Thank you! And yeah, I do have a pretty good support network which makes things a lot easier. My therapist also has a similar diagnosis to my own so it does make discussing the struggles a little bit easier.
My husband and the rest of my family have been really supportive through the whole process, and I think another reason I keep on persisting is the thought of how I would feel if I had to tell them I had broken my sobriety.
I think it’s just a moment where I’m going to have to figure out what’s going on underneath that’s making this come up, and I will keep on trying to sort that out in the meantime.
Thanks again so much and yeah I’m definitely glad to be back!
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Greetings
Today was a pretty good day. The sun shone all day. I got fed good food by two of my clients. I went on a 30 minute service call and got $100 tip. Then I spent the rest of my day on the roof of a million dollar house. When I got home I pissed off all my people. The last few weeks has been about setting boundaries, the more I do it the better it feels. Everybody hates me and I just don’t fuckin care!! Hahahaha
Checking in
393 days no booze
11 days no tobacco
We’re all gonna die but not today, thank you all for being a part of my recovery.
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This is one of those live and let live situations. You know what you are. Same as me. It took a long time for me to accept that I have to be done drinking, forever. I was in denial for a very long time believing I could control it.
I understand how frustrating it is to hear people say untrue things about a disease you have. Especially when you learned the truth the hard way. They just haven’t gotten there yet. When I see people like this, I feel sorry for them. I pray to myself they won’t fall as far as I did before they realize.
Anger feels awful. Don’t waste your mental energy on something you can’t change. Live and let live 
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I can relate Curtis. People without boundaries don’t like it when we set them. I’m experiencing the same thing right now. Family members not supporting me and then blaming me for cutting them off.
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Day 73
Crazy busy at work and no desire to drink. Supposed to pick up my parents ashes tomorrow from my sons front porch. I refuse to meet with my DIL without my son present. I’m hoping she follows the plan but my intuition tells me she’s going “accidentally forget”. Pray I’m wrong.
Thank you for all of the support. I’m so grateful for everyone here.
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I was so tired this morning. I slept fine. Woke up, made/ate breakfast, and then layed down on the couch. I had more energy after I slept a bit but then I had to get ready for work. I hate doing that when my daughter’s home bc that’s all I used to do every day for years. I’d love when she went back to school bc I could sleep ALL day. Ugh. Such a waste. This year I’m planning to get some much needed detail cleaning done while she’s at school when my job starts slowing down. And if I need a quick nap from time to time I won’t beat myself up about it.
I’ve been noticing a lot of movies on Netflix that I gave a 
to but don’t remember watching. I must’ve watched them blacked out. At least there’s a bigger selection for me when I can’t decide what to watch, lol.
Anyway. Hope everyone has a great day/night! Keep up the good fight 
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Thank you so much
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That’s inspiring.
I thought it’s absolutly… And I am more reliable. But I didn’t sit down and ask myself whatsup long enough. 2 minutes was not enough before hurrying to the shop. I still want to be clean!
Thank you so much BT 
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Day 67. Restless nights sleep
Working today and tomoro then off till Sunday (working overnight on Sunday)
Day 67 is pretty much another day one. Each day is an opportunity to not screw up and to do something positive. Today i am not drinking. I will work and then relax
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Believe me, I put a lot of effort into friendships, a hell of a lot, I have Asperger’s syndrome and ADHD, maintaining social relationships is a massive struggle for me so I do everything I can to maintain the friendships I have.
In my world outside of my family I have very few connections. I would number it to 1 real true friend who I know is there and will always be there. Sadly I only had 2 other people I would regularly contact, however over the past 5 months the messages and contact has dried up from them, I’ve sent multiple messages asking about their family and how they are, inviting them to go for coffee, rock climbing, bowling, I’ve even invited them to go out to night clubs etc as I know that is what they like (even though it’s massively out of my comfort zone) but they have ignored the offers and invites. They’ve stopped inviting me to their 5-a-side football games which I was a regular part of but had to stop playing because I tore my thigh and now I am ignored and yesterday they removed me from the WhatsApp group for it so I naturally feel they have decided they don’t want me in their life anymore. In the last 4 months all contact has been from me to them and between the 2 of them I had got 3 words in response and when they update Facebook with their photos of their “great nights out” or “amazing days out” with the other lads we played football with etc I struggle to see what more I could do and as their actions are to ignore me and it’s making me feel low I’m not going to try with them anymore.
