Woo!! Made it with my sobriety in tact… had an emergency wedding decor help session and I turned down everything but a soda! I got this! Day 97.5!!
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Thank you Jasmine.
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Congratulations!
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Day92 without alcohol
Home from the lake. Glad to be home. Wishing I had one more day. I’m house sitting and dog sitting next weekend for a friend but I’m really wanting a weekend at home for myself. It’s been a lot traveling every weekend for the last few weeks.
Lizard season here in AZ and my cat keeps catching baby lizards and bringing them in the house. Really not up to catch and release.
My back is bothering me. It’s been painful as of late which is disappointing. I will call and head back to the pain management doctor for next steps. Bummed it’s cramping my ability to live the kinda life I want. It could be worse I suppose.
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Checking in
412 days no booze
30 days no tobacco
Wandered around in a mostly dried up crick bed for a few hours with my boys. Saw a mountain toad and the dog licked it. He foamed at the mouth and I flushed him with all the water I had on me. On the way back to the vehicle he was acting kinda goofy. Maybe he was tripping a little.
Ended our day at the lake. Apollo was being a dirty little butthole until I gave him a fish. I ruined the dog’s manners but it’s probably the healthiest thing that he eats. Happy Sober Night to Everyone.
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Happy happy birthday @Mira_D , you beautiful soul 
I hope night out was fun and apples tasty 
You are doing great with your life, I truly adore you.
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Checking in, commited to stay sober.
I have some hunting worries in my head this morning. It’s about the life changes and the new apartment. And why I am so hardly tired all the time. If I am doing things right.
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Sunday Funday! No not really 
Slept in which was nice. Leisurely watched a movie while listening to neighbors hooting and hollering over the Bills game. I am no sort of sports fan. After warming up with a shower I felt motivated to clean. But then procrastinatingly thought of where to start for so long I ended up with only an hour. Spot cleaned the bathroom, put dishes away, put away some clothes, and vacuumed. Better than nothing.
Developed a headache on the way to get my daughter. Those new LED headlights are fucking blinding at night. It’s like permanent high beams. Anyway. Just had a sneeze attack and my eyes are itchy. Feel like sleep is the answer.
Goodnight all 🩷
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day 565 of no self harm
it is almost 1am just got home from Beetlejuice the musical. I laughed for most of the show , I’ve seen a handful of musicals on tour and this was by far the best in terms of fun. it was like a comedy show and a musical together. so much better than I could’ve imagined.
heading to bed now so glad I got to experience this
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Day one, again. Third time of getting sober, this will be the hardest, but i know i can do it with everything i’ve learned the last two times. I had 18 months and the relapsed for a year and a half. Sobered up again for two years and relapsed after a hard break up.
Started drinking again while dating, i pretend i managed it at the start. But i never really did. Found myself in another relationship, for comfort, drinking almost ruined it once. I promised to not drink anymore. Quit fot two weeks and then hid my daily drinking from her for the last 8 months. She travels for work a lot, so the times she was gone i hid myself in my house and drank morning to passout.
I’ve maintained my job and my house, but i have become a recluse. I hate how i feel. My girlfriend has to move across the country because of work. We are ending things. I found this out two weeks ago and have drank myself to the edge.
This weekend was my breaking point. I’m tired of being controlled by alcohol! I know how to be sober, i want a life! I am a fighter and not a quitter, i will not let alcohol take me out or control my life.
So tonight I poured all of it down the drain. Day 1 starts now, i’m done!
I’ve been a part of this community for many years. Love the support it gives, i need it now.
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standing ovation
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This is fascinating. I will take it to heart, thank you!
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Welcome back to TS! You got this! You’ve had long runs of success before, remember those valuable lessons and tools. And keep fucking going!!! 
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Day 38*
It was a productive weekend. I am feeling a ton of anxiety going into this work week. I need to work on some tools to manage my work stress better. The early sobriety feelings are still in play -anxiety, irritability, and I need to remember to treat myself accordingly.
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Haha, hey Jasmine😁 thanks for asking, I’m good!
Mentally im very good and im productive with writing. Thats honestly the height of my existence , so i feel amazing.
Have also learned a lot about my personality through the MBTI model. Its just a model and not perfect (e.g. potential of mistyping etc.), but personally i could take away a lot from it. Esp. regarding some of my weaknesses that I havent realized before.
Physically… Im a ghost😂 idk whats wrong im really weak even though im not sick. I called in sick at work but didnt actually see a doctor. I might if this goes on.
Ive been so massively tired that I can only spare so much energy.
Have been dealing well with guilt about not checking in here😂 feels bad to say…
but I used to torture myself so hard and now no longer; this is a win, my dear friends.
My life has turned around completely since I decided to prioritize mindfulness / awareness. Thereby literally freeing myself of all baggage (=past, future; negative overthinking) that used to weigh me down so immensely. Im free now.
(Mostly😂… its a muscle to be trained like everything else and there are phases like always in life).
Physical effect of that: Used to have a bad stiff neck. The right side of my neck and shoulder were really tense and hurt for years. No amount of stretching, acupuncture, painkillers, heat therapy, even deep breathing, could help me. Now that Ive silenced my mind (the mean part of it which is the biggest) a month later it is simply gone. It is almost scary. Whoa.
@JazzyS Jasmine I hope you are okay, you wonderful being. I have read sth about you having bad pains again and Im so sorry. I really hate that 
Thinking of you and all the wise words you have spoken to lift me up. 
Quick reminder to anyone struggling with negativity in their head:
We deserve unconditional forgiveness, love and acceptance from our self, to our self. I mean this not as a nice idea, but literally.
Every body who has good intentions deserves unconditional self-love automatically; logically. Errors… are a natural part of humans. Our best is almost never The best, we arent softwares, we’re alive. So as long as you want good for yourself and others, its logically necessary that you forgive, love, and accept yourself unconditionally. Everything else is logically wrong and massively counter-productive to the well being of you and thereby others.
Say yes to being your own best friend.
Keep at it and soon you will build a brand-new muscle to punch yourself in the face. Your mean self. ;D
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The worries passt.
Everything is manageable.
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@Lotusflower congratulations in day 5. I read your post. Thank you for sharing.
Day 7 here but still I see myself very weak.
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Believing with all my heart that the third time is the charm! You know what to do, work your program and take it one day at a time.
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Day 1133
Rainy day, and it is a national holiday, so home all day with the kids (husband working). I got the kids to do their homework and English study early, but the afternoon I feel like I was endlessly cooking and getting snacks, negotiating sibling bickering, etc.
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Day 12, wide awake at 4am seems to be the norm for me. Perhaps I need to adjust when I fall asleep. I think my quality of sleep has improved, but I can’t stay asleep after I awake. I’m an avid meditator so I have been trying to use that to get back to sleep for a couple more hours.
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