No more news from the hospital.
Kids starts school tomorrow, and I’m going to at work all day.
Until 17.30, I’m closing our school section tomorrow,like every Monday.
Oddly enough it feels pretty good to ne going to work tomorrow. My colleagues knows about the situation,and promised me that I could swap with one of them so I can get in after I’ve dropped the kids off at school Thursday if my husband isn’t home yet. (pretty sure he won’t be at home,but I didn’t know that when we talked about it)
Kids are looking forward the first day of school and I think it’s good for all of us to focus on something else. Even if it probably won’t be as easy as it sounds.
A huge thank you once again to everyone for your encouragement and support.
Hopefully soon you will be able to get a correct diagnosis and then treatment for whatever is causing these problems.
Hopes that that this will help you tremendously. Sorry you are suffering through so much.
Did you have these mobility problems when you working at the day care?
Hugs.
I had them when I was at the daycare and I was in a lot of pain everyday but I love the job so much that I was able to distract myself from it for most of the day when I was working at least
Day 167
I had a very quiet and relaxed day without the family. Did some chores around the house, had a bath with a sponge bob bathbomb, sat outside in the sun making this little beauty:
3 days no weed
33 days non smoking
102 days no alcohol
I’m on a little break from work and thought I’d check in
I’ve been awake since 6am and only had two 2mg nicotine lozenges
I’ve been at work for 6hours and 30min with no lozenges. I could buy some anytime and was tempted a few times but I didn’t. My cravings aren’t too bad and I don’t want to go backwards.
When I’m home from work I’ll be proud of myself for not giving in
I’m struggling a bit emotionally today but i made a point of turning my trip to the supermarket into a longer walk around my local park. I also did a relaxing guided meditation after dinner. This is day 78 which doesn’t sound all that great so I spent a bit of time working out that I’ve only drank alcohol on four occasions in the past 17 months which I think I should feel good about.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day.
@Ceeds congrats on your week+ @Mno thank you 🩵 it really was. @Mischa84 congrats on 50+ days @Sabrina80 feel better soon. 🩵 @JazzyS thank you 🩵 yay for your swelling going @Noshame congrats on triple digits AF @Cp25 welcome back sorry about the relapse though sending strength 🩵 @Saturn81 congrats on your week sending strength 🩵 @HillbillyChris congrats on 2 years @mx_elle congrats on 30 days no weed so proud of you 🩵
@Pattycake congrats on 40 days @Mia2 so sorry about the depression sending strength 🩵
1105 days no alcohol.
570 days no cocaine.
85 days no vape.
The past three days have been a lot. Socialising is very new and drains a lot of my already limited energy, even when I enjoy it. So I did it Friday, then yesterday morning for an hour, last night I was out with family for a meal for my brother’s and step-brother’s birthdays, then today I attended a bbq at my Auntie’s, because my eldest cousin and his family were down, who I hadn’t seen since June 2019. It was quite a long visit, I was there for 3.5hrs, and they still live in the same house where my cousin abused me. My brother and his family were there too, and they weren’t leaving until 4:30pm, so I didn’t feel able to leave earlier than that.
I have a busy week ahead, with medical appointments tomorrow and Tuesday, Therapy on Wednesday, and a course on Friday. So on Thursday I’m hoping to be able to decompress, but right now it feels rather far away.
Checking in on day 800. Staying with friends in Austria. We went to a vast lake today to rent a boat and swim. Going to bed tired and sunburnt but sober. Wishing everyone a pleasant and peaceful day or night.
I had to hit the reset button for grazing. Had I not grazed today, it would have been 30 days tomorrow. I used depression as an excuse, but now I use it as an explanation. I’m not disappointed in myself because that was still a huge accomplishment for someone who has always struggled with food.
As overwhelmed as I was yesterday, I’m feeling better now. I managed to get through my work over the weekend and got a plan in place for the next couple of weeks and how to tackle everything.
I’m exhausted, so I might just take the day tomorrow to get organised and put pen to paper. The plan is to get everything done one step at a time, like sobriety… but for life.
The idea of going back to school is kinda exciting, if nerve-wracking.
Checking in Day 553
Im struggling emotionally today. I dont feel good. Im so angry and extremely sad. Im not sure 100% what brought this on. Work was okay so nothing at work caused this. Im reflecting too much i think. Im thinking of my past and staying there instead of just allowing those thoughts to come and then go. Initally there were urges to act out thru my ED. I havent given in which has taken alot out of me honestly. And bcuz of that i now have urges to use drugs. Which of course i wont do. I just feel like screaming. This battle in my head annoys the hell out of me and im tired of having to constantly pull myself out of it. Constantly challenging my thinking so i do the next right thing. There is no option for me to give up. So i have no choice but to keep plugging away at recovery. Now that i have vented and do feel abit better. I am going to do some deep breathing and some mindfullness. Try praying. Pull myself out of this and get myself back to my positive cheerful self Thanks TS for being here and giving me a safe space to talk
Nothing wrong with screaming if that’s what you feel like doing! I remember when you joined. You’ve come such a long way. It was awesome to see you still around when I came back. You’re doing amazing lady
I used to have a heavy bag years ago, it was a great way to kick, punch and yell if needed, lol
I think you’re amazing, Dana. You face shit upfront and tackle it.
sending strength 🩵
Thanks TS for being here and giving me a safe space to talk 
