Not yet! 
18 september is my sober date 
But near…
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Morning check-in with one of my most favorite people!
And we do own it @Juli1! Wondering why I always seem to be a day behind. 
anyway checking in clean free and with an open heart-mind.
sober Thursday all y’all
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Very well done, Beautiful
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Days PMO free: Day 21
Days with PS5 in the closet to close the day: 29
Days went to bed the same time with my wife: 29
Good morning all.
Last night, i started to feel myself get overwhelmed with negative emotions/shame/guilt. It was kind of overwhelming until i understand what my brain really wanted: Dopamine. It misses that fix as a 20 year addict, even 21 days free it’s like crying out for that trash. It’s like once i understand what’s really happening to me, i smile. You dont have power over me, not today anyway, i see what you want, and instead of giving you that trash, i give you CONNECTION. I talked to my family, friends, not about me, ABOUT THEM. Then last night, just layed in bed and watched shows with my sons and wife. It’s this formula along with TS and all my tools, that can get me to 365 and beyond. I’m fighting selfish/self absorbed behavior every single day. I have to have a counter to all my non-sense. My counter is connection and focus on others. This morning, grown man sitting up on this keyboard with tears in my eyes, just happy to be on here and working thtrough my struggles. Yall have a great day.
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Day 92. Well last nights tattoo did go well, but i was sitting there looking at it and i am happy, but it needs some more shading lol. Im so picky and i knew that when i was doing the tattoo, but we both kind of wanted to get the color in. It’s ok even tho i colored it i can still go in and do some shading. So we will when it heals.
Getting ready for my zoom meeting, not to nervous but i really need this assistance to stay active for me so i can focus on school and stuff. I mean if not ill do what i have to do, and then tomorrow i go for orientation from 12 to 4 at college and idk, i just am struggling with it, like I’m so scared to get up and actually do it, i just need to keep telling myself i can do this, I will get through it and i will do amazing. So yeah much love everyone, my girls are coming down today bc they are picking up the camper to bring it home and we’re all going to go out for lunch. My mom was nice and wanted to me to come home until Sunday, but i just can’t bc of orientation i dont want to miss it. Talk to y’all later. Well editing my post, got on zoom and nobody was there, it said her name and I know i logged on correctly, so i called and she said she had been sitting there for 11 minutes, I felt like this was going to happen, i know I logged on and it just sat and spun and said her name. I hope i dont get in trouble for this, she scheduled me a new appointment for Monday, but still I’m scared now wtf.
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I still want a drink, I still want a cigarette at break time at work with everyone else and the memories of getting high on numerous substances are very glamorous, oh the good old days!
Still an alcoholic, still sober.
The mind is a beautiful yet dangerous tool. It will make you do things you don’t really want to do, remove pain over time and expect you to repeat the whole process again.
Keep your tools sharp.
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Day 82 and it’s been a little bit of a struggle. I went to my daughter’s harp recital last night and despite having my phone turned to silent my alarm to remind me to take my evening meds went off. I know it’s not the end of the world but it made for an awkward feeling for the remainder of the performance and I woke with tension in my shoulder. I had been going to meet up with a friend today but he cancelled. I had been looking forward to seeing him as he lives out of town now.
I had an electrician to the flat to install a new bathroom light, which went smoothly and then I continued on with the tidying. That took a lot of emotional effort today but I still got another bag of junk into the bin. I then went to the place I donated some old clothes to as they give you tokens in return for your donation and I picked up some plain fabric that I intend to decorate and then make into tote bags. I already put the sewing machine out and I think I’d like to treat myself to a day off from tidying tomorrow by being creative.
I’m now taking a bit of time out in a cafe before the kids get home from school. I brought two pens with me so that I can do some sketching.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day.
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@SelfLove_42 Congratulations on 3 weeks free from ur addiction! I really like ur post amd love how u mentioned connection. Im going to remember that when i get urges to use or engage in my ED to cope, bcuz i think putting the focus on someone else will help.
@flourishingperson1 Congratulations on ur 1 week of freedom! So happy for u!
@Hoss ED stands for Eating Disorder (at least thats what I use it for) and TS stands for Talking Sober which is this app 
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@SoberWalker A HUGE congratulations on 1800 days! Wow thats an incredible number 
Hope u enjoy ur day celebrating!
@JennyH Congratulations on 50 days!!! Thats wonderful Jenny! Really proud of u!
@Juli1 yay Julia!!! So proud of you for ur 10 days!
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Great, thank you 
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Yay Dana 
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Morning Check In
Day 557
2 weeks Binge Free
Good morning TS fam! I am loving seeing the milestones that everyone is celebrating today! Makes me happy 
I am celebrating a milestone myself. 2 weeks of being binge free! I cant even remember the last time i had 2 weeks of not having issues with my eating. This milestone also includes no emotional eating or mindless eating. I have had urges every single day tho to engage in that behavior but i havent acted out and have been using my DBT program to help me. I never realized how much I struggle with managing my emotions. I have come to realize that I have used something my entire life to cope. Mainly drugs but also food. This has been the first 2 weeks that i havent tried to mask my emotions with any outside source to try and make myself feel better. Its been alot of work but sooo rewarding!! I feel like a new person! 
Anyway, todays plans are to do my usual cleaning and maybe get outdoors to the dollarstore or something. I already worked out (did back, biceps, & cardio) and now drinking my coffee while reading thru the threads. Today is going to be a FANTASTIC day! I feel it Hope everyone has a great day also! Much love 
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Amazing 
Love these numbers!
