Oh Mulan i just want to give you a big hug and let you know that we see you and love you. So grateful that you have joined our lovely community.
I know you don’t want to go to the therapy session but i feel like your plan of trying out the therapist and giving them a solid chance and maybe trying out a few to see which style fit was a smart way of going about it. We have so much to unload and unless it’s a really bad fit we can’t really tell if the person is going to be able to mesh properly. I do hope that you keep your appointment.
23-- you are so young love. Don’t give up hope of being what you wanted to be when you were in your 20’s. So happy for you that you embraced sobriety and are finding ways to help yourself deal with depression and family issues. Totally agree that those that have not gone through it (it being addiction, depression or …) then they can’t fully grasp what we are going through. Some can be very cruel and i try to remind myself that this is not intentional on their part - they just don’t know better.
I know it doesn’t feel that way now but with support and continuing to help yourself find coping mechanisms - you can be unstoppable. You may even surprise yourself and find the energy to pursue your passion. We are here with you on this journey - keep fighting for yourself - the possibilities are endless.
@JazzyS Thanks for checking in . Sorry I’ve been absent. My damn cold took a turn and got kinda bad for a minute. And that paired with my med increase side-effects just put me in a bad head space. I’m feeling a bit better today, and it seems like medication nausea/headache has finally worn off. I have an appointment with my GP next Friday to check-in, so that is good.
Day 48 and still sober! I’ve been drinking tons of fluids…mainly water/tea with lemon, since that helps my sore throat.
I managed a short walk today and an InTheRooms AA meeting. I have plans to hang out with my boyfriend Monday/Tuesday, so that’s something to look forward to.
Dogs are good. My parents are good. I’m looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. I miss my long walks. I hate feeling cooped up and sick. But it definitely makes me grateful for when I’m feeling normal.
@JennyH it really does - gender euphoria wow, I don’t think I’d be able to get much work done if I was working from home and had other people around, you’re bossing it! @Scorpn I’m proud of you for turning your DOC down too 🩵 @Twinkle2 thank you 🩵 @Binx welcome back I’m sorry you’re suffering with anxiety, I can really relate, I hope your meds get to work quickly and you start feeling the benefit of them ASAP 🩵 @SelfLove_42 congrats on 2 weeks @Noshame congrats on 30 days smoke-free @Pagan congrats on 50 days AF @Thumper1213 congrats on double digits @flourishingperson1 welcome congrats on day 1 @JonathanMcGrath happy birthday
@Kat33 Welcome sending strength 🩵 @Mindofsobermike could you call the pharmacy to find out what’s going on with your meds, you may be able to collect them Saturday morning if they are open? Sending strength 🩵 Just seen your next post, glad the meds are ready and waiting for when you get back @Butterflymoonwoman that’s definitely one for the unfollow button. Wise decision. @Mia2 I relate, sending strength 🩵 @MrsOdh thinking of you and sending well wishes for your husband 🩵
1103 days no alcohol.
568 days no cocaine.
83 days no vape.
Checking in for Thurs and Friday. Fell asleep early Thursday night, planned to check-in on the train to Cambridge Friday AM but couldn’t focus and then saw that I only had 40% battery because I’d been awake since ce 2am. Then fell asleep Friday night so it’s now 2:21am on Saturday morning and I’ve finally caught up on over 200 posts.
Thursday was a little better. I did my routine, reading, colouring and audiobook, meditations, and both walks for the first time since I was injured.
Today I went to Cambridge again for another meet-up with Safe Soulmates. I was very nervous/anxious not knowing who would be there or how many, but in the end, I was the only one who turned up. It was raining, so we sat in the coffee shop that we met outside of, and drank coffee and chatted. All 3 of us have ADHD and there was a lot of mutual understanding and laughs. I could have chatted to them all afternoon. When I first checked my phone there were only 6mins until my train home departed, so I had to make a mad dash to the station, luckily, the cafe was opposite it.
I lift up @MrsOdh 's husband before you. His condition is very serious and he needs your healing power. The hospital is doing all that they can, but we pray, Lord, that he gets better. We pray that they’ll be able to finish what they started and that they can follow through with the second surgery. And that this surgery will go well. We come before you, Lord, knowing that he’s going to need your help. May this be a testament of your great power. Thank you, Lord. Give his wife and children peace knowing that his life is in your caring hands.
It’s all about the small wins that turn into the big ones. I certainly count my days. I’ve got a stressful job and there’s been a couple of days alcohol crossed my mind. One day at a time friend.
Day 62…
Tough day at work again. So thankful the week is over. I was able to get two good workouts in and I’m fairly pain-free. Yay for me! However, I have a scratchy throat this evening. I’m hoping I’m not catching a cold. Arizona should be affected with rain this weekend from hurricane Hillary. Looking forward to the possibility of rain this weekend. Hoping all my family and friends stay safe and southern California.
