Checking in sober day 34.
Glad I got out for a walk this morning. Allowing myself to have an otherwise restful day. Evenings are when it gets hard. Reminding myself that alcohol isn’t the answer. Just still have the desire to numb and escape. But I know the short term relief will make things worse in the long run. Can’t wait for vacation.
Day 1225.
Had a good day. Protected myself successfully against being mistreated. It didn’t even stress me out. Learning some major new things, which was chaotic but now its getting clearer. Thankful for that. I think I will keep my second appointment with the therapist.
Watched the netflix documentation Midnight Asia with my mom, astonishing pictures.
Experienced anger towards the evening but managed it well by being aware.
Am worried about my brother bc he is incredibly intelligent but life wise rather dumb and worst of all extremely naive. He has fallen in love with a person that seems to be taking things alarmingly fast and seems to have some issues that shes not dealing with. Hope he doesnt do anything stupid. But I cant do more than give him advice / warn him of possible dangers / encourage him to take care of himself in a loving way.
Feel a deep need to see a bit of the world / move. Ive been feeling stuck in my home town for years. But I dont have money nor energy to change that right now, so I try to accept that and can only be grateful.
I love you guys, we’re doing this. One day at a time.
Doing better means dealing better.
I’m grateful that things clearing up for you and so proud of you that you keep your head up and do the work in treatment.
I totally understand that you don’t want to be taking care of. That makes perfectly sense to me.
And I know you will be strong enough to set boundaries to protect yourself. You need to take good care of yourself first and foremost before you deal with anybody’s problems.
It’s sad to hear about your Ex. Hope she’s doing ok and gets well soon.
Have beautiful sober weekend.
My dear @JazzyS I am back safe and sound, clean and sober.
I share with you some pictures I took
Uploading: IMG-20230810-WA0030.jpg…
Omg Thomas…love the pictures!! So good to hear from you and well done on all your sober time! 54 days!!! 
You are absolutely killing it! 
34 days for me. I am fortunate no cravings. Relationship still not showing the outcome I was hoping sobriety would bring. May your sober journey get easier for you .
tonight will be day 536 of no self harm.
first Saturday since all of the family drama. in itself it wasn’t terrible but having no technology gave me anxiety because I don’t know if someone is trying to reach me about something important (I have a Fitbit I am going to use from now on because I can see notifications from my phone on there). my aunt got mad at me for literally following the no tech rule. “it’s no technology so you brought everything in your house to keep you busy?” I brought some coloring and puzzle books. do you expect me to sit and stare all day??. of course I didn’t say that. I said nothing as per usual.
I can count the amount of sentences I’ve spoken today on my fingers. it has to be less than 10 sentences I’d imagine no more than 6. i am usually a really quiet person anyway but I’m quiet now just because I know nothing I say matters. I am nothing but a bother to my family. aside from my grandpa.
I followed the no technology rule fine except for the 2 bathroom breaks to check my phone. but my mom and aunt were on the phone most of the day. at first it was legit reasons like they were looking for some curtains my grandpa needs. but then they made it a game of who can find the ugliest curtains. and then somehow they ended up looking at shoes. but I got dirty looks for just having my phone in my pocket. it’s ridiculous.
today was overall better than I expected, but still pretty shit. now I have to go to church and lunch with my family tomorrow. we have church every year on the anniversary of my grandma’s death and on her birthday. it’s her 10th birthday since she died. if she was here I think I’d love every Saturday but I’ve started dreading them. my grandpa is the only reason I go
Yesssssssss! My favorite saying. Way to go on those huge numbers!
Day 24. Attended a small function in a pub. No issues and came away happily sober. The drive there and back was peaceful and couldn’t wait to get home see my family. I’ve done plenty of sober visits to pubs and stuff. Usually I dip out when I get bored.
I’ve made a commitment that on this attempt I will not drink AF beer. I felt I leaned on it a bit too much last time around and it kept old habits alive. I’m focused and checking in here regularly.
Is it wrong that when I read other people’s stories of day 1 that I’m like “glad I’m not there” I regularly think how I felt on my day 1 and how I don’t want to be back there. I’ll get up for work and be glad I’m not hungover. I’m using past negitive experiences to remind me what will happen if I pick up.
Anyway, good night it’s 1am here and I’m having a bit of trouble sleeping, going to try clear my mind and drop off.
If you can stomach the taste of oregano oil! My daughter is always making fun of me for the “gross” thinfs I eat and drink 
I think it does help though feel better!
@Mischa84 just wanted to say CONGRATS on DAY 50!!! I am so happy for you lady. You have a lot going on in your life - big things, and youre here sober and Im so happy to have met you on your journey 
Hey guys checking in Saturday night. Good day today, now off the rest of the week till next Sunday, got some stuff to take care of around here. Me and the wife just got done watching this movie called Hell House LLC. That was one of best horrors I’ve seen in a really long time, so we had fun. Gonna spend some time here reading and catching up, then hit the sack SAF. Have a great night guys.
