Awhhhh noooo that covid shit!
Sorry Sabrina, take a lot of
good care of yourself 
Get well soon…
Sending some positive energy 
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Oh god… Covid. Shitty virus, honestly. I heard it’s coming back…
Stay safe please and I hope you will be soon healthy and will not have any issues with this shitty virus! (My mother almost was in hospital because of covid at 2020😕)
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I believe it will be all okay. If something, I’m here for you. 
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Morning guys checking in from work Saturday morning SAF. Have a great day. TTYL. 
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Day 973,
Slept into the day. About to pick up my son in an hour. Having diner with my parents and going to the soccer match of Fortuna Sittard our local team of which we have seasonal tickets. Their dog is coming along as well, since his mother is still in the hospital.
She texted me this morning. That she might die etc. I don’t think it will be that bad, but that’s the way she is. Somewhat understandable in her position. I heard it in the past also and was a dynamic in other relationships as well. They throw everything (things were a relationship is not for) at me (at least that’s how I perceive(d) it), I listen and start worrying as well or something like that, can not find the right words at the moment. She never had another relationship after our separation 13 years ago, so still sometimes in this position were she turns to me. Some therapist in the past already asked who takes care of you as you take care of everybody who comes to you. I had to give a negative answer. Maybe I had this strong and invincible attitude over me, I don’t know. Sure thought my DOC made me invincible. Inside I was fighting my fights already. While nobody really asks how are you doing/holding on. Even last week a friend mentioned if I needed this treatment I’m in and if I couldn’t do it on my own. I was bit flabbergasted and shut down at such moments. I don’t have the energy to explain it all, it also just shows what kind of double life I was living. They just don’t have a clue if the severity of my addiction and that stop drinking is just the easy part as I see it now. My latest ex wanted to care as she was co-dependent, I let this happen, but deep down I don’t want to be taking care of somehow (hope this makes sense).
Things getting more clear now in therapy that these kind of effects have made me emotionally unstable with weak boundaries or no boundaries at all. Still not used of being there and still not a lot of treatment. But somehow I feel some differences, due to their standard program. And yeah the treatment is primarily focussed on diagnoses.
Greetz and have a good 24 hours and thanks for listening
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Day 166
So far it’s just a day, neither good or bad. Did some batch cooking for the freezer. Cinema later this afternoon, so this day has all the potential to go from mediocre to great. 
@MrsOdh sending you strength and keeping you and your family in my thoughts
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Day 12
Early check-in,went to a early bird AA meeting this morning,I really enjoyed it, good way to start the day. HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD SOBER DAY!
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Latest update.
There will be no new surgery today.
During x-ray for the planned surgery they discovered fluid in his lungs.
Know when I think of it, he did say it was difficult to breathe when the ambulance came. We though it was because of the intense pain. But this seemed to be the reason.
So now they are going to try and figure out why he has it and where it comes from before they can do anything else.
The don’t want to do the surgery and give anesthesia if there’s any problems with the lungs that can make the risk even higher.
Not sure what do to, or what to think. It feels like it’s just getting worse.
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Checking in this AM. Feeling really grateful today.
Hard things on my mind, like family court, custody for my nephew, his care, criminal trial for sisters death…has me thinking about acceptance, and its role in life and religious doctrine. I believe in accepting and the role it plays for us personally, mentally but also our allignment with understanding we arent in the center or in control. Life has a way of working itself out. But a spiritual learning of acceptance can be taken advantage of or misused when it comes to things that are plain wrong. Acceptance taught to the oppressed on spirital lines has been a tool of the oppressors…its about balance I suppose…notbsure what I can do, but its one day at a time here.
Thats my heavy thought of the day. For me though, Im just about to vlean the cottage (childfree!) the guys took the kids to a new beach with a playground so I could clean without the trio running around. I love when things turn around. Been such a hard yr of sustained challenges that those moments of “shit this sucks” would last and ruts of pain/exhaustion would be hard to get out of, so when one hits now…its like oh, that was just a shit day…wow. it didnt go on for a week or 2. Feel we’re making new memories, coming out of it and as much as caring for my nephew is my goal my family has to be up there too. My husband and oldest arent ready yet fpr having my nephew come back, at least for thwt long. He will always have a place in our home. I have to also respect the trauma/stress that was associated with last yr and half for hubby and daughter too…and work our way there, so Im not suffering those two as well. Anyway, BALANCE!
