This can’t make any communication easy I’d imagine. I’m hoping that you had a better day today. Just saw your lovely update – So grateful that you were able to meditate and connect! Bless your mother for her lovely reminders (I’m sure they helped get you through the weekend bs). @catmancam glad that you were able to figure out that it was your achilles -I do hope that the R.I.C.E method helps. It won’t be the same as walking but could you do chair exercises / stretches – It may help release endorphins that could be helpful. @catmama23 so welcome my friend – Grateful to see you checking in and fighting for your sobriety @karenkw so lovely that you were able to catch up with your work friend today. @butterflymoonwoman So glad you made it through the day with some energy. I’m sure your being awake for over 24 hours straight could cause all the evening symptoms. Glad your book arrived and do hope that it is helpful. I love seeing how well you are doing!
This made me smile and chuckle – I do hope you are able to get yourself a monkey
I do hope that you are able to make this happen - i am learning how important rest and sleep are to our healing. Sending you strength my friend
Checking in on Tuesday evening
230 days free of alcohol and weed
645 days free of cigarettes
I did catch up all my accounting work (been 2 weeks behind) and got the month end shit completed. Searched for 2 hours for my US passport (will search other boxes tomorrow) – drives me nuts not knowing where things are. Did 45 min light exercise, i did manage 13k steps, watched Halloween Ends (cause i was pretty wasted when i saw it last) - still sucks balls, baked some goodies for the restaurant and cleaned. Did not need a nap again today - Hooray! I haven’t been sleeping well and pain is crazy most days - but today everything was manageable. So i do feel like i kicked ass today. I also listened to a great soundtrack from my fav Indian movie and danced (not well as i was wincing and my moves were not smooth - but i did not care – it was fun). Today marks 9 weeks on this gluten free diet!
I’m one week away from 6 months. The thought of me drinking hasn’t crossed my mind since the first few days of me quitting. I have no problem at all working as a bartender. If I reminisce with someone over a certain drink I used to like, I seem to have to mention that I don’t drink anymore. I’m proud of it, and not ashamed to explain why. It took a lot of trial and error on my part but I truly understand what I am. There is no doubt about it. It is what it is.
My friend, and our bar manager, celebrated 5 years today. I’m so proud of her. We drank and partied together when she first started. We were very much the same. Shots shots shots blackout. She had her ‘aha!’ moment long before me, but it was the same. One day that was it. Though she never reached out for help. She just stopped. I could see her frustrated, and sometimes angry, seeing me still acting like an idiot. That whole time I was jealous of what she had. Now, of course, I’m so happy she’s living her best life.
On a more serious note, a few weeks ago I suffered a panic attack. It came out of no where while I was brushing my teeth. I spiraled and truly thought I was having a heart attack until it felt familiar to me. I used to get them often when I was in my early 20s. I didnt even know what was happening then, bc Google didn’t exist, and always attributed it to drinking/ smoking weed. This was my first one in over 10 years. I suffered another last Thursday, before Invite, and now it feels like it’s stuck in my head. I keep feeling them coming on, so I breathe before it gets worse, but then I’m still thinking about it.
I’ve always had anxiety since childhood, I think it’s part of why I drank. I was a serious hypochondriac in high school. My friends were annoyed by it, but I always believed I was seriously ill with one thing or another. Then I drank non stop for 20 years and it went away. Huh This is new for me now and I know worrying about it makes it worse. But I do.
Anyway. I think I’m gonna up the yoga for a while. I have been slacking on real workouts bc I’ve been working so much. My job is extremely physical, and definitely a workout some nights, but I probably need some calm.
Hey sober fam just saying hello. Also to share that I just finished doing a hospital and institutions panel at a detox to share my experience, strength and hope. Was nervous but I made it and was rewarding. It’s a privilege to me to be of service and help another battling addiction. I’ve been really seeking my higher powers will for me and asking for the wisdom and courage to carry it out.
I’ve been lead to many opportunities lately to help others and it’s just so crazy. Im currently having a great experience in my recovery and looking for the lessons even in the not so great times. Everything isn’t always perfect but life is so much better than it ever was being loaded. Ive finished my step 5 out of the N.A. step guide and will be going over that with my sponsor Sunday then it’s off to step 6.
Life is good right now and I’m grateful that my desire to be clean is greater than wanting to be loaded tonight. Hope everyone is well
Good morning. Day 15. I’m doing ok, I have some issues but mostly under control. Strange dreams the last few nights that are lingering as I get up and ready for work but they’re not terrible, just a little unsettling.
I’ve thought about how I glamorize drinking and seem to forget about all the bad stuff that comes with it. I need to remember warts and all if I’m going to change my relationship with it. I know it’s just trying to trick me.
I did Christmas sober last year and looking over my notes I wrote that I was a 10 on the happiness scale, “absolute bliss” on the 26th of December. I need that again.
I’ve set a target of 11 months sober. I’ll talk more about that in the coming days but secretly between me and you I’m hopeful to leave it behind for good. Just don’t tell my beast I’m trying some trickery of my own…
Have a great day.
Day eight down. Thumping headache persists and im now waking uo at 3am. It is wild wild wild that i have willingly taken a drug that can fuck me up like this more than a week later.
I didn’t want to cause such a discussion here. Sorry for that. Anyway thank you for your posts and the many different views that are possible.
It’s not one thing that works for everybody.
I never expected to find sobriety in the pool or in dating… That’s why this post triggered me hard. It’s just parts of my life, I am reporting about sometimes, positive things, disappointing things. As many others here do too, as sharing releases.
At the moment I am still a bit blocked to share, not sure how to go on.
Yes I haven’t found my final key yet and no,
I won’t follow every suggestion.
As one doesn’t fit for all.
Pleased to see you still here Juli, compassion was the ONLY thing at the time that pulled me out of the deep hole i was in when i was at my worst…my mother tried tough love with me for years and it only served to push me deeper and deeper because i believed it when she told me i was stupid, an idiot, a shit mother etc etc i felt truly worthless…on my rock bottom incident it was the nurse that gave me a hug when she didnt have to…the neighbours that checked on me in the days after…the friends that rallied…the people on here that understood and tried to help that made the diffrence for me to realize i was worthy of love and a better life…so here i am almost a year completely sober because of compassion. My love to you
As I mentioned before there are no linear stories and some “hardcore” sobriety members as I see most of them had been in very terrible places. I see sobriety as the only one option here and their point of view sometimes are black or white / life or death type of mentality. Addiction is terrible disease and no one know how fast we can get to those terrible places too. For the most that seeking help - THOSE hardcore people are their only HOPE here (and ofcourse a Higher Power). We need to understand and respect that.
Yet I noticed (myself) that (some) (sometimes) those people are (or maybe) can seem very rude and disrespectful to others who are in not so serious and severe situations.
Yet I guess they know what are ahead and want to PROTECT us. Sometimes honest insult can help and especialy for those who needs a bit of a slap. That’s how I see this.
Yet again, insulting ( I’ve been too insulted many times like this that lead me to leaving this group for years) and then deleting a message or just posting some random photos ignoring the situation where a person is insulted or tries to do a polite discussion about this whole situation… That is disrespectful. I don’t know, the only point of view that justifice this situation is again “that honest slap” that i mentioned before.
I trully don’t suggest You to go away as I did… That only digged a deeper hole for me in my addiction and problems. The best I can suggest for you is a practice of Forgiveness that is the best we can do for ech other.
F*** addictions and F*** Hate
Together we will overcome all the negativity
Choose Light instead of darkness
I needed a good mix of compassion and tough love to decide to keep trying. Compassion was such a pleasant surprise to find here on any social media and tough love was good for challenging the thought patterns that weren’t working.
Keep at it.
You have made it through what many call “HELL WEEK” because it is so darn hard!
And You Did It! Big congrats!
Now you are going through Heck week which may still feel like Hell Week.
You are missing what you have been tethered to for quite some time.
Many think of the smoking, vaping, nicotine, as their friend… it really is not.
It has been an addictive habit and although your nicotine level decreases quickly, you still have neural pathways and associations, and habits to deal with… …
Hoping that each day will be better for you! So Proud of you!
I see you said you were doing 2500 a day although I do not know what that means. Hope this card is accurate in some way ( the drawings)
40 days sober!
40 “I’m proud of myself” days.
40 days with you guys, reading every day, posting almost every day, venting, bragging, being helped… This community means a lot for me.
Today I’m taking my aunt and kids to the zoo in Rotterdam. For twins it’s gonna be first time, Sacha was few times in the zoo’s before but I’m not sure if he remembers. Lucky that twins are less than 3yo so I don’t have to buy tickets for them I can’t wait when they will see real wolves, all 3 are obsessed with wolves so it’s gonna be something special for them definitely.
I have mixed feelings about zoos. Wild animals belongs to wildness but as a mother I’m glad my kids can see them in real, not in the book or TV. And I want to believe here in Rotterdam they are doing good job, I hope there is no suffering etc. I really hope so.
Have a good day sober fam! Love ya
I do hope that you are able to make this happen - i am learning how important rest and sleep are to our healing. Sending you strength my friend
This is new for me now and I know worrying about it makes it worse. But I do.