Good morning folks. My rough plan for today:
Morning:
Rest of the day:
Staying mindful and giving my best is what counts anyways! 
Hope you have a lovely, conscious and sober rest of your weekend fam!
Clearly I am still figuring out how to be online lol.
Checking in. A bit le tired. Feel disconnected from my daughter which is what is on my head/chest at the moment. Kids need rules and boundaries, but I believe too their behaviour tells you stuff. She says I pay more attention to her brother, am nicer to him. I definitly treat them differently because she is 7, he is 2. I dont want to be pointing out the things I do for her, that seems silly and selfish…she is probablg supposed to feel this way now; but I remember this dynamic growing up in my house, and rhe dynamic was problematic (I was the oldest in a single parent home, with parents who drank). I guess I dont want her to feel neglected or to actually be neglected; I dont want to wake up 25 yrs from now to my grown daughter explaining to me how fucked up her childhood was bc of me. Losing a child wasnt my fault, or my sister being murdered and the mess we have been in since…I just dont want all of this STRESS to go on, and effect me and my children and husband also.
Realizing more and more that I have to take care of me, and it is so hard whdn you feel the strain of thousand things needing to be done and people cared for. I find it funny how people tell me take care of myself, but everything needs to be done urgently (when they talk to me about it). Or to ask for help, yet everyone asks me all the questions or looks to me to organize and advocate and stay on top of. I DO NOT really mean I am doing this all alone, i do not. Its a hyperbole that I think sure alcoholics feel, but I think when you lose a child its lonely; and when your sister and best friend dies, and in such a disgusting senseless way its also lonely af. Its okay to say youre alone in something…its okay to say that. Just not to use it to keep peopke out, or to not also find your support and people. We can be and feel two thinga at the same time.
Anyway, as always my kids are on my mind. Daughter especially. Just feel like im making all these mistakes bc Im tired and have so much to deal with. Dont want her to grow up with a stress cloud over her. Want to breath light into her childhood (and her brother and my husband too) xo.
Note! Just to note Im not more pritective over my daughter in this case bc she is a girl. My friend thought this, and I just explained to him my concern over the effects of everything on my daughter is because she lost her sister when she was 3 and experienced it, she wrnt through COVID and her Aunt who she was close with then also died and her cousin who is high needs came to live with us. My son didnt go through all of that, he wasnt born, he sadly will not remember his Aunt and he is too young to undefstand his cousins challenges socially and also does not understand his cousin (edit - not nepjew!) does not want to play with him. Its not because she is a girl and he is a boy, its because he is 2. Just bc I know I talk mostly about my daughter. Xo.
Checking in on day 193 sober. Pretty chill day today. Had the house to
Myself and just watched some tv and played with my fiddle. Turning in.
Checking in!
I had to go to a party last night where there was a lot of drinking but I managed to stay strong all night and not drink. Even though I felt left out, I knew that if I had participated I would’ve come home and drank even more to finish off the night, ultimately waking up with an awful hangover. Glad that I woke up sober today!
@brokenwolf wanted to wish you luck with your tournament today! We are all rooting for you my friend! 
@noshame Congrats on your 100 days!! Well done – keep up the amazing work.
@tyland good to see you checking in. How are you doing? I’m sorry you are not feeling safe – I do know how important to be true to yourself and be in a safe environment. Please let us know if we can help you in any way.
@bear21 congrats on passing your 1 week milestone! There really is no right way or wrong way to check in. Do what feels right and know that we are here whenever you need support. Good to hear from you – keep up the great work. I’m sure the workouts will get better as you tack on your sober days – it may ever get easier
@amy30 my goodness Amy – that does sound a bit overwhelming! I’m sorry love. I know with dealing with one moment in time you will be able to tackle all of this. We are here for you to talk it out when it gets to be a bit too much. I think you are starting to stress yourself out about the test – you will be great. Grateful that you are in a sober headspace.
@tim904 Just now seeing your check in – welcome back to the community. How are you doing now? Were you able to silence the addict voice? I find that when the voice is talking all the nonsense – I try to focus on why I started down the sobriety path. I also try to listen to something light and funny which helps me focus on something else.
@mrsodh thank you for the update Sophia. Glad that you and the boys will be able visit your husband tomorrow. Much love – we will be with you in spirit 
@mia2 Glad you had a good day love and so thrilled to read that you will be keeping therapy appointment. Maybe find ways to enjoy / explore your home town. Something to do while you save up for trip(s) and get to check out the rest of the world. I only recently realized that there is so much near me that I still have not seen or experienced.
Don’t give up hope love – I do hope it gets better for you. You are doing so great with your sober time.
@sadmemequeen I’m so sorry that your family members are giving you such a hard time. Grateful that you did have your coloring books and puzzle books to keep you occupied (so right that you shouldn’t have to sit there in silence looking blankly at them). Smart to have your fitbit so that you still get your notifications. I do hope it gets easier Megan.
thank you I really hope so as well
