The latest check in for me so far. Check in for day 10. I am very proud of myself, but today was just not a good day. The move was more stressful than expected. I had to drive the van for the move at short notice and I haven’t driven an automatic for 3 years. It stressed me out immensely. I was on the verge of giving in to the addiction again a few times but then I had to remember that it wasn’t worth it at all. Still, it was hard… I hope it will be easier for me one day.
Two more day til vacation. 3 more days til my birthday. I’m really looking forward to both. But right now I’m not feeling well. I’m not really sure what’s wrong today. I think I’m just dealing with a lot and have been starting to process things from my past. I really need to give myself grace and show myself compassion.
200 days sober…. That seems like a big number to me. Everyday the number goes up so am more thankful for all of you on this site. I don’t say much lately because this new job is demanding a lot of my time and energy but I am on here everyday scanning and reading for strength, encouragement, and a daily grounding in clarity.
@mamador Awesome to see your check in kinda like my sober sister, we are so close in dates. It’s really great to hear about your mental health journey and the positive progress you’ve made. You should be super proud
Today checking in with 515 days- my husband started going to the gym with me this weekend, and we made a change to a quieter closer gym. It’s been a nice change that I’ve needed to get me back into it. Changing my approach from really early mornings, to weekends and maybe an afternoon. Having the company is nice too!
We’ve also been discussing the possibility of moving my son into homeschool as I’m able to work from home, and he has struggled so much with the traditional school system for many many years. Starting to research the online schooling options for kids with adhd, and what it entails. It’s a big decision but it feels right.
Evening Check In Day 559
Work was okay, just loooong. Not a whole lot to do since my client wasnt home. But im not complaining… at least i have a good job that pays decent. It was just hard bcuz i was already tired.
I began heading home and was irritated about the trains. I waited 27 min for a train that was only supposed to be a 6 min wait. Got downtown and the train stopped its service 5 stations before i actually needed to get off. I was super annoyed. It was hot and muggy out. The train was packed full of people. I had to walk home behind others that were walking soooo slow and i had no choice but to slow down which irritated me even more. Then a tiny bug flew in my mouth lol and that pissed me off (I am literally laughing tho as i type this lol). But it turns out that there was an incident up ahead at one of the station platforms. Someone overdosed and another person was giving this person CPR until help arrived. Then I just felt like shit honestly (once I found out what was happening) bcuz i was getting upset earlier when there was someone close to death. Even tho I didnt know this was happening, i realized afterwards that my problems in that moment didnt even compare to this individual that was needing help. It really put things into perspective. Brought on alot of gratitude for sure. I prayed for this person.
Once home i made supper. Ate and relaxed with my boy. The day is winding down and im grateful for another day clean and sober. Hope everyone enjoys their saturday
Been such a great weekend here. Ended up watching Pain Killers and it was very well done (may be trigfering for some though, just to mention that). I do love a good show, and especially when sometjing so serious/cover ups are exposed in a way that does them some justice.
Anyway, thinking of things for September. Want to start a bit of a health kick. I am pretty good with the healthy eatinf/vitamins and my “weird” drinks (as my kids call them but I would like to focus also on exercising, spending less/less time shopping (I shop and stock things we need and spend time especially loojing for 2nd hand things for the kids, family; home…but still…its a way I spend my time and i want to focus it in other places and build other habits) and work towards quitting smoking. I do not have a date yet, but Ive got Alan Cars book & I know he doesnt recommend the aids but I have the gum. For my mental, I want to keep coming on here each day and reading/sharing a bit, continue with therapy also. Its been so nice to have this self care time, and I look forward to starting the new chapter in September its like another year starting when the kids go off to school. Its been very busy in our home since last December, so want to feel around in our life again…I really love our veggie garden, and we’re talking about more chickens and possibly goats in the spring. Im not sure about a full homestead, but you know…its fun to have the dreams…the thoughts and things to work towards.
I havent felt like a drink but you know i had a dream last night I drank, and when I woke up i had that feeling of like shit. And then realized it was a dream. The last cottage we were at it happened almost every mofning I woke up like I had a drsam I drank because it was in my mind maybe I had, but then realized I didnt. Maybe it was because there was quite a bit of alcohol there I do not know. Not a nice feeling, but Ill take a drinking dream over a real drink any day. Anyone feeling those cravings out there stick with it I promise it gets better! Xo.
@brokenwolf I think you should be super proud of 2nd overall Richard. I know not what you wanted but you worked your ass off and still did very well and now you have more motivation and drive to get back into the international competition circuit.
