I’m here I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 4.
Haven’t slept at all. I think my husband got a bad food poisoning yesterday at McDonald’s. We had a long way to go to pick up my daughter, so we stopped for food.
He’s been really I’ll all night, and was the only one who ate something different than the rest of us.
Because of that my boys haven’t slept at all, because they heard him through the night and got worried. I spent the night sleeping on a blanket in my oldest boys room.
Then I had to go up for work. I called and asked them how to do, but there’s no one Elsa that can come in and take my shift so I still had to go.
But now it’s only 4 hours left. The cafeteria served hot chocolate for breakfast and my husband feels a bit better. So it’s all good.
Hoping we can go to our planned trip by the Sea this weekend. Even if the weather decided to change so it’ll still be raining.
Besides that my daughter actually seems determined to change things and get her life together. I hope she’ll make it. We’ve already helped her book a meeting with the social services (She has special needs so she might be able to apply for extra help with an apartment and some economcal help from them in what we call LSS. Law about Support and Service)
I gave her a list yesterday on thing she needs to do to get help from them.
Change her address, get a electronic ID, and a few more things. And she actually set the morning Alarm and got up to do this things.
I’ve never seen that before. So hopefully it all turns out in a good way.
Besides that I feel good.
Apparently I created a small storm yesterday by my choice of words. And normally I would’ve got super anxious, delete, apologize and worry about which people who might get mad at me.
Not this time. Instead I find myself defending and discussing my point of view without anxiety or worry.
Don’t know where it actually comes from,and I’m actually a bit surprised by myself here.
Not that I’m proud of the idea that I might have offended someone,but I’m proud of the fact that I actually can stand up for myself without getting scared or feel bad.
Lunch break is over, so I’m going back to work.
Wishing y’all a wonderful day.
xx
Pray for me 
day 4…oh my word I’m struggling today, my anxiety is through the roof I feel a little unwell which is probably withdrawal, my mood is rock bottom and all I want to do is get home from work and open a bottle of wine, I will be honest and say I’ve definitely been naive in thinking this would be difficult but not this hard, it is all I’ve thought about today, so I’m going to go out walking with Cooper my dog after work and pray I don’t give in, thanks for the welcome and support everyone, it is so appreciated and hope everyone gets through today 
I watched the Stutz Documentary when it came out on Netflix and it is great, but I wasn’t ready to stop then, now that I am I’ll definitely give it another watch so thanks for reminding me of it hopefully it hits a little bit different now:+1:
for cigs and vapes. It’s going to be 30 days today non smoking. I’m so happy about this. This is the longest I’ve ever went sence I started 17 years ago