But, honestly, you’re probably right. The problem is absolutely me, I am a burden, I try to please too much and I am a weird guy because of my issues. I’m socially awkward and grumpy, so I might as well be a good friend and stop contact and be ignored because I don’t want to be their problem.
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Wow, that does sound tough. Sometimes these things happen and they are very hurtful. It sounds like you have done everything in your power and they have chosen not to accept your friendship anymore. I am sorry as it must really hurt. You have made the right decision to step away and protect yourself.
I love reading your posts and don’t think you awkward btw.
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1544
Rainy morning. That’s Ok. Working later. That’s fine too. I’m free from substances and that’s the best. Never again. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love from my old hood.
@BJonns I feel it’s not about being strong enough. It’s about having the right toolbox, which includes the right mindset and the right support system. And it’s about being ruthlessly honest with yourself. No more sneaking around. Never again. It’s good you are here now, next time please come here before you give in!
@CATMANCAM Man I don’t even know what to say. Big hugs friend 
@Fury I get you but I feel I’m beyond that sort of rage now. If something like that happens now (and it does, quite often, at work) I’ll give my two cents. Their life and theirs to fuck it up.
@mamador I strongly believe we (we as in addicted folk)) need community. A sober community that is. Glad you’re back. BTW, this goes for @Catmama23 too. We nee ach other friend. Wherever whenever. Can’t do it alone.
@Soberbilly Be safe Billy.
@BrOKenWolf No you’re not. Find your own tribe. It can be a long search, I know all about it.
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Checking in 
3 days sober, it’s beautiful this morning, sunny, clear blue sky, I live in Scotland where mornings like this are hit or miss, but I got up at 5am as didn’t sleep much and walked coops for ages taking in the morning, now work and hopefully the early rise and long walk will help me sleep better tonight ODAAT have a great day everyone
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Thank you so much. I am still in shock to be honest that my body is allowing this. When I was first ill I couldn’t work and could barely look after the kids, had to drive the 5 minute walk school run 
Would spend the weekend in bed to recover, missed out on so much. Now I am about to start FT hours and am managing daily exercise. I am cautious though as don’t want a crash. Every now and then I have a nap that is more fatigue driven than usual and it serves as a warning.
I have been pondering on whether the body goes through cycles, and mine is now receptive to all this work. There is no way I could have done this a couple of years ago. It isn’t just ‘powering’ through as I know that doesn’t work. The gluten free diet has definitely helped. I hope you find a way through your fatigue. I don’t ever want my posts to come across as everyone should be able to as I have. I know from experience that you need to work with your body and take your cues from it. I am just so lucky that mine has decided to allow healing.
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Checking in for day 1.
I’m fine, I’m here and I’m sober.
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You are absolutely right. I am going to make sure I jump on here daily. I see it helps so many others.
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Checking in Day 57. Just put the washing out on the line and had to come in and change. It is starting to feel autumnal here, much cooler even when the sun is shining. You can smell the change in season. I struggle in the darker months but find nature has little ways of helping you through. We are going for a walk on a heath soon so that will help.
I think I can sense the start of term and my new increase in hours approaching as I was awake last night with anxiety. It wasn’t terrible, but just ‘there’. Hoping the walk helps. I need to remain present in this week I think.
Have a lovely day everyone
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Hey all, checking in on day 1172. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Hey there, I’m sorry you’re being shut out by people you considered friends. No way around it, it hurts. For what it’s worth I think your original post was spot on and you’re right, empty friendships are toxic and it’s healthy to let that go. You will find people who “get” you if you keep trying and putting yourself out there. I see no blaming going on, you’ve done your best to maintain friendships that just aren’t going to pan out, it seems. I agree with @JennyH , I see no awkwardness from you here and appreciate you being a part of this community! Stick around here, friend. We are here for you.
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Checking in for the night. Sober head on the pillow tonight. Not quite 24 hours, almost. Hope everyone has a good day/night.
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