Thank you! It’s always a “day 1” journey but I’m not giving up my numbers or progress, I have too much pride if I’m being honest lol
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Hey, nice job on the weed! I’m 515 days in and i can tell you being clear-headed does feel nice, glad you’re already feeling that! That was my biggest vice so i understand, and don’t let anyone else minimize your choice or journey to do your thing.
I still come across that a lot, people still struggle to accept that I’m just not going to smoke weed anymore, especially with it being legal. Just keep your truth in mind and don’t feel like you have to justify it to anyone, because you don’t really owe anyone an explanation in the end!
I’ve noticed the biggest thing is people start to feel insecure when I mention having to completely quit, and they start to explain why they’re either going to do that themselves later or some other thing I never asked for them to share. It’s an interesting thing.
Definitely wishing you success going forward, keep on trucking!
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Day 66.
Just before covid (and my divorce and relapse) i was doing well learning Italian ( i gave up as my wife was having an affair whilst i was on a trip to Italy funnily enough) so… three years later i have started again. Had my first lesson today. Brain is definitely rusty but i am grateful for the chance to start again
Hoping to go to florence next February and be alcohol free for the trip
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Checking in on Day 56. First official day of annual leave and really enjoyed it. We went swimming with the kids, then into a local city to do the back to school stuff. Just back from the gym which was nice, quite hard though as still quite tired from London and swimming. But…3 months ago I attended my Nanna’s funeral with a walking stick so I am soooo pleased with everything I am achieving.
@Timetochange I am sorry you had to go though all of that. Pleased you have taken up learning Italian again and great to have a trip planned. I went to Florence on my honeymoon, beautiful place and beautiful food. You will have an amazing time!
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Checking in sober day 44.
Travel was surprisingly smooth and arrived at my Mom’s early afternoon. Good to be here!
I might have to work some while I’m here (my job is remote) because the woman who was going to cover for me had her baby 3 weeks early. Fortunately mom and baby are doing well! I don’t mind since coworkers have always been good at helping me when I need it.
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@KarenKW enjoy your break 
@Hotic congrats on 1700 days 
@BT824 congrats on double digits
@Curtis-81 welcome to the checking-in thread congrats on your time AF and double digits for no tobacco
@JazzyS congrats on 250 days AF
@Deelzebub 
sending strength 🩵
@Tatitheunicorn96 welcome congrats on your 1 month and 12 days
@Jdiaz welcome back congrats on 9 days AF and your week nicotine-free
1114 days no alcohol.
579 days no cocaine.
94 days no vape.
Today has been stressful. I waited in all morning for a delivery, then I got a ‘failed delivery attempt’ notification saying no one was at home, but my buzzer didn’t ring and there was no knock at my door or doorbell, so they must have gone to the wrong address or something. It says they will reattempt tomorrow so I have to wait in again, but I have therapy at 3pm so need to leave to catch the bus at 13:45, so I’m anxious incase the delivery doesnt arrive in time.
Then I was supposed to have a phonecall with the cessation nurse about my nicotine quit, which is going well, I stopped using patches 78 days ago, and stopped using the inhalator 20 days ago, now I’m just using the lozenges and mouth spray. Her call didnt come through 2 weeks ago, so I’ve already waitsd since then to speak to her about the next step down, but her call didn’t come through today either. So frustrating not having reliable or strong enough phone signal. I made a request online for some 2mg lozenges as I want to step down from the 4mg ones to progress my quit, but they text me to say I have to speak to the nurse before they will do that. So now I have to wait another week and hope her call comes through then.
Then for the third day in a row I got bullied by teenagers whilst out on my walk. I can hear them over my music but I pretend that I can’t. Two of them rode their scooters directly towards me then swerved at the last minute and made stupid noises at me. I don’t understand what makes them feel like they can bully me, but it makes me rage in despair. They should all be going back to school next week so I guess I’ll just have to keep doing my best to ignore them until then. It’s hard though, I already struggle to leave my flat every time I go out, and these things make it that much harder.
Someones dog was barking non-stop for the past 2.5hrs, so I haven’t been able to start my check-in until now (9pm), even though I have been trying since 6:30pm. I’ve caught up and it is now 10:40pm! I’ve never really paid attention to how long it takes me to catch-up before.
I have therapy tomorrow so I hope that goes well. I will not be talking about my eating disorder this week.
I also had a phone assessment for the Adult Eating Disorder Service this morning, and she will be calling me again on Friday or Monday to discuss treatment options, it’s short-term help that they offer in the beginning, CBT based, but it’s something.