Well done on your 70 days of sobriety Dana! Love all the benefits you are already experiencing from being sober – keep at it – it only gets better! @noshame I do hope your day got easier. Hopefully you can hold onto the feeling of how picking up the weed did not help make the day go by faster or better. You are correct – in sobriety we have to learn to live each day on life’s terms. I’m sorry about your coworkers. Sometimes people are just plain assholes - im sorry you have to work with them, hoping you can find a way to ignore their bs. I know and you know that you are working hard and doing well at the job. Keep strong!
Yeah – I can see how that would take the fun out of it. I do hope you can find a way back to doing creative things just for fun (the beauty of creativity is that it’s subjective and its perfect in its perfections). Thank you for the Gypsy remedy – I too go this route but have never tried thyme and honey tea my throat got badly torn up with a nasty sneezing fit but already feels so much better.
Oh Dana – just hugs – loads of hugs. Hoping that you do get some great sleep tonight and some energy for tomorrow. WOW – just saw your evening check in – oh love its crazy how we can be so worked up and then in a split second on hearing the news be so humbled and have everything put into perspective. @soberbilly you are such a beautiful soul Billy – thank you for being my sober buddy! Love seeing your numbers climbing @amy30 I can understand the hesitance about school especially I you are already feeling so over whelmed. You know your body and mind the best. I know I seriously had to look into my mental and physical health and decide to close down my business for the good of my healing. Not saying that you should give up your dream for going to school – only you will know the answer to this. Just don’t give up on it cause it seems daunting now – you have shown your strength over and over these past few months and I know you can conquer whatever you put your mind to.
Great job Julia – you are doing so well my friend. Grateful that the recovery program is helping you in keeping your commitment.
This is beautiful Mulan! I know it started off flat but I do hope you were able to turn that around for you today. Its ok to feel not ok at times – we can’t have amazing days each day cause then we wouldn’t know what amazing was. @flourishingperson1 Hey you got through the move and the hick ups without giving in to that demon so it was a great day! You should be super proud. Congrats on your double digits. It really is odaat and we are here to lend support when the urges get strong or life becomes too lifey
@Jana1988 Congratulations on the 4 Years !! … SO Happy For You!! Looks like you were celebrating your special day, too! ODAAT you have done it, starting with a day one and going to 1460 days and even more!
@asinineouroboros Well done on your 3 weeks of sobriety! Sorry to hear that you are struggling – the beginning is a rollercoaster of emotions and tests on our ability to refrain from the urges. You are stronger than you addiction. I do believe with support and great practices you can overcome this addiction @karenkw I do hope that you do give yourself the grace and compassion you deserve. Hope you are feeling better now and getting a good nights rest @cueball8n9 Hell yeah my friend – great job on 200 days! It is a huge number and you should be immensely proud of your accomplishments. Great to hear from you and hope the job is as much fun as it is demanding. @Mira_D “weird drinks” now i’m curious - what type of drinks do you make - i know i find mine to be weird with squeezed bottle gourd juice or ginger and zucchini with cucumber – interested in your concoctions. LOL. Great to set a health plan for September. I too used the gum to help with quitting smoking along with a hypnosis app. If you haven’t already done so - check out the Grumpy A-holes (quitting cigarettes/ nicotine products) thread - it has some great stories and advice for quitting smoking.
Checking in on Saturday evening
248 days free of alcohol and weed
663 days free of cigarettes
Its been an emotional day for me as i’m having some trouble with my brother. So in order to not dwell on it and spend the day upset i went super busy and did loads of work. Its been an exhausting day for sure and i’ve stopped now so am listening to the scream coming from all over me. Its all good - tomorrow is Sunday and i do hope to rest. My sis is visiting so will hopefully have some good quality time with her tomorrow. A great vegan find today – Pumpkin spice oreos - these were so damn delicious - i know so much processed crap but today i didn’t care - i did indulge in 1 cookie Hoping everyone had a wonderful addiction free day today - sending you beautiful souls so much love
Evening Check In 
but I would like to focus also on exercising, spending less/less time shopping (I shop and stock things we need and spend time especially loojing for 2nd hand things for the kids, family; home…but still…its a way I spend my time and i want to focus it in other places and build other habits) and work towards quitting smoking. I do not have a date yet, but Ive got Alan Cars book & I know he doesnt recommend the aids but I have the gum. For my mental, I want to keep coming on here each day and reading/sharing a bit, continue with therapy also. Its been so nice to have this self care time, and I look forward to starting the new chapter in September 
my throat got badly torn up with a nasty sneezing fit but already feels so much better.