Happy 24 to you all. So grateful I have found this place. Lots of stuff here that I work through in my mind, and when you ARE taking care of everyone (not just feel or centering yourself with ego, but literally just being a mom, wife, oldest daughter and big sister and Aunt/guardian) I have had to work through this (generally) alone. Nice to have somewhere to put it. Xo.
I edited some stuff out bc there are laws about info shared and just want to make sure im not being too revealing bc crim/fam court are still ongoing. Thx
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My heart is just breaking for u. I cant even imagine the emotional state that ur in and how much worry and fear that ur experiencing. I am praying hard for him and ur family. Im grateful that ur sober still and havent turned to alcohol to cope. That takes strength.
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Hello. No. Not relapsed.
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Morning Check In
Day 552
Good morning TS! How is everyone today? I sure had a struggle getting to work this morning. Lots of construction that was impeding my ability to catch my connecting bus. Thankfully the bus driver noticed me and decided to stop and ask if i needed that particular bus, which I did. I wasnt even at a bus stop and they stopped. Thanks to God for that!
I did my prayer on the way to work and will finish my morning readings etc when i have time. Praying for everyone that is hurting or grieving or feeling lonely today. My heart and thoughts are with you 
Have a great day everyone! 
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Thinking of you today and praying for your family. Xo.
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Day 5
I am at home, clean home with no shit in the fridge.
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Checking in for day 26.
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Day 28: no grazing
Day 748: no pills
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WOW – this was lovely to read – so happy that you do have this meet up group. Love that you are healing well and getting back into your daily routines.
Just_laura same with the horror movies – how was The Pope’s Exorcist? Hope you enjoyed your Saturday morning sleep in.
@flourishingperson1 Moving is always a bit rough – wishing you strength with the move. Congrats on your day 2 – you are doing awesome!
@mischa84 Congrats on your 50 days friend. You are absolutely crushing it!
@pagan Grateful that you are able to discuss your stuff with AI bots – it is important to find a way to release all that we hold onto. Glad you are feeling better today. This is the fun bit in our journey when we start discovering the joys of life without out DOC’s. Enjoy the exploration 
@amy30 yikes- the overwhelming feelings are strong. I’m sorry love. Are you able to prioritize all that’s on your plate and tackle the most important. Do hope that you are able to find time for yourself and not get burnt out. Much love Amy
@jennyh sounds like a lovely day – grateful that you found tie for yourself. Excited for you love – I’m thrilled that you are managing what was unthinkable a few years ago – shows how much you have grown. Wishing you strength (hoping the CF is not bad for you when you start with you new schedule)
@mia2 loads of love my friend! We do see you and hear you – you are a part of our family here and we are grateful for that. Thank you so much Mulan!
@sabrina80 sending you healing vibes love – I do hope it was a bad 24 cold and you will recover soon. Sorry that you are having to make a grocery run – I know how difficult it can be when you are unwell. Sending you comfort and loads of healing Oh – just read your update. I am so sorry love. I do hope that it does not get any worse. I’m grateful that your body told you to stock up yesterday. I do hope you are able to recover very soon.
@mrsodh oh Sohpia that is a very tough decision to make – I’m so very sorry that you and your family are going through this. Sending you so much love and comfort and praying for a good outcome from the surgery. I do think you only had the one choice to make because not doing anything would have caused everything to get worse. We are here with you love. Just saw your update Sophia - my goodness, i am so sorry that the surgery is being postponed. I do hope that they are able to figure something out quickly for him. I can’t even imagine what you are going through right now. Many hugs and prayers your way!
Grateful that you are sticking with the therapy and starting to see some positive differences. I am hoping that your ex is getting all the best care and does recover soon.
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Checking in on Saturday morning
I feel good today and well rested. Finally moving around easily and hoping for a positive day.
I just finished my morning veggie juice and about to do 1/2 hour meditation. Its a beautiful day so hoping to make the most of it.
Hope you all have a wonderful addiction free day. Sending everyone so much love and comfort today
Happy Saturday my sober companions!
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