Checking in on day 88.
I’ve felt my way through a range of emotions so far today. I was concerned that my son would find it difficult to go into school again and he was still a little anxious. I told him, especially as it is a lovely morning that he should at least walk in to school and that he’d probably feel fine when he got there.
Once both kids left for school I had an energy slump and just crawled back into bed for a bit. I’ve had a bath and finished it with a cold blast under the shower and then did one of the more gentle breathing exercises. My appetite hasn’t been great but I made up a slightly larger batch of breakfast kefir and I’ve had half now and will have the other half later.
I have arranged to have a chat with the yoga teacher after the lunchtime session so I’m looking forward to that. Then it will just be doing the small amount of grocery shopping I need for the evening.
I may check in again this evening but for now my mood is lifted a little from this morning.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day and thanks to all those who responded to yesterday’s check in.
I’m sorry they have treated you like that, you didn’t deserve it by the effort you’ve said you’ve put in trying to stay in contact, my husband is waiting to be tested for asperger’s, he is the same finds social interactions very difficult but he tries really hard and the few friends he does have know he tries hard, it doesn’t seem like your friends really appreciate how hard you try and being honest your right to walk away, your not weird, your just you and just keep being you 
Indeed it might be a bit confusing, but this pic is Amsterdam, my birthplace and residence. I work and go to therapy in Utrecht. BTW, there is a number of movies that have used Utrecht as stand in for Amsterdam. It seems more Amsterdam than Amsterdam itself at times 
Checking in for day 37
If i tell her i tell my mother in law I LOL’d. 
Day 333
I’m negative!!!
I already was grocery shopping and did the laundry.
I jumped on the scale bc I thought that I maybe lost some weight while almost not eating.
Lost nothing 
So I’m the impossible human for most dietitians who claim “if you eat less you lose weight”. Not me buddy.
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
Days PMO free: Day 27
Days with PS5 in the closet to close the day: 35
Days went to bed the same time with my wife: 35
Just checking in this morning.
Day 23 Sober check in
Day 984,
Finally some movement. As of Friday I’ll start again with some ADHD medication. Hopefully this will give me some peace of mind. My head still makes over hours. Next week also will discuss how long they still want me to stay. Might be another 4 weeks. Hope the medication also helps with coping better and filter a bit what comes in and out. The positive thing is that they monitor the medication side of things, for the rest there are hardly any 
.
Greetz
Whoa!
How beautiful.
Checking in, my body is so very tired since it has gotten cold but I feel sooo good and comfy!
Am experiencing next to no symptoms currently which is insanely amazing and completely different and im so thankful. Im mesmerized by wonder everywhere.
Wanted to cancel my second appointment with the therapist. again. I called yesterday, he didnt pick up. Which was very lucky bc by now I have decided that I will go tomorrow after all.
What helped me make my decision was reading that one of my favorite tv show writers (dan harmon) went to eight different therapists. And they even wrote an episode about therapy (rick and morty idk which one), which was so amazing to watch, in general, even before I ever considered going. Kudos to famous people coming out about going to therapy.
I still have doubts and inhibitions about going, but had the groundbreaking idea to share them with the therapist😂
Alright so I’ll swallow my ego and be honest:
Big part of my problem is that I like to think that im smart, and so the thought of another person knowing better about me than me, nags at my ego. Also: I feel discomfort that someone will intimately know how my mind works and what it thinks.
Idk.
Then again I read that therapists are also just people with different degrees of understanding patients. And that they will say a bunch of stuff and some things will not fit while other things will stick with you, so its like a buffet of mental health. With hopefully at least some remaining privacy?
I’m hoping that no therapist on earth can fully see through another persons mind bc I dont want that…
I’m hoping im not alone with this way of thinking.
Sending hugs, love and thankfulness for this community.
Checking in day 324
I totally get the constantly trying with friends thing. There comes a time where you just say ‘that’s enough’. Sometimes I feel a text message every now and then is just for the sake of it, because I feel I ought to keep in touch.
How did the comp go? I’ve missed a few days of posts…
Checking in on day 66, so far the day is going well
Hope everyone has a great day 
Good morning everyone,
Kids are off to school and I have to say I feel somewhat lost. I have spent so much of this past year and a half solely focused on my nephew and family care needs, that taking a step back feels very strange. I need to find that Quinten Tarantino meme because that is me right now, but my lists are miles long. Have to remember, lists in life never get shorter…and thats just life! And to take one day and step at a time.
Husband is clearing out the basement to make a work space, and to get started on his new business. I am all in for him there, and love the idea of his doing this for himself and us. My next step is to enroll in the book keeping course, and I think I am also going to start beading and possibly selling those things at a farmera market. I know there is a good chance I will need to take a job to keep us afloat, and I am prepared to do that. Its an exciting adventure for both of us, but also we have to remember that there will be downs and things not working out without it letting us to feel we are getting hammered and that thinfs will never work out. Thats the thing about having had a rough ass time, is that the blows and feel like they are all just adding up and that thought can creep in that life is hard af on you and isnt fair.
Both my parents used to say the fairs in town once a year and costs $5 to get in at the time I thought that was an annoying thing to say, but its true. Doesnt really matter what is fair, what matters is feeling a bit grateful each day and if you dont knowung that if youre open to it, could be a better day tomorrow. Felt i should check in here today bc Im fewling a bit out of fuckinf sorts. A bit risky here, but you know what…it was a bit of a risk move to move out in the country from the city, and it was overwhelming and isolating at first…but we took a chance on something wr thought COULD be for us. And guess what?? We love it. Best risk i ever took. Sometimes it turns out that way.
Love you all & xo.
I was told once that there are many types of friends, and they often fall into 3 categories: seasons, reasons and the lifers. We’re lucky to find lifers, but manybpeople are just in our life for a season or reason. It can be hard letting go, but sometimes it is best and it opens us up for new connections with others who value our time and friendship. Sadly, relationships can run their course. Xo. Congrats on all those ODAAT added up you are doing amazing!! Xo.
I am not sure if it is my place to say this, but having Aspergers and ADHD does not mean the problem is you and I am sorry that society and others send that message to you. Just wanted to say that. The problem is our world, and a lack of understandong and acceptance of others who are neurodivergent. And I think others on this platform should also be mindful about reinforcing the idea that you should always look inward - yes, we have to find solutions, but that does not always mean that the problem is you. It is not wrong to acknowledge when others are not behaving well towards you, that is not blaming. People with Autism already internalize enough that the problem is them. Hope you are finding your community here & wishing you another 24 xo.
Checking in. Read something a place that I thougth maybe was a part of all my pains and symptoms that doctor dont find any medical reason for and say is anxiety. Maybe it is and I have this because Im punishing my self because of guilt,that I desvere this because of things I have done and feel bad for, everyday…
I can understand the shock when you do find yourself being able to move and do things that were so utterly impossible. I am so thrilled for you! I know it comes and goes and we need to be vigilant. We do need to get rid of the “push through” mentality as hard as that is.
I did have a really bad episode about 10 years ago where I couldn’t move for about a month and took another 6 to get my energy back to normal. It was a super scary time in my life and you know what – as soon as I was functioning again – I totally forgot about what I had been through and continued with my insane work schedules. I do hope that i have the sense this time when i do heal from this that i do not go back to my old ways.
I totally get what you are trying to convey in your posts and also know the relief you are feeling from healing from this condition. You are totally right about taking cues from your body and listening to it. Glad you are seeing benefits to the diet.
Much love my friend - hope you have a wonderful day!