Sorry for the rant.
🩵
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You keep showing up for yourself and fighting for your sobriety! I believe in you Jules
@flourishingperson1 Sending you strength and clarity to stay in the present and to keep working on your sober time. You are doing great my friend – do know we are here for you.
Hey Michelle so grateful that you are getting back on the sobriety track! I totally love that you are taking it ODAAT. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. Make sure to have a good support system irl as well as try to stay connected here as much as possible. Honestly, this site has been my saving grace.
@amy30 I do hope you are feeling less overwhelmed this week. I know it was a tough decision but like you said – you can totally enroll next year. Your mental health and sobriety is priority
@mindofsobermike how did your first in class - class go today Mike? Its harder for your mind to absorb new thoughts when you are lacking sleep. Sorry you did not get sleep. I know the first week of school when you still have to figure out classes / teachers and all that can be nerve wreaking. Do you try anything like meditation, mindful scans or deep breathing to help you sleep?
@deelzebub I am so sorry that you are dealing with the grief of your late husband. I love all of @lorelai’s suggestions and just hope that you can make time for yourself. The healing process is tricky and there really is no set path or time frame for it. Just remember to be gentle with yourself. I am very impressed with your therapist. Glad that she has your best well being in mind and helping you with such love and support.
@brokenwolf congrats on your 640 days of sobriety. It is rough as we get older to keep day to day friendships going like we did in our younger years. I find that life gets lifey and most people don’t have the energy to keep chatting / meeting on a regular. I know my best friend and I talk maybe 4 or 5 times a year and haven’t seen each other in over 3 years but when we talk it’s like no time has passed at all. It is not that we don’t love one another and want to talk all the time but we both have a lot going on and can’t maintain that type of relationship. On the other hand I’ve had plenty of friendships where it was one sided and just a lot of give with nothing in return. Its best to figure out which it is so you don’t cut out true friends that are just super busy.
@Katiee sending you strength right back my friend – hope your mood got better!
@tatitheunicorn96 Welcome to the community Tatiana! Great job on your Sobriety days. Keep up the great work!
Great job on jumping back on the sobriety train John and awesome job on your AF and smoke free time. Keep up the amazing work.
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518 days. Had a pretty challenging day yesterday, I just had so much going on at home, with work, with the kids. Just really leaning on all the things to keep me grounded, oils, fresh air, cuddles with my husband and dog.
Full moon really be hitting me 
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@timetochange Sorry to hear about the past – you have come a long way and I am grateful for your 66 days of sobriety! Love that you are trying to jump back into learning a new language. I hope you have fun with it and love that you are rewarding yourself with a trip in February – great motivation!
Man this is a huge achievement and definitely needs to be brought to light. The tiredness is totally understandable with all that you have done – I do hope that it does not morph into fatigue. Get some well deserved rest my friend.
@karenkw glad the travel went smoothly Karen. Like Billy said – enjoy your “mom” time and have a great time yourself.
@catmancam Thanks friend! Sounds rough all around. Are you able to let them know online that you a have not been able to get in touch with the nurse for over 2 weeks due to issues with phone service and need to have a different way to communicate with the nurse? As for the delivery issue – that sucks! Been through that and once I even waited on the porch and still got undeliverable message – so annoying. I do hope you get your package before you have to head out tomorrow. May I say DAMN the kids – some assholes are just that – plain assholes. I think you’ve handled it well and I do hope they fucking quit with that shit asap. Not that you should have to but are you able to do a different route (more for your own sanity). Hope everything goes well with your therapy tomorrow.
Tuesday evening check in -
251 alcohol and weed free
666 cigarette free
i for some reason thought i was at 9 weeks but today marks 12 weeks of my gluten free diet – i have decided to keep going with this till they can figure out cause of inflammation or at least until inflammation goes down. I spent the morning doing some deliveries and then spent time with parents - grocery shopping and took them to my favorite Japanese restaurant. It was a lovely afternoon. We did try to go for a walk in my favorite park but my body had too much excitement for today so we did like a 10 min loop - plus it was getting hot. All in all a great day. Hoping everyone had a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all much love 
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Thanks Billy - stay safe my friend 
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I believe in you 
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21 days AF. It has been really tough the last couple of days. My mind has been doing the funky boogie woogie (my new nickname for stinkin’ thinkin’). I’ve been isolating (no meeting last two days) but I’ve talked to my sponsor, daily gratitudes, and reading the daily meditations for steps 1-3. Tomorrow 9am meeting. I know my issues are driven by myself and my ego. But I can still do the right thing and not pick up a drink. I wouldn’t do that to my family and also, oh yeah, MYSELF! 
we all deserve sober lives!
