@Butterflymoonwoman thank you!!! Today 8 days with great headache
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Youre doing great! It is so interesting how it works. Can be so tricky for sure and tends ro romanticize on the good, or not caring about the bad and pushing it out of view. Ive been spendinf time getting to know that side of me, and how shes (its just one perspective of course there are many!) trying to help me - trying to help me cope and manage, but her behaviour is harmful. Shes a part of me like all parts, and Im trying to fingure out what she needs, and to let her know she can trust me - we got this. Keep chugging away there bud youre doing amazing things! Xo.
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Hello yaāll,
Feeling quite at ease, which is a bit of a strange way to feel after this last few years. Feel I have a focus for many tjings, next one to focus on is how I will make money. Jusyt want to be comfortable, and hubby and I are on a new journey there. Hes working away on his shop room inbthe basement. Ive yet to sign up for the bookkeeping course, but we have some paperwork I want to handle first.
Brainstorming on some creative ideas for myself. Bracelet making, furniture refinishing and turning our place into more of a homestead (slowly, nothing radicalā¦). I believe the slow, gradual changes can be as meaningful and sometimes end up being more lasting then the big, fast ones. Each has its place, but it is something to slowly build, and beforebyou know it you look back and its like shitā¦I/we did that? Wow.
Anyway, harvested our apples today and got an apple peeler fron the 2nd hand store and our kids were having so much fun peeling the apples. I like to cut and freeze them for crisps over the winter. Have so many tomatoes I made a huge batch of sauce to freeze, and now trying to look at that stuff as not just hobby things or things I enjoy hut actual work. The work I do in the home is an important JOB. Its work, and I do love it, but its work and to be valued and appreciated. Weāre so conditioned to believe thst its just the stuff that women and momsbhave to get done, and Im just tryijg to breatj in to itā¦like this is important, it takes efforts, and I can love my job while also being like damn Im a bit tired.
Keep plugging away everyone. Happy 24 xo.
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How are you Dana? Hope that pumpkin spice latte was absolutely heavenly 
Were you able to get some rest today? Checking in on you my friend - hope you do not have to do another over nighter. 
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@flourishingperson1 Congratulations on one week!
@Mischa84 Hope you feel better soon!
@Ballroomdaze Hope you recover soon. We are here to support you!
@Mindofsobermike Noticing is the first step. You are doing some new things, itās understandable your brain would go back to comfortable soothing strategies (skipping the gym and so on). But you are stronger than that now. A bad workout is better than no workout.
@MooseTracks Congratulations 
Proud of you!
@Becs Welcome! Two weeks is so great!
@SadMemeQueen Sending good vibes.
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Lord, when I first started teaching English getting my head around all of that was so hardš. I was never taught that at school, and when it is your native language you donāt think about it, just use language, makes it extra hard to see and understand language as the different pieces and different roles. I found looking at lots of examples (googled) helped more that the explanations.
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Evening Check In
Day 569
@JazzyS Hey girl, I was just about to do a check in and saw ur post. Thank u for thinking of me 
Last night was rough but today completely made up for it! My husband gave me some spending money last week to do with what I wanted, and since then I had planned to go today to the mall to buy some self care items. It sucked that i had to do the overnight shift last night but im sooo glad that i didnt let that stop me from going out today. I went and grabbed my Nonfat Pumpkin Spice latte (which was sooo good btw!!!) And then went to the mall and just enjoyed my day looking around. I didnt rush around like i usually do, I didnt stress and get angry at people around me bcuz they were walking to slow etc, I didnt getting overwhelmed or anything at all! I literally had no care in the world. I wasnt worrying, I wasnt anxious, nothing. I have not experienced this sense of peace inā¦ i dont even know when. And I wish I could bottle this up and save it for a time when I need it bcuz this is verrry unlike my character. My life has felt soooo serious for as long as I can remember. Having a simple sense of genuine joy is rare for me. So idk what I did differently today. Maybe it was bcuz I love shopping and I didnt have to price check everything to make sure it was in my budget haha idk.
Anyway, I bought a cute pair of earrings, an apple pumpkin candle and autumn candle holder, a nice lip tint, a hair styling product, and a 4 piece gift bag of body care products in the scent warm vanilla sugar from Bath and Body. I was very grateful for all this and grateful for the time just for me.
I came home and had a nice hot shower. Put on my earrings, styled my hair, and threw on a little makeup. I felt like a human being and not a robot that is on autopilot day n and day out. I barely had any urges to engage in my ED either. It was such a good day. I know not every day will be like this but man i wish i had more days like this.
Verrrry grateful for this experience bcuz it showed me what has been missing in my life. This genuine sense of joy and peace and contentment and happiness. I need to capture this moment 
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Ah Dana
This made me so happy to read. Glad you had a day for just you. Grateful that a day of self pampering gave you energy to enjoy the day and such a lovely sense of peace.
I do hope for many more genuine joyous moments in your life 
you deserve them all 
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Thanks my friend how are YOU doing today?
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Congrats on a year sober!
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Wow amazing work!!! Well done!!! 
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Moving very slowly but movingā¦got a lot of work done so im happy about that.
Spine pain is still higher than before i went to PT. Have appointment tomorrow- shall see if PT is in my future.
Were you able to get a nurse for tonight?
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Iām happy to hear that youāre going to therapy PT for your back pain. Iām a personal trainer and I know that spine pain can sometimes be debilitating so cheers to yours subsiding soon!
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Oh thanks friendā¦only had 1 session so far - was not so great afterwards. Thanks for the encouragement- i do hope that it gets better
How are you doing today? Energy levels any better?
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Is PT supposed to make things more painful? I always sort of thought that it was meant to make things better? But maybe it has to get worse before it gets better? Idk. I hope ur appt goes well tmrw.
I thankfully do have a nurse for tonight. A floater nurse so i do get to sleep
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It will get better In due time! Like all great things right? Also I feel a tad bit better. I just ran 6 miles and now Iām working out. My birthday is at midnight so Iām just making sure I continue to fill my time with positive activities and reflection.
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It should get better eventually but i have to build muscle around the spine and shift it back in position (i have lost majority of cushion between jounts and the bones have shifted).
It makes sense that it will hurt at first but at this rate i am not sure if im strong enoughā¦havent slept more than 2-4 hrs a night since Friday. I did stop puking and i do t really feel any of my other ailments so im happy about that. Not to worry- it will all work out.
I am so happy to hear that you have a nurse tonight. Sweet dreams my dear friend
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Wow- you are doing great in your sobriety journey.
Keep up with your positivity and physical activity.
A very happy birthday to you 
ā¦bringing it in sober and celebrating it soberā¦how awesome is that 
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Thank you so much! I pray your pain gets better. Thank you for being a beacon of positivity. Being just 4 days in youāve really made this space very welcoming for me and I truly appreciate you.
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