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My commitment to stay sober today is clear and justified. Doing some recovery work today.
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@Louloubelle welcome to the check-in thread 
pour the wine out and get rid of the bottle, or pass it on to someone else ASAP.
@Thumper1213 congrats on 2 weeks 
@Catmama23 Iām sorry about the interaction with the stranger, I hope youāre okay now. I also hope your kitty will recover quickly and not experience the negative side effects. 
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@MooseTracks congrats on a sober holiday
@Sara.eve good luck for your new job 
@GOKU2019 I hope the medical professionals get to the bottom of your stomach issues ASAP feel better soon
@Just_Laura Iām glad that the water helped and you did it for your daughter 
I hope you hear from her school very soon
1106 days no alcohol.
571 days no cocaine.
86 days no vape.
Typed this last night but fell asleep before doing what I doā¦
I managed to get some sleep last night, more than I thought I would, ahead of my health assessment first thing this morning anyway. Itās always hard to talk about all of my mental and physical health challenges, but it went mostly okay, and the assessor was nice enough.
I managed to do my morning routine before I drove across town to find signal for the assessment, and when I got home I did my morning walk, but I havenāt managed to do any of my other activities, and itās been like this a few days now so Iām feeling discombobulated.
I am up early again tomorrow (today) for my Cardiac appointment, that Iāve waited 18 months for. I really hope they can get to the bottom of the issues Iām having.
š©µ
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@JazzyS thank you for the message lovely. The wine is gone (not consumed!) & Iāve woken up sober & happy. Thank you 
X
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@CATMANCAM thank you for the welcome! Iāve been watching the thread for a while but never participated until yesterday. Going to make this a habit.
And yep, the wine is gone. And Iām still sober. Very happy this morning 
x
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It came at me out of nowhere. Anxiety just hit on day 27 like a ton of bricks. For no good reason. I thought I was over this hump.
Today is not going to be pleasant and I need to put the brakes on this quickly.
It all centres around work and speaking in front of my teamās during meetings. Itās nonsense, I do this regularly but I get it into my head that all of a sudden I loose the ability to speak in front of a group.
Iāll flesh this out a bit later but itās very disappointing. I feel like Iāve had a big back slide today.
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I know I said I was going to bed, and now I will be closer to my usual time, but I just have to vent about something.
The building I live in has a reputation, and I knew this way before I moved in 6 years ago. Iāve kept to myself the whole time but Iāve witnessed some crazy shit over the years. Mostly through my peephole. Not that itās the first time, but a dealer currently lives upstairs. Luckily of the two drugs I have not and will not ever touch. Traffic was very high for a while around the time I came back here, but something happened one night, and it became very quiet. I was hoping he got raided, but no.
Problem is, my neighbor, who I share a backdoor with, is a customer. He has people coming in and out of the back driveway, where I park, all night. Headlights shining through my curtains. Car doors slamming constantly. All sorts of strange lights and noises. I can even see them smoking (crack) in the cars. Itās obnoxious.
The landlord said heās getting evicted, but it must take time. It takes months of unpaid bills before they shut off your electric, and he just ran an extension cord into the hallway outlet the other day.
I lived in a crackhouse when I was 19, with my exes family. I learned all about that lifestyle and that itās not something to mess with. I just want it out of my building 
Rant over. Goodnight.
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Busy doing stuff on the new house. Moving, finally, in about 4 weeks when the carpets are fitted and internet sorted.
Anyway, busy and preoccupied me is checking in very much sober.
Looking forwards to 10 months in a few weeks.
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An anonymous tip off to the police sounds in order if you ask me. I couldnāt live with that. Hang in there. In the meantime get blackout curtains for your bedroom and ear plugs. At least youāll sleep better. 
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I donāt see this as a slide. A slide is going back to old ways of coping with the anxiety, like using your drug of choice. Your anxiety could just be urging you to pay attention. Is this the first time youāll be speaking in this setting sober? Maybe your brain is trying to make you take note of that so you can celebrate that win. Feel those feels, acknowledge the anxiety and keep moving forward. Speaking kindly to our brains can only help. 
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Checking in sober doing something to help my sobriety each day also been getting down on my knees each morning and asking my higher power to keep me sober just for today 
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Iām here, Iām alive and Iām sober. Day 9.
All your positive vibes, thoughs and prayers helped.
My husband is getting better, and might come home this weekend.
Heāll be bed bound, will going to need a wheelchair to be able to eventually move around. Because he has back and hip problems since the car accident,and now this on top. Will still need a lot of different medication antibiotics and painkillers,and they discuss if heāll need a nurse coming in once a day. (They usually comes to visit old people that lives in their own homes instead of an retirement home here)
For a while,they donāt know for how long. A new X-ray will be done today and if it doesnāt show anything new, and if the situation keeps improving heāll be home soon.
It looked so much darker yesterday, itās amazing how quickly itāll turn.
Thanks to everyone who kept him in your prayers. 
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Iām glad things are looking better today. Sending you strength and love
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Thank you for your feedback and advice. I speak in front of groups at work, in a production environment. Sometimes when thereās something going on or I have a lot to say I get the fear about 24 hours before and it growsā¦ I feel like Iām going to open mouth and nothing will come.out or that my voice will be rattling with nervesā¦ more often than not or even always once I get going you canāt shut me up. Thereās no one better than me at speaking when I get going.
It seems like the anticipation and overthinking of the act itself is no reflection on how it will actually go. I think the worst and how Iām going to say all this stuff and I get overwhelmed like I did before work this morning.
I spoke when I came in, I delivered weāll and I have some.more meetings later today that I will have no issues withā¦
Last time when I was in triple digits sober I suffered quite a bit with this and this time I am determined not to go down the same road. But after 20 something days I felt it just came right back to me.
I need to try and stop overthinking these thingsā¦ I will get better at midnfullness, giving myself credit and stop trying to cover absolutely everything in my head in the lead up to these episodes.
Thanks for listening.
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Omg! Thatās amazing news. Iāve been keeping a close eye on this thread hoping to get good news. You must be so relieved. Wishing your husband a speedy recovery from this ordeal.
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Day 5 checking in. The shaking started last night. The same procedure as every time i guess.
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Glad to hear youāve had some positive news. Thinking of you X
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Iām so glad and relieved to hear that! I hope he recovers fully and quickly! Have you been able to go see him at all?
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Thank you,we havenāt been able to see him. But thatās okey. And maybe itās actually best for the boys that we havenāt been there.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1164. I hope everybody has a good one!
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34.59 no smoking 
103.51 no alcohol
4 no forms of Marijuana
Have a good day everyone
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