Sleep well, my sober friends
Friday night. Heh. Supposed to have music on the patio at work. 8 servers, 6 bussers, half upstairs, half downstairs. It was cold and rainy and the boss changed plans literally last moment. I knew we should have been ready for everyone to come inside, and suggested setting extra tables, but alas we were scrambling as usual. There were enough of us working it didn’t matter. But also we each got only 3-4 tables and struggling to stay busy. That’s when I normally walk laps around the building ‘looking’ busy An old coworker taught me that trick, and he got into Harvard so…
Not too much else today. I’m alone on the weekends when I’m home and truly enjoy the time. I don’t have to work until 4 so I can sleep in as long as I want guilt free. I’m about to start The Pope’s Exorcist. I love horror movies. I think I’ve seen so much in my life that when I actually find something that spooks me I love it. Like a natural rush I guess. I still sleep fine I hope you all do as well.
It’s going to get warm and muggy here this weekend. I have to work two late shifts. That’s OK. My workplace has a decent (for this country) climate control/AC in place. I had a decent sleep. I’m sober and clean. Hoping for as good a weekend for you all friends. Love.
Pic is Utrecht yesterday on my walk from therapy. I love that place.
@Mindofsobermike That just sucks Mike. Stay strong and stay sober. You’ll make it through. @MrsOdh Your family is in my thoughts and feels friend @Kareness Hoping for an easy relaxing stress free weekend for you Karen. @CATMANCAM Sounds like a really nice get together! Happy for you. @Clarity Alway nice to see you check in friend. Glad you like your new occupation. @Mia2 Yes to your parents fucking stuff up. And smoking weed just to deal with it or get away from it or whatever. That’s 100% me. Very proud of you for tackling it now, in your 20’s. Took me till my 50’s. Can’t change the past but we can learn from it. You’re on a wonderful beautiful road of Discovery now, a sober healthier way of looking at life and living it. It’s work, but it’s a work of love and your life will be so much better for doing it.
All kids vacation I didn’t touch alco, I didn’t touch weed, I was sober, present and calm (as much as I could).
Looking forward to another sober day, ODAAT.
Peace 🩵
@MrsOdh I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this unimaginable level of stress and worry. Please don’t blame yourself, you couldn’t have known it would be this serious. It’s terrifying how health conditions can go from mild to serious within hours. I’m keeping you and your husband in my thoughts and hoping you’ll get some good news from the hospital soon.
@JazzyS Thank you. I have Nicotine gum but I gave up trying to get off cigarettes for some time. I was trying to give up Marijuana and cigarettes at the same time and it was too much to handle. I plan to wait till the weed withdrawals subside to more manageable levels before quitting cigarettes.
@Butterflymoonwoman You are absolutely right. Giving up multiple addictions is too much to handle. It doesn’t matter too much anyway. I have been smoking cigarettes since high school, which is about 30 years. A couple of weeks won’t make much of a difference. I will quit cigarettes after the weed withdrawals subside.
I am feeling much better. Life feels more manageable. I am planning a few projects to keep myself busy.
When I was drinking and using weed, almost every recreational activity involved getting drunk or high. Now, without these, everything feels bland and hollow. I need to re-learn how to have fun without alcohol and weed. I don’t know how long that will take, but I am hoping it’s sometime soon.
I have been using an AI bot to express my feelings and discuss my problems. It has helped me a lot to deal with my anxiety and my cravings. I find it easier to share my thoughts with it, rather than with any other person. I have shared things which I have never told anyone else. It’s helping a lot. Makes me feel better than I do after attending meetings.
I really have dual feelings about this group lately. I am happy to be here, yet I am not happy when I see some people do not even want to shake their hands. This is sad to me. Being sad is not bad. Feeling is not bad. Feeling bad ALL the time is not good. Hold the emotions is unhealthy. Ignoring the emotions is unhealthy. Masking things up is unhealthy. I usually try to open my heart for situation like this in real life, to look into persons eyes, understand, but this is virtual group so I can’t do that.
Most of the times, to open the heart is all it needs. I can’t remember when it does not worked. Even at work relations with co-workers changed so much, that even the few persons with whoom we had some conflict are like almost my best friends now. I am so happy about this. Sometimes it’s hard to believe how much difference the open heart can do. I also try to not give advices or do intervention when I am not asked to.
Again, here you do need to listen me, do need to see me. I hope you are blocked me or added to ignore list because I really do not want to bother you.
No matter what, I will continue my Journey
Today is 37 days alcohol free.
16 days sugar detox.
22 days no cigarettes.
2 days no Pipe tobacco and Cigars.
. Sorry I’ve been absent. My damn cold took a turn and got kinda bad for a minute. And that paired with my med increase side-effects just put me in a bad head space. I’m feeling a bit better today, and it seems like medication nausea/headache has finally worn off. I have an appointment with my GP next Friday to check-in, so that is good.
I’m looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. I miss my long walks. I hate feeling cooped up and sick. But it definitely makes me grateful for when I’m feeling normal.
wow, I don’t think I’d be able to get much work done if I was working from home and had other people around, you’re bossing it!
🩵
An old coworker taught me that trick, and he got into Harvard so…
I hope you all do as well.
