. I also remember them as exhausting so this might be a rose tinted view 
I hope everyone has a lovely rest of the day.
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Thanks for checking in, I did go out and walk, it helped a little, but I managed not to touch any wine 
I feel absolutely exhausted with the whole day, it was hard, Iāve always struggled with bad anxiety all my life which is one of the reasons I became best friends with wine, I have just started deep breathing and meditation exercises this week, but Iāve not heard of the 5 senses grounding technique so would love to know what it is 
but its been another win not wine for me today 
so Iām happy with that and Iām in bed relaxing with Coops reading, have a good night everyone
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Update nr 3.
The Hospital just called. Theyāve transferred my husband to one of the biggest hospitals in our region.
And are going to do emergency surgery tonight.
If it all goes well, heāll be home on Saturday evening.
If itās a bit to late, or if something goes wrongā¦ well then he wonāt be coming home at all.
However I did tell the kids that they are doing emergency surgery, and that heāll probably be back home on Saturday.
They got to play some with their phones and computers after dinner. And is still on playing. I gave them another 30 mins.
I usually never does, and never ever this late. But I think itās needed as a little distraction from reality today.
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Heāll be alright Sophia. Sending lots of positive vibes and thoughts both your ways just to make sure of that 
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Thank you. I appreciate it. Iām also sure that heāll be alright. As I said earlier,I canāt even imagine any other way.
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Really hope he gets seen quickly and all goes well. My daughter had her appendix out urgently and was too little for keyhole. The whole thing went like clockwork, the team are so used to it. Just scary for you though.
Good plan with the extra screen time, times like these are different and it is a good distraction.
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