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Day 978,
Having a rough day. Doubting whether I should share, but it’s one of the few places I feel save to do so. Almost four weeks in the center now and half way there approximately. Like a true addict I want results quickly, but that ain’t gonna happen. So now at four weeks and I feel little improvement. One of the main reason’s is that I’m here for diagnostics not particularly for treatment. It’s mostly observing what they do and a lot of writing. Started to pick a fight with one of the nurses the day before yesterday. She thinks she runs the show according to the addicted me. I shouldn’t waste my energy like that. I’m very tired at the moment, which is logical I geuss due to all the emotions and the stop of the medication (risperidon) for my PTSD. Although it was a low dose of 1 mg, it is still no candy. So quitting it after about a year might logically have an effect in my mood etc. I have to stay calm and push through to a lot. The reward is hopefully at the end, I really need to start trusting the process. Like my therapist just said, you should be proud that your still sober. Trying to be now 
. It’s a hard one for me 
.
Greetz and much love 
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Grateful that you are doing so well and finding a way to eat with others around so you are not alone. ED here is for Eating Disorder and TS is short for this site Talking Sober.
May want to check out the below threads for some other abbreviations - a few have multiple meanings (just depends on context) – like AF can be Alcohol free or as fuck…
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Each day sober is an accomplishment. Don’t undersell all your hard work and try not to focus on where you have gotten to before. Know where your trigger points and prepare to address them in time. For example this weekend – we know things have to change here. Glad that you are already planning to be on this site then but also maybe change up your routines or plan activities to keep you busy. I’m sorry about your boss – that’s his problem and you deserve a better environment- hoping for the best in your hob hunt.
WOW – this was a huge revelation and I’m grateful that you are working on setting these new boundaries with your ex. I’m sure it can’t be easy and I’m sorry that you still do not have your parents ashes back with you. Do think you are doing amazing with your sobriety and in turn making a safe healthy environment for yourself.
@juli1 You ROCK Jules – well done on your double digits and grateful for your commitment. Keep up the amazing work you are doing!
@mrsodh Grateful that your husband is dong better. I totally understand not wanting to take on the responsibility of care when we are not trained. I’m sure you ae doing great and its completely normal to be scared. Sending you strength and more healing for your husband.
@just_laura OK so you had a DAY – my goodness – you handled it like a pro. I’m sure you are exhausted and hope you get some rest before today’s shift. The icing on the cake with the fire alarm was a tad funny – yup – have to laugh at that point.
@jennyH 50 days is awesome! Well done Jenny – you are rocking sobriety! Happy to hear that you are stronger today facing your work situation – hope it gets easier. Great mindset to be more vigilant now and clutch onto the tools with everything you have – knowing that you are vulnerable is when you focus more on yourself and get rid of the “stinking thinking” (thanks Eric for that line)
@soberwalker you are amazing with your 1800 days! Well done on both your milestones – have a wonderful time celebrating you today!
@amy30 that is a lovely number indeed – well done on working the odaat and crushing it!
@flourishingperson1 Great job on your 1 week milestone! Keep strong! 
@SelfLove_42 Wonderful job with your 3 weeks! Hugs my friend – for not giving in and for realizing the falsehoods of the absorbed behavior. So grateful that you chose connection! Grateful that you are working on yourself so diligently and utilizing every tool at your disposal. We are here cheering you on! 
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@mindofsobermike I am sorry about the zoom meeting. I do know the nervousness I get when having to do those as well (not a pro at them by any means and our internet is always on the fritz). You do have her phone number so on Monday when you connect – send her a text that you are logged on. That way if any issues arise she can address them quickly. Deep breathes about orientation. I’m sure you will do great – it’s just a matter of getting up and going. It is a great step towards the future you want and I’m sure it won’t be as scary as you imagine. We will be right here if you need an extra push in the morning.
Ah yes – thank you! So crazy how these feelings never go away even after all the days stacked up and won. I keep my notes from the beginning of the journey to remind me how not easy it was and I do try to focus more on the stories of the struggles rather than thinking on the good ol times (cause lets face it – we did have some good times but the bad times and the side effects are so much worse) Appreciate the reminder that this is a life long journey and we need to always be on alert.
@deelzebub I do hope that the time in the café sketching will be calming for you. Looking forward to seeing your tote bags once completed along with your sketches. I do hope the day turns out to be positive for you.
@butterflymoonwoman SO VERY PROUD OF YOU DANA! Well done on your 2 week milestone. I know it has been a struggle and I’m so grateful to see you doing so well!
@rob11 Grateful that you feel safe here with us – we are here for you my friend. Well done on sticking with the treatment and grateful that you are seeing a hint of improvement. You are right – its hard not to want to see instant results – do trust the process and be proud of the achievements you have achieved thus far. Wishing you luck in adjusting to being off the medication
Checking in on Thursday morning
It’s been a decent start to the day. I tried a 20 minute Red Light Therapy session this morning for my lower back and it really helped - at least for half hour – still, it was great to have not pain in my lower back for a while. I am grateful that the day is starting off well and i have some energy today. Ready to embrace this beautiful day! Wishing everyone an addiction free day / evening - sending much love
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Happy Thursday friend! So glad that the red light therapy worked for a bit. Must have been a nice relief, even for 30 min. Hope u are painfree today and enjoy ur day! Hugs 
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