Job anxiety ongoing, but I just focused on what I needed to get done today. Smokey’s meds are going well but it is still a stressful process. Hope everyone is safe and well.
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I don’t know if I’m the only one or am I overreacting or is it just something that can piss anyone off.
Friday night I worked late, two of the guys closing up asked if I wanted to go to the bar/restraunt club whatever it is across the street, one of the guys from our shop is now the manager there so yeah why not, we can shoot ball, check out the live music and atmosphere count me in
They order, and I said yeah I’ll have a coke please, bartender replies what do you want in it? I said nothing just coke, again she’s like what you don’t want anything in it? Yeah maybe some ice if your feeling generous no alcohol I don’t drink, which kinda gave a puzzled look but whatever
So we’re playing darts, and my coworker said you really don’t drink huh? I said no, I have three years and some change sober. Not planing to change that, he’s like really that’s fucking awesome, no big deal
Then the other one chimed in, with “yeah I was an alcoholic, but I’m better now, I leaned how to Control it ” and I about lost my mind
This is the problem with addicts of any form, along with a “it’s a choice” the general consensus thinks it’s just cured, like you get a cold, here’s some medicine rest up and drink fluids for a week and it cycles, nah shits like diabetes or cancer, your never cured you just manage symptoms or go into remission.
I am not proud of being an alcoholic or addict, it sucks but it’s part of who I am. But when people think that it’s a cured disease, like yeah I beat it I can consume alcohol with discipline, it drives me absolutely insane. I know there is no cure, it’s a lifelong battle, we can oñly treat the symptoms
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Thank you! I really appreciate it
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Day 515
Doing good, been keeping up with most of my little “sanity tasks”, plus cleaned up my house and did a bunch of dishes/reclaimed the kitchen. Tomorrow is my food prep day, i have to restock my freezer and fridge or else we end up spending way too much on take out and my gut gets angry.
I’ll be making black beans, rice, lentils, quinoa, chicken in a couple different ways, and my custom yogurt bowls (a recipe cultivated and perfected over time). Aside from the yogurt bowls I’ll mix and match the rest to create a bunch of freezable meals we can just microwave.
Other than the usual, I have been meaning to post the rest of this for a few days now.
I’m struggling with what has to be some sort of unfortunate milestone in longer sobriety. I always have fleeting moments of “just one hit”, but lately, like the past week-ish, it’s just been ten-fold on my mind in the most annoying way.
I’ve been using all my tools, and honestly had to struggle through replacing food as the stand-in vice. It’s been weird feeling “itchy” like this again, but like i stated a few days ago, I’m not about to give up my numbers for “just a hit”.
Getting these “it’s been long enough and i can manage it now” intrusive thoughts has been exhausting, but i AM combating them with the big stick of addiction recovery skills i have gathered over the last 16.5 months.
Anyways, that’s why i decided getting back on track with coming here daily would be a good add on. I’m okay now, and I’ll keep going on. addiction is just the annoying Orange in my brain and I’m just gonna have to keep ignoring it.
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Hey Thanks Dana! Appreciate the shoutout @JazzyS @CATMANCAM
Hit a meeting this afternoon to stay focused, nice crowd. Stacked up another 24hrs today. Have a good night crew 
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I have had the same trouble around 12 days clean. Multiple times lately, I would open up to self sabotage and the exit strategies from sobriety. We can learn from each others success and struggles, that’s what this group is about.
Phrase caught my attention at a recent meeting when someone read “how it works”. It was the part “ Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.” The word absolutely rang in my ears… that is the level of commitment I was not reaching. Not quitting after a holiday or the Super Bowl or until I get pissed off but … absolutely.
Wish you well Julia, keep learning and keep reaching up
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Congrats on your 3 weeks - i am so sorry for the past few days! any reason for the isolation? glad that you are doing your other rituals to keep you on the sober path. i know that the meetings seemed to help- hopefully tomorrow’s meeting will be a good start to get back to it. Much love my friend - sending strength 
hope things go well with Smokey 
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not alone here - that would totally piss me off as well.
totally agree and i wish others would see alcoholism for what it is. sorry that you had to experience such bs tonight!
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your number is impressive Marianna
i am sorry that the feelings / urges / voices are so persistent. glad that you are back on track by coming here daily and staying active here (it has been my saving grace). Do you also have any other support systems in place? meetings, therapist, counselor? we are here love - i do hope it gets easier. sending you some strength
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