Today is 100 days no alcohol woooo!!
1.50 no pot of any kind
31.81no smoking 
Iām doing very well
Got work in a few and Iāll be out late
Look forward to coming home to my wife after work 
Take care
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HUGE congratulations on 100 days sober!! Way to go!!
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Butterflymoonwoman
You are a strong sober soldier
No matter how many times Iāve messed up you have been there to support my sobriety and that shows me strength on your end
You are a amazing person
Thank you
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Checking in on day 55. Enjoying my first day off in a week, went to the gym and Iām feeling good. Happy Saturday everyone! 
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That zero is my avatar for like past years. It becomes my avatar as I always been relapsing Day 0 after Day 0 after Day 0 after Day 0. So I put 0 on my avatar. It is now changed and has deeper meaning for me. Itās not about relapsing, but about reminder from where I came from. About believing. Being myself.
Evolving. Living One day at a time. Living at the moment. Grounding. That number became special to me. Same as zzz - itās not about sleeping, but waking up. About living your dreams.
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I do have perspective and idea already. Got this idea already when I started using 0 as my avatar. It evolved with time. I think that is awesome and I feel very exited. I will not answer more as it must be lived through.
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Hi taking to figure out to become mia for a while im doing great just want to be away from everyone who has crossed and stabed me in my back. Having to put on a fake mask evey day and not know who i can and cant trust sucks and i feel as long as i stay i cant be safe hope everyone has a bless day
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ā¦ Like āitās already doneā
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Iām taking care and lay most of the day on my couch.
Made chicken soup, I know that stuff always supports my recovery 
Itās ready in some minutes.
Besides that Iām binge watching Chicago Med 
It didnāt get worse by now, I feel tired and a slight cough is developing. If thatās all Iām lucky 
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Ooohā¦glad your lunch is almost ready and you get to relax and binge watch your show.
I do hope that this is the worst of itā¦
Sending you healing vibes 
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Whatās up? Sounds like you have a lot going on
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Omg, you are reminding me of when I loved Chicago Fire! They did a couple of crossovers and always thought I should get into Chicago Med. Sounds like you have a good plan, really hope you are over the worst already. Take good care
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Ok, it looks like Iām a lot worse at this daily update thing than I remember but itās fine. Day 8, been mostly good. Killing myself at the gym semi regularly seems to both help and hinder at the same time which is annoying but fine
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When Chicago Med is finished Iāll start with Chicago Fire 
I love when shows are intertwined like this.
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Absolutely! Im always rooting for u friend 
thank u for the compliment. That made me smile.
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Second check-in because the first one was slightly chaotic.
Thank you @JennyH and @JazzyS for your words of encouragement, you made me feel a bit less crazy.
Thereās a lot on my plate right now and when I get overwhelmed, I tend to freeze up and procrastinate but thatās really not an option right now. My workload has increased and I canāt afford to bring it down because I need money. Yeah, I knowā¦ shocking! Iām an adult who needs money to live. Stop the bus.
Butā¦ There are some big expenses coming up and they canāt really wait.
If I want to go back to school in the fall, I need to take and pass an English certification test (yeahā¦ I know. English.). And the testā¦ you guessed it! Costs money.
Applying for school isnāt free either.
Iām also getting some paperwork done because beaurocracy. And that is also money.
Then I gotta take a few trips for said paperworkā¦ more money.
My shrink wants to see me face2faceā¦ money.
My medsā¦ money.
My therapistā¦ money.
On top of that, I need to find time to study for the damn test while making the money to pay for it. (Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be if I failed a test meant to prove I know English?) Itās not as straightforward as Iād like it to be, Iāve been relying on Grammarly and autocorrect lots in my work, if I were to write without said toolsā¦ wellā¦ yeah.
And to top it off, one of my clients has gone radio silent.
Soā¦ yeah. None of it is bad, dramatic shit, but itās my shit and itās stressing me out. Having my parents next door really isnāt helping much either.
Butā¦ Iām sober. And grateful that Iām actually in the headspace to deal with life and my desire to complicate my own existence.
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in. Sitting here in Boston and my addict voice just got real loud
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I feel you.
It doesnāt have to be bad or dramatic to stress you out.
Even if I think that money,or maybe more the lack of money is a big thing.
The constant chasing to afford to live is stressful and tiring.
I think youāre doing the right thing going back to school, knowledge and education is sometime you can never get to much of and that you can never loose.
Personally I just got an email yesterday saying that Iām welcome to start the Math (Mathematic B, itās a basic Math course that I donāt have) class Iāve been trying to get in to for years. But have been denied. Itās the city that pays for it, and itās mostly for people who didnāt even finish high school. Theyāve said No every time Iāve tried to apply because I already have two PhDās.
This time they had to say Yes, because Iām hired by the city (Iām a pre-school teacher) and I need this class to get in to university and get my teachers certification. Because the city demands that all teachers needs to be certified.
Itās as I said a basic course,that most people get in High school here. It wasnāt needed āBack in my daysā and I choosed an extra language instead to get enough points in my grades to apply for university. Time has changed ever since.
But Iām freaking out. Iāve thought about telling them that Iāve changed my mind like a million times already.
Iām sure itāll all work out to the best eventually.
Things usually does that.
You can do this!
Weāre all here for you, and will cheer for you trough it all.
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34 days sober. Feel good. Would feel really great if I did not have to do chores. Sober or not chores remain ever present. 
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Last update for today.
Nothing new from the Hospital.
We have got a special permission to come and visit tomorrow late afternoon/evening,so they boys get to see him.
One of my husbands close friends is going to take us to the hospital.
Usually they only allow two visitors at a time, and on specific times during the day. But they are going to make an exception and gave us special permission to come.
I have told the boys that he is really ill, and might not look like himself,be awake or aware that weāre there. But they still wanted to go.
Havenāt told them anything more than that, Iāve decided that Iām only going to tell them if itās getting worse.
Iāll keep you updated.
Once again a huge Thank you to each one of you for your beautiful words, amazing support, thoughs and prayers. I canāt even put words on how much I appreciate that and how warm it makes me feel inside.
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