Hi,
I’m still sober but am ashamed to say I have been on a 2 month drug binge. I can’t believe I have gone down this road again I’ve had enough now and want to stop. I hope I can find the strength to make better choices. I feel terrible to say this. I look terrible and my mental health is ruined. I need some strength x
Day 3 almost complete not long home from work - usually would be home beer & bed however ive decided on a small ALCOHOL FREE BEVERIDGE! tomorrow will be a test - its usually day 4 that grabs me! Keep up the good work everyone
Congratulations on reaching the 500s!! Super excited for u!
Day 3: no grazing
Day 752: no pills
Congratulations on your 500 ODAATs Teresa
What a beautiful thing.
Good work
15 days AF. Been feeling off this week like I’m just going through the motions. The good news is I’m doing the RIGHT things. I just wish I felt better. Probably just the underlying anxiety I have about the upcoming changes and challenges in my life. It’s ok. Lots to be grateful for. I will NEVER drink again and go back to my old way of living. I know the ending of that story!
Aw Hayle big hug
I’m sorry to read this.
Grateful you reached out. Get back here where you belong. We are all here for you. If you’re willing.
And by the way.
I missed you.
It’s never too late to get back up again and dust yourself off.
Checking in
Day 556
Just thought Id check in to get my anxiety off my chest.Today has been about change. Sooo much change is happening in our lives right now and it feels overwhelming honestly. It has to do with my sons schooling this coming year, to our school tour this Friday to meet everyone, to his nursing situation for school (we get to meet her Friday also), and his issue with his eyes (which we now have to wait until the 1st week of September to speak with someone). I dont mind change but it brings about alot of anxiety for me. This anxiety is making me want to find ways to cope with it, such as acting out thru my ED. So instead, im going to make sure that what i do are healthy things to cope. I still feel very new to managing my emotions. I just have to find what works for me. Im trying to trust in my HP and do what i can to advocate for my son thru this entire process. Its just alot. But it wont last forever Just trying to stay positive about everything. Thanks for letting me vent this out.
I am so sorry, I can hear the pain in your post (and how tired you are of dealing with it). I hope you find some peace and strength
@MrsOdh Yes, I believe in you to stay sober this time!
I think its great how far you’ve come. But looking back isnt the best, nor is looking to the future. We just have to make it through one day at a time.
I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this all day I can only ask myself where do you visit?
But seriously I didnt expect this answer. You’re right, maybe the grass really is greener on the other side, wow.
Gave me sth to think about…
Checking in sober day 38.
Bad headache all day. I couldn’t sleep last night and have to start cutting out caffeine. Nothing is really helping.
5 more days til vacation. Definitely need that.
Checking in.
Mixed day.
Still low on energy. Crying is gone but anger is still there. Feeling angry really sucks. I never do anything, but I still feel like I dont have control over me and its scary.
Wanted to do nothing on my day off and just munch sth and watch shows. But I couldn’t stand standing still. It leads me to all kinds of unhealthy desires. So I swallowed myself and worked on my goals. Turned out rather fun and I made progress, which Im immensely proud of.
Have been attacked by negative rumination / thoughts of guilt and worry repeatedly throughout the day. Deflected them okay. Still deflecting
It can be so hard to say no to these negative thoughts. I dont want to feel guilty but then I feel guilty for allowing myself to let go of my guilt. I have been in the deep ends of this for years as a teenager. Ive made huge progress since then. But if left unattended I slip right back into these brain patterns.
Again, I just need to silence my mind.
Love goes out. Thinking about you guys and enjoying reading your check ins. It really is heartwarming to see the same names pop up every day / and the new ones.
We just gotta get through the day
Day 16
Better Day today.
Actually yes and got new reading glasses a couple months ago. Mostly the headaches are muscle tension.
Checking in on day 802. I have a work trip next week, and an important person in my community has invited me out for drinks. I will need to navigate that somehow. But not tonight. Tonight I am going to bed sober. Flying back from vacation tomorrow and ready to be home again. Good night, sober warriors.
Day 339
Banked my 11 months a few days ago, still AF looking forward to hitting 1 year AF.
Hope all is well, just at work as per usual nothing else to report really.
11 months is such a big deal. High Five.
5 days no marijuana
36 no vapes or ciggs
105 no alcohol
I’m in great spirits
Maybe a pink cloud type but I’m greatful I am here sober
Ordered pizza and fries from a pizza place for the wifey and me
It’s good to be where I am but I have a lot to do. A bit of weight on my shoulders with work and living situation and license situation. Other then that I’ve been saving like crazy amounts. Possibilities are here, I just need to act and do it right.
Take care everyone
Day 318 checking in.
It’s been a long week.
Just glad to